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Dear Clowns

IhateClowns said:
Dear up and down,

I highly suggest you buy some flippers or at least waders and keep them close by at night. You see trying to get a man to leave the seat down is going against every bit of masculine nature we have inside us. We are meant for two things in this world. Spreading our seat and leaving the seat up.

.
Click to expand...


dear face paint paranoid,

WTF? why do women think the toilet seat only works one way? when us men go to sit and take a dump, we ALWAYS check to see if the seat is down. women don't. WTF?
 
Dear IHC

I really have a phobia w/ clowns I hate them...they creep me the hell out - if you hate clowns as your user name suggests...why is there an AV of a clown?

Sincerely Creeped out by clowns (but not you :eek: )
 
dear clowns,
do you think there's such a thing as masturbating too much?
furry palmed and blind in one eye
 
Dear Clowns,

Should I be concerned about the number of Lit posts I have 'clocked up'?

I get a fright from the stats for my total posts and posts per day...I can't possibly have wasted that much of my life on Lit, can I?

Are these a barometer, and if so for what?

Yours,
Searching for the meaning
 
ivantheterrible said:
dear face paint paranoid,

WTF? why do women think the toilet seat only works one way? when us men go to sit and take a dump, we ALWAYS check to see if the seat is down. women don't. WTF?
Click to expand...

Dear WTF,

Bottomline is women are lazy. Have you not been with a woman lately? They assume everything. That way when their assumption is wrong that gives them the opportunity to jump our shit. Since women have no reason to put the seat up unless they are scraping away pubes we left behind on the seat, they will always assume the seat will be left down. No matter how many times they have had their pussy bob for apples when they realize the seat is up.

I haven't dipped my balls in toilet water in a very long time and when I did I screamed like a 12 year old cheerleader. Since they I NEVER assume anything. Even when drunk I mak sure the toilet seat is down before I puke. Only because I want my face as far away from the bowl as possible.

Women you hover on porta potties. You dunk your twat every other time you sit down on the commode. My suggestion is 2 fold. Teach your man to sit down everytime he pees, or buy some waders.

Good luck
 
Sensualdreamer said:
Dear IHC

I really have a phobia w/ clowns I hate them...they creep me the hell out - if you hate clowns as your user name suggests...why is there an AV of a clown?

Sincerely Creeped out by clowns (but not you :eek: )
Click to expand...

Not sure if this av is any better but will give it a shot. I hate clowns as well and by the suggestion o my psycho-therapist, I decided to try aversion therapy. Problem is everytime I saw myself on hear I tinkled just little bit. Plus I can't type for shit and my eyes were tightly shut everytime I tried to. I appreciate the medication she has given me but clowns still suck...
 
availableslave2u said:
dear clowns,
do you think there's such a thing as masturbating too much?
furry palmed and blind in one eye
Click to expand...

Dear mutant,

Welcome to the I masturbate all day while people are watching thread. You are not alone. Know those fuzzy bigfoot shots that have been taken over the years? Chronic Masturbator. You are not alone. Problem is there is no cure for this condition.

Thing I would be careful of is making sure you use both arms equally. The popeye forearm look in just one arm is not attractive. Also buy batteries at Sam's Club. Bulk rate tends to be much cheaper.

Speaking of which I bought tissue from Sam's a long time ago because I masturbated so much. I figured everyone uses TP to clean up. What a fucking crock. I would blow a load and use 30 tissus to clean up. Then would have to daintely pick up the tissue as to not get any on my fingers and toss them away. Then spend the next 6 hours peeling tissue off the head of my cock and shaft. What a fucking mess. Fellas just use your wife's t-shirt if you are married, it lets her know you don't get sex enough and have to resort to jerking it to 2 minute clipped porn....
 
lolaluscious said:
Dear Clowns,

Should I be concerned about the number of Lit posts I have 'clocked up'?

I get a fright from the stats for my total posts and posts per day...I can't possibly have wasted that much of my life on Lit, can I?

Are these a barometer, and if so for what?

Yours,
Searching for the meaning
Click to expand...

First off lovely new av..:)

As for the number of posts you have, you should have no worries at all. There are folks with 50k plus posts. It is a badge of honor to have a tremendous amount of posts. It shows they have way more nothing to do than yourself. Not sure that sentence was proper but it is early.

So post away and have no guilt doing so. Look at it as a badge of honor and you won't ever feel guilty about it....
 
IhateClowns said:
First off lovely new av..:)

As for the number of posts you have, you should have no worries at all. There are folks with 50k plus posts. It is a badge of honor to have a tremendous amount of posts. It shows they have way more nothing to do than yourself. Not sure that sentence was proper but it is early.

So post away and have no guilt doing so. Look at it as a badge of honor and you won't ever feel guilty about it....
Click to expand...

:eek: are you talking about me? *tries to find out how to decrease the number of posts* hmm....maybe if i post backwards?
 
IhateClowns said:
Dear mutant,

Welcome to the I masturbate all day while people are watching thread. You are not alone. Know those fuzzy bigfoot shots that have been taken over the years? Chronic Masturbator. You are not alone. Problem is there is no cure for this condition.

Thing I would be careful of is making sure you use both arms equally. The popeye forearm look in just one arm is not attractive. Also buy batteries at Sam's Club. Bulk rate tends to be much cheaper.

Speaking of which I bought tissue from Sam's a long time ago because I masturbated so much. I figured everyone uses TP to clean up. What a fucking crock. I would blow a load and use 30 tissus to clean up. Then would have to daintely pick up the tissue as to not get any on my fingers and toss them away. Then spend the next 6 hours peeling tissue off the head of my cock and shaft. What a fucking mess. Fellas just use your wife's t-shirt if you are married, it lets her know you don't get sex enough and have to resort to jerking it to 2 minute clipped porn....
Click to expand...

i was asking for a friend :p
 
IhateClowns said:
First off lovely new av..:)

As for the number of posts you have, you should have no worries at all. There are folks with 50k plus posts. It is a badge of honor to have a tremendous amount of posts. It shows they have way more nothing to do than yourself. Not sure that sentence was proper but it is early.

So post away and have no guilt doing so. Look at it as a badge of honor and you won't ever feel guilty about it....
Click to expand...

I'm glad you like the new av. I was going for tasteful not slutty, and then I realised the freedom of blocked PMs with an 'allowed' list (thanks for that tip) so I went for what I felt like... :)

I didn't know there was a posting badge, and that I would have to fight AS2U for it... I have a lot of catching up to do and don't think I'll sleep for thenext few weeks/ months. I think I'll go for multiple word games - they rack the posts up quicker than anything.

BTW... I like your av too - an oldie but still the best. :)
 
lolaluscious said:
I'm glad you like the new av. I was going for tasteful not slutty, and then I realised the freedom of blocked PMs with an 'allowed' list (thanks for that tip) so I went for what I felt like... :)

I didn't know there was a posting badge, and that I would have to fight AS2U for it... I have a lot of catching up to do and don't think I'll sleep for thenext few weeks/ months. I think I'll go for multiple word games - they rack the posts up quicker than anything.

BTW... I like your av too - an oldie but still the best. :)
Click to expand...

shhh....i'm trying not to notice my post count. :eek:
 
lolaluscious said:
I'm glad you like the new av. I was going for tasteful not slutty, and then I realised the freedom of blocked PMs with an 'allowed' list (thanks for that tip) so I went for what I felt like... :)

I didn't know there was a posting badge, and that I would have to fight AS2U for it... I have a lot of catching up to do and don't think I'll sleep for thenext few weeks/ months. I think I'll go for multiple word games - they rack the posts up quicker than anything.

BTW... I like your av too - an oldie but still the best. :)
Click to expand...

Are you calling me old?? I was carded for buying beer just 10 years ago damn it!!!!
 
Dear IHC:

I love getting to know people, and making new friends, thus for me IM is a nifty little program. It seems that regardless of my IM status (invisible usually, or busy) that there will always be people that IM me...which I don't mind, but it gets to the point that there have been as many as 6+ chat screens open, and even if I let these people know I'm chatting w/ someone else already, they still keep on trying to chat w/ me -even after I've dropped the old "TTYL" -in the hopes they get the hint. I really don't like to ignore people... but what would you suggest I do, so that I can keep my fingers attached?

In the realm of Yahoo... Buzz! :D
 
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