Did I do the right thing?

[Cirrus]

I could use a few opinions on this one if you have a second.

There's someone I met on the boards, he'll recognize himself if he reads this, that I started talking to by PM and e-mail. It's out of character for me to do that because I got burned really bad by someone when I first started going online. But this guy seemed different.

I wasn't planning on starting a romance with him, just a friendship. That was his intentions too, since he's attached and I'm interested in someone else, plus I'm not doing the 'net romance thing ever again. He asked for my ICQ # and I gave it to him. Lo and behold, his ICQ used a different last name than the one he had given me. I asked him about it and he said that he changed it on his e-mail account to stop e-mail harrassment. Most e-mail services, including web based ones, which he uses (not at Lit, somewhere else) have a block user function, don't they? So messages you don't want get automatically put in the trash....

I have a hard time buying that story, but I realize too that my view might be colored by my past experiences.

So do you think I should listen to my gut or give him another chance?

 

[Harpoon]

Better safe than sorry, but it sounds like you learned that already.
I put a lot of stock in gut feelings they are usually right.

Good luck on this one its a tough one

 

[Bluenose]

Just take it slow and easy hon, because i know there are some great people out there and i know I was lucky that I found the best one out there.


That is the Love of my life- Shylