Dating The Younger Single Man

[Honeysucklevine]

Hi folks, I need a few helpful hints on dating. No, I'm not talking "pick the girl up and drop her off at the door with a kiss" dating. I am 38 with two kids and don't have time for that! I want to find a "John Mayer" Sunday morning kind of love with all of the bells and whistles!

My questions are as follows:
1. A younger partner should not assume that the older one "always" wants to take the lead. Why is this?

2. What do younger partners expect? What do older ones want?

Older men seem to be more relaxed and allow the date to "go with the flow".

Younger men seem to be more interested in getting in my pants quickly! It's frustrating when I have to "teach" them how to slow down and enjoy the ride!

Comments?

 

[vargas111]

I think younger guys do want the older woman to be a bit more aggressive, maybe domineering is not th right word, but sowing she wants to get to the sex pronto. She should have and show she has precise ideas of what she wants, but be willing to train the younger guy to satisfy her.

Cheers

 

[ReadyOne]

The older woman is self confidant, knows what she wants, and is direct about getting it.

She can take a novice and teach him wonderful things.

She can enable an experienced guy to cut loose and give her everything she wants, over and over again.

She's been there, done that, so her younger guy doesn't have to worry about how much experience she has.

 

[Honeysucklevine]

Yea, I think they do want you to be more aggressive but I think it's a major turn on when a younger man knows how to get down and dirty!

 

[bytor2112]

we younger men want an older babe to get fucking FREAKY!!

nothing sexier than an older babe wrapping their lips around a stiff cock..... usually an older babe hasn't been fucked in a while...

so be willing to fuck them hard and come on their faces....

and don't forget to skull fuck the older babes as they probably haven't been skull fucked ina long time , if ever..

 

[wicked woman]

Generalizing here but I find younger men who enjoy older women to fall into two categories.

The first are younger younger, less experienced, that see an older woman as experienced, more comfortable with her sexuality and they're basically looking for a teacher. It seems to be sexually based.

The second are younger although they may not be young (just younger in relation to the woman) and they just like older women for who they are...they enjoy them more than younger women. The sexual side of it is a natural reflection of their interest in the woman...not the reason for the attraction.

oh and then there's the third kind for whom age isn't an issue...it's the person they're attracted to regardless of age...just that age may sometimes be older.

Personally I dislike the first kind....refuse to be the older women for them...but hey if it's your thing..be my guest.

Forgot to add...go visit the Playground...there is a thread for younger guys/older women that may interest you.

 

[Honeysucklevine]

That is so dead on! I do not like the first type that you described and those are the men I have been meeting! I did meet one that would fit into your second and third catagory and I totally agree with you, it increases their sex appeal tremendously! These guys just REALLY appreciate a womans scent, her soft skin, moods, sensuality and ability to satisfy herself. They respect it. You can tell. yummy!

 

[phoenix1224]

Well.. I've dated several 'older' women (I'm 29 and the oldest was 42... when I was 28) but, I can only speak from my own experiences.

It was kind of unspoken that those relationships wouldn't be 'long-term'... Just a 'this is really great for now' type of thing.

Personally... I really enjoyed the time that I spent with the 'older' women... Not just the sex (although that was fantastic), but also the more meaningful conversations from what I had gotten from the 'younger' women up to that point... (I say 'up to that point' because my current is seven years YOUNGER than me and we have GREAT conversations.)

What attracted ME to the 'older' women was the fact that they seem to be much more sure of themselves than the 'younger' women that I had been running into (believe it or not... confidence is as much of a turn on for us guys as it is for you ladies)... Also, the much more intellectually stimulating conversations (nothing worse than talking to an air-head for a half an hour about her $500 purse)... And, of course, the sex (there's no bigger turn on than a woman who knows what she wants in bed... and isn't afraid to ask for it).

I would suggest that if you're going to go for the 'younger' guys... and it really ISN'T just about sex (although, the 'younger' guys are likely to be much more open about the 'kinky' stuff)... Go for the more cerebral guys... Go for an artist, a musician, a poet, etc. instead of the 'macho' guys that will hit on anything in a skirt... You'll be much more likely to find what you're looking for.

