Custard is a harsh mistress

[NoJo]

Good flan is, as you say, a very good thing. Creamy, almost-but-not-quite too rich, deriving most of its sweetness from the caramelized syrup. I'd like some right now, but the best to be had unless you have a Cuban grandmother you can order to make some right now, is at a market that will be closed in five minutes.

Mediocre flan is not even a poor substitute for good flan. It's just terrible.

Unlike sex, there is no "even if it's bad, it's good," in Flan World. Same with fresh strawberries; they're either perfect little bursts of bliss, or disappointing. There is no middle ground.

Dammit. I want some flan or custard now.

I think "flan" is actually not a real word. It just seems like one, like "blan" or "flad".

 

[BlackShanglan]

Sher, everyone who has it says my flan is the best they've ever had. It's so easy to make, got the recipe from an old Filipino lady. It's total cholesterol though. P.

What manner of bribery would be necessary to coax this recipe from you?

 

[Guest]

What manner of bribery would be necessary to coax this recipe from you?

None, I love to give it away. Will send it anon. P.

 

[BlackShanglan]

None, I love to give it away. Will send it anon. P.

Many grateful thanks!

(BTW, I just want to say - we've made three pages of a thread about custard. I'm so proud of us.)

 

[tolyk]

Many grateful thanks!

(BTW, I just want to say - we've made three pages of a thread about custard. I'm so proud of us.)

It must be due to the sexual connotations. Yeah, thats it..

 

[carsonshepherd]

You might want to try using a more contemporary cookbook next time.

 

[BlackShanglan]

You might want to try using a more contemporary cookbook next time.

Bah. If it was good enough for Alexis Soyer, it's good enough for me!

Shanglan

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Sher, everyone who has it says my flan is the best they've ever had. It's so easy to make, got the recipe from an old Filipino lady. It's total cholesterol though. P.

Perdita,

In the immortal words of James Brown, "Please, please, please, please, PM me the recipe. As we say down south, I've done had a craving flung on me. In return I'll gladly be, and forever remain, your humble and, sometimes-somewhat-sorta, obedient servant.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

Rumpleman, like I told the horse, I loves to give it away . Will PM soon.

Perdita

 

[neonlyte]

Late to the party!

Cornstarch - NO!

Custard is work, if it's not thick enough take it off the heat beat an egg yolk ot two, add some slightly cooled custard from the pan. Return pan to the heat and whisk in extra egg yolk mix like a demon.

Flan is infinitely superior - would love to see your recipe Perdita.

Ovos moles - the rich devastatingly sweet and kidney damaging 'custard' of Portugal should not be attempted unless you are seriously intent on damaging yourself, you kitchen and your sanity, however - the reward is seductively heavenly, actually improves over a couple of days and is suitable for blow torch attack to give that professional finish

By the way, when someone gets around to Chocolate Mousse - I do have the worlds best, never fail EVER chocolate mousse recipe.

 

[Guest]

By the way, when someone gets around to Chocolate Mousse - I do have the worlds best, never fail EVER chocolate mousse recipe.

Please post. I'll put up my flan recipe anon. P.

 

[Guest]

Flan recipe (I'm up too late!)

1-1/2 c. sugar
5 egg yolks
3 whole eggs (Lg.)
2 cans evaporated milk (I think they’re 12 or so oz. each)
1 tsp. vanilla extract (or a little more to your taste)

In heavy saucepan or skillet melt 3/4 c. sugar watching carefully not to burn it; use medium heat, stir constantly. When clear and liquid (don’t let it get too brown) pour into pan (e.g., 8” square or round pan, glass-Pyrex works best for turning out later) quickly and tilt pan back and forth to coat sides as well as bottom. “Quickly” because the liquid sugar will cool and set very fast. Set aside. (Be careful, the caramelized sugar is powerfully hot.)

In large bowl beat together the whole eggs, egg yolks, milk and remaining 3/4 c. sugar. Don’t beat to whip, just to mix evenly. I use a whisk or hand egg-beater, don’t use an electrical thingie.

Strain the mixture into another bowl using cheese-cloth or very fine sieve. Repeat and strain back into original bowl. You’ll see why, and it makes for a very smooth and sensually textured flan.

Pour mixture into the caramel-coated pan. Cover pan with aluminum foil, tightly, so the foil does not touch the custard. Make a couple slits in foil with a sharp knife point.

Put pan inside another pan and fill outer pan with water at least 1” deep (or nearly to top of flan pan). I do all this in the oven, otherwise it’s difficult placing the whole thing inside with the water and custard sloshing about.

Bake at 350-degrees for 1-1/4 to 1-1/2 hours, or until a butter knife inserted in the center comes out clean. The timing depends on the depth of your pan. I use a deep pan so the servings are large cubes vs. thin pie size.

Refrigerate overnight or long enough (hours) for the flan to become very cold. To unmold run a thin blade between the custard and pan to separate the sides from pan. Cover the pan with your serving dish and quickly flip over. The flan will slide down followed by the caramel sauce. Flipping is my favourite part (besides eating).

Enjoy and impress your friends!

 

[shereads]

Sher, everyone who has it says my flan is the best they've ever had. It's so easy to make, got the recipe from an old Filipino lady. It's total cholesterol though. P.

Ooh! Ooh! Tell: is it the old-fashioned kind with a bit of graininess in its texture, or is it the perfectly smooth kind? Cholesterol, you say? Huh. Who knew.

