Created this thread...

[StillStunned]

It seams to me that you guys are all skirting around the edges rather than committing to full sartorial splendour.

You've cottoned on to us!

 

[TheLobster]

Sorry, guys, I gotta put a patch on this for now. I’ve got other tales to weave.

 

[onehitwanda]

there's always a pattern to my shenanigans, a warp running through the weft, like something looming over you as you shuttle from side to side.

 

[Cacatua_Galerita]

Please quilt it y’awl. These puns just keep bobbin along - it’s like mental sewdomy,

 

[StillStunned]

there's always a pattern to my shenanigans, a warp running through the weft, like something looming over you as you shuttle from side to side.

There you go again, making your silky puns with pinpoint accuracy, making everyone else's efforts look woolly.

 

[onehitwanda]

There you go again, making your silky puns with pinpoint accuracy, making everyone else's efforts look woolly.

I do quite like to thread the needle, though my hands are a bit shaky these days.

 

[StillStunned]

I do quite like to thread the needle, though my hands are a bit shaky these days.

Bzzzt! We already had "threading the needle".

This might be a petty point, but even so.

 

[onehitwanda]

petty point

That's gross. Stop embroidering the truth.

 

[Devinter]

 

[onehitwanda]

View attachment 2358093

very hot, but it does start to chafe after a bit. You do need to keep all appropriate surfaces well-lubricated, while also obeying all hazard signage.

 

[StillStunned]

Have we risen above punning to talk about sex again?

 

[onehitwanda]

Have we risen above punning

Oh, my sweet summer child.

 

[StillStunned]

Oh, my sweet summer child.

Hey, it's all very well for you, sat in your ivory tower. But even if you pretend that you don't give a dam', ask yourself whether punning ever made anyone truly happy. For example, it's never brought anyone any cash, mere groans and the occasional chuckle.

 

[onehitwanda]

Hey, it's all very well for you, sat in your ivory tower. But even if you pretend that you don't give a dam', ask yourself whether punning ever made anyone truly happy. For example, it's never brought anyone any cash, mere groans and the occasional chuckle.

a well-executed pun gives me a glow for the rest of the day.

But then, I am terrible.

 

[StillStunned]

a well-executed pun gives me a glow for the rest of the day.

But then, I am terrible.

"Why Wanda, what a lovely glow you have! You must be pregnant!"

"No, I was engaged in a pun war this morning."

 

[Rustyoznail]

Hey, it's all very well for you, sat in your ivory tower. But even if you pretend that you don't give a dam', ask yourself whether punning ever made anyone truly happy. For example, it's never brought anyone any cash, mere groans and the occasional chuckle.

The puns here have left me in stitches...

 

[onehitwanda]

You must be pregnant!

Fate worse than death?
I love kids, but I love being able to hand them back to their parents even more

 

[StillStunned]

I love kids, but I love being able to hand them back to their parents even more

It's the best thing about having friends with kids.

 

[Cacatua_Galerita]

I do not like sewing wordplay or puns,
I do not like them Mr StillStunned,
onehitwanda may stitch them galore,
but she’s knitting a Frankenstein – a patchwork of gore.

But scissor jokes are cutting-edge parody.
Knot to me – they’re part of the malady.
A Sword of Damocles now hangs by a thread;
when I close my eyes, puns will weave through my head.

Don’t you like them in this thread?
No. Fuck that shit, I’m going to bed.

Then cast-off this site, if you insist it’s bedtime,
and sweet-seams of words, find a last one that might… cohere.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I was about to post something here... oh, look, there's a butterfly at the window; my cat, CAT, is going insane. What were we talking about?