Just enjoy yourself while you're looking for what you want.

And don't worry about being perceived as a 'perv'... The whole 'older woman/younger man' thing has become much more socially acceptable... More so than it was even just a few years ago. Besides... It's ALWAYS great to know that someone finds you attractive.

I hope I've been helpful...

 

[vargas111]

I think the cool things about the older woman/younger guy are

1. If she's willing to be unconventionalabout age, maybe she's unconventional about other things, more adventurous.

2. Maybe she's really horny and guys her age can't give ner enough sex.

3. Maybe she is ready to start making up for lost time and have babies.



Cheers

 

[Honeysucklevine]

I am talking 35 and older here. Let me reiterate this.

Oh, and no babies! Older women, at least the ones I know here is the U.S., definetly do NOT want to get down and dirty so we can make a baby. But hey, we all have our opinions right? That's what this is all about.

 

[manofsteel52]

I think going for the more "cerebral" type is a good idea. Now, I must face the fact that many of these hot younger men may not only want me for my body and brains. They may actually be thinking that since I am older, I am not "getting any or getting enough" sex! On the contrary. I have to turn many away!

Yes, I do agree that we older women may be more likely to experiment into another dimension of sexuality. In other words, increasing the kink level to new heights!

Once again, you guys and gals, have opened my mind, even though I do not like the truth at times. I will leave it at that!

If there are any younger men who happen to adore a woman who just happens to be older, let me know.

1. Did you want her only because you thought you would get laid in a better way?....or

2. Did you fall for her because of the whole package?

Let's not forget that mutual attraction is a given here.

I never dated a woman older than myself, hell, nobody's older than me!
In reality, age was never an issue. I've been very attracted to women friends who were older than me, but just never got around to the sex part. that was only because I'm married and wasn't about to cheat with them, but had I been single,w ell, there would have been some serious fireworks.

 

[ReadyOne]

Many years back I fell for a couple of older women (10-15 yrs older), but for various reasons didn't "go for it" with them. I found out later they were ready, willing, and waiting for me.

 

[phoenix1224]

1. Did you want her only because you thought you would get laid in a better way?....or

2. Did you fall for her because of the whole package?

A little bit of both actually.

I've found that the more sexually experienced the woman, the better she is in bed... (Although I've ALSO found that a less experienced woman can ALSO be fantastic, if she's done her homework by reading and asking questions about sex... like on Lit... )... And I'm assuming that an 'older' woman WOULD be more sexually experienced.

But, I also liked them for THEM... Their personalities... Their intelligence... Their sense of humor... Their way of looking at the world... Their seeming to be much more accepting of a person's flaws... Etc.

But you have to know that I've NEVER been with with a woman based SOLELY on physical attraction (older or younger)... I know that some guys can... But not me...

 

[vargas111]

I guess the point is, men want a woman who is very experineced and who wants lots of sex. It takes a few years to develop this perfect combinacion so the "older woman" has a certain advantage.

 

[Honeysucklevine]

Soooo, true about accepting the flaws. In my twenties, I was so picky about the little things. Now, those little flaws are usually seen as cute and no biggie. I have one more question and it's a doozie!

1. Is there a noticable difference between older women who have had children and those who haven't? Has anyone noticed a major physical difference? What about an emotional difference?

Just trying to figure out we mid-thirty soccer moms measure up!

 

[phoenix1224]

Soooo, true about accepting the flaws. In my twenties, I was so picky about the little things. Now, those little flaws are usually seen as cute and no biggie. I have one more question and it's a doozie!

1. Is there a noticable difference between older women who have had children and those who haven't? Has anyone noticed a major physical difference? What about an emotional difference?

Just trying to figure out we mid-thirty soccer moms measure up!

The only physical difference that I've noticed is, of course, the stretch marks on the stomach... Which is no big deal...

As for the emotional differences... I'd say that MOST women with children are much more emotionally mature (older AND younger)... But not ALL... I think it's the huge responsibility that does it...

 

[Honeysucklevine]

I was lucky I guess because there are no stretch marks on this body!

 

[phoenix1224]

I was lucky I guess because there are no stretch marks on this body!

Good for you...

 

[Mr & Mrs B]

Younger mans view

Mr B---
Well i can say i am am both a fan of the older woman and a lover of a very sexy one too!!
I can see what people are on about with the whole sex thing with an older woman, but in the same light sometimes older women have hang ups about their bodies, thing heading south etc!!! Well if you are trully a lover of them then you will find this such a turn on aswell!! Stretch marks included!
I can definately say that older women have a high sex drive too, and its fantastic!!

Mrs B---
Well quite a glowing reference there *l*, but as a very lucky woman with an incredibly sexy partner over 6 years younger I can say its great.
Having not been in a relationship with a younger man before I thought I would be very self consious and infact have found another level of sexyness.Perhaps as you get older you just get more honest with what you want and desire sexually and in general.

either way we BOTH think its great!!

 

[lincoln1977]

I am dating a girl who is older than I am by two years. Our conversations have been more meaningful and the best part is she dispenses with the bs and tells me what she wants upfront. I have certain wants as well but she wants loyalty and none of that bs. I am happy to oblige. Its refreshing. I mean younger woman arent bad but finding a mature woman is a bit more difficult. Older woman are like a fine wine thats well aged and gets only better with age.

 

[frisky]

It's definately a maturity related issue. There's just something about being able to converse with someone (possibly) more wise than yourself given their longer time spent on this planet. You can learn a lot from them, however given the usual stigma attached with such a coupling it is very difficult to find someone like this.

On the flip side, the elder of the two can gain new perspectives into life from the person they share their time with. Then of course there is the raw energy associated with youth.

Hopefully I will experience this one day.

 

[zhukov1943]

Just avoid being thesole "moderating" influence in the relationship - I used to date a woman who was almost ten years older than me, but I quit going out with her because she kept "mommy-ing" me:

"That's your third beer? You have to work tomorrow, right?"

"You're going to wear THAT to the restaurant?"

"You're not going to watch football all day long, are you?"

It got old FAST...

 

[Brainboyz]

Just avoid being thesole "moderating" influence in the relationship - I used to date a woman who was almost ten years older than me, but I quit going out with her because she kept "mommy-ing" me:

"That's your third beer? You have to work tomorrow, right?"

"You're going to wear THAT to the restaurant?"

"You're not going to watch football all day long, are you?"

It got old FAST...

It isn't just the older women that do that!

 

[Honeysucklevine]

So true, sounds like she was into major nagging! Young women can nag just as well as older women. They learned it from their mothers, a nasty little gift handed down from generations before!

 

[Tokan]

I think going for the more "cerebral" type is a good idea. Now, I must face the fact that many of these hot younger men may not only want me for my body and brains. They may actually be thinking that since I am older, I am not "getting any or getting enough" sex! On the contrary. I have to turn many away!

Yes, I do agree that we older women may be more likely to experiment into another dimension of sexuality. In other words, increasing the kink level to new heights!

Once again, you guys and gals, have opened my mind, even though I do not like the truth at times. I will leave it at that!

If there are any younger men who happen to adore a woman who just happens to be older, let me know.

1. Did you want her only because you thought you would get laid in a better way?....or

2. Did you fall for her because of the whole package?

Let's not forget that mutual attraction is a given here.

I'll answer the questions first, then comment on the first portion.

Both. Well, not exactly number 1, but meaning that at times it has been for the whole package, and for other times it has been because of this... -incredible- sexual appeal just ooozing from her aura that has me suddenly alive. Several older women I've met have that, and it can be challenging for me to deny advances, especially if I suspect they have some baggage or their motives are something beyond no-strings sex or an honest relationship.

If I suspect an older woman can respect the cerebral, and will even tease back in a sophisticated manner.. that is an -extremely- powerful way of lighting my fire. It can be challenging finding women who do that. As far as babying people go, it's an extreme turn-off. I rarely give those individuals, platonic or sexual, enough time to finish a rant before they're left talking to a wall.

Completely liberated womyn who act and choose what they want and -decide- to enjoy themselves and open the possibilities.. those are what I can enjoy. I love mirrors! I like getting the chance to take a woman to ever rising heights of pleasure.

~ Tokan