 

[shereads]

1-1/2 c. sugar
5 egg yolks
3 whole eggs (Lg.)
2 cans evaporated milk (I think they’re 12 or so oz. each)
1 tsp. vanilla extract (or a little more to your taste)

In heavy saucepan or skillet melt 3/4 c. sugar watching carefully not to burn it; use medium heat, stir constantly. When clear and liquid (don’t let it get too brown) pour into pan (e.g., 8” square or round pan, glass-Pyrex works best for turning out later) quickly and tilt pan back and forth to coat sides as well as bottom. “Quickly” because the liquid sugar will cool and set very fast. Set aside. (Be careful, the caramelized sugar is powerfully hot.)

In large bowl beat together the whole eggs, egg yolks, milk and remaining 3/4 c. sugar. Don’t beat to whip, just to mix evenly. I use a whisk or hand egg-beater, don’t use an electrical thingie.

Strain the mixture into another bowl using cheese-cloth or very fine sieve. Repeat and strain back into original bowl. You’ll see why, and it makes for a very smooth and sensually textured flan.

Pour mixture into the caramel-coated pan. Cover pan with aluminum foil, tightly, so the foil does not touch the custard. Make a couple slits in foil with a sharp knife point.

Put pan inside another pan and fill outer pan with water at least 1” deep (or nearly to top of flan pan). I do all this in the oven, otherwise it’s difficult placing the whole thing inside with the water and custard sloshing about.

Bake at 350-degrees for 1-1/4 to 1-1/2 hours, or until a butter knife inserted in the center comes out clean. The timing depends on the depth of your pan. I use a deep pan so the servings are large cubes vs. thin pie size.

Refrigerate overnight or long enough (hours) for the flan to become very cold. To unmold run a thin blade between the custard and pan to separate the sides from pan. Cover the pan with your serving dish and quickly flip over. The flan will slide down followed by the caramel sauce. Flipping is my favourite part (besides eating).

Enjoy and impress your friends!

I'd need to get some pans and stuff, right?

 

[Guest]

I'd need to get some pans and stuff, right?

Delivery
you have that phone beside the divan in your parlor...
tip your dainty fingers over the digits provided.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Creme Brulee is my favorite of favorite desserts, my ideal woman. I keep a blowtorch handy.

Creamed Burlee?

 

[neonlyte]

Best Ever Chocolate Mousse

When I see former patisserie customers around town, this is the one receipe people ask for. I gave it to my friends in Iceland a dozen or so years ago and was surprised to be greeted in Iceland last New Year as W*** of the famous Chocolate Mousse.

This mousse is better made one day ahead and sets firm enough to be sliced.

10 ounces (300gms) bitter sweet chocolate - should be 60%-72% cocoa solids for example Green & Blacks, Valhrona or similar. Don't exceed these %'s or you will be disappointed.
4 ounces (120gms) unsalted or lightly salted butter
4 large fresh eggs - seperated
2 tables spoons Caster sugar NOT icing sugar.

Break the chocolate into squares, cube butter and melt together in microwave on a low heat setting (defrost, or 2 on a 1-10 scale) It should take two minutes depending on start temps DO NOT over heat or you will seperate chocolate and butter.
Whisk to combine in large bowl.

Seperate yolks form whites, lightly whisk yolks, (pass through a fine sieve if you were unable to seperate stringly white membrane from yolk). Lightly whisk egg yolks into chocolate and butter mixture.

Use electic whisk to beat egg whites, add suger when whites are fluffy, continue to whisk until firm BUT NOT stiff, combine with chocolate, butter, egg mixture and pout into a serving dish to set.

Tips: To give the Mousse an orange flavour, mix in the zest of an orange with egg yolks.
If you want to slice the mouse, line a recangular dish with cling film pout in the mousse, leave 24 hours (covered) to set in refrigerator, tip onto a plate and remove cling film.

Delicious served with a raspberry or balckcurrnat coulis.

Enjoy.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Thanks very much Perdita, and Neonlyte too for not waiting until I posted "for the love of God POST IT!!!"

Is it too bizarre that I now have a "Lit recipes" sub-folder in amongst the recipes files?

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

once and for all.

As a one time professional baker.

For the love of god WTF is caster sugar?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

once and for all.

As a one time professional baker.

For the love of god WTF is caster sugar?

Ask, and it shall be given.

Castor or caster sugar is the name of a very fine sugar in Britain, so named because the grains are small enough to fit though a sugar "caster" or sprinkler. It is sold as "superfine" sugar in the United States. Because of its fineness, it dissolves more quickly than regular white sugar, and so is especially useful in meringues and cold liquids. It is not as fine as confectioner’s sugar, which has been crushed mechanically (and generally mixed with a little starch to keep it from clumping).

If you don’t have any castor sugar on hand, you can make your own by grinding granulated sugar for a couple of minutes in a food processor.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[BlackShanglan]

Rumple, you're terribly sexy when you talk dirty.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Rumple, you're terribly sexy when you talk dirty.

And you make me hot when you get all culinary.

Thanks, Rump. My questions hath been answered.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Carson, Shanglan, no thanks needed.

Just another fine service of,

NO HOPE ENTERPRISES

Rumple Foreskin, CES (certified eating specialist)

 

[CharleyH]

OK PEOPLE you are making me hungry. I will pull (grew up in fine dining resaurant. litterally :| dishes to . .. bastard parents) I will construct the best brulee' or creme caramel, but added features I am not responsible for, until posting. WE NEED LIT COOKBOOK I hate posting recipes I dont create, got a good cheesecake and mousse torte though

 

[The_Fool]

I am so proud of myself....copying recipes off of a "Smut" site....

Neon, thanks for the post....

Perdita....Once more you demonstrate that depth of character that drives me insane with desire......A woman with good taste that I am sure tastes just as good......

Ducking....

Luv ya....mean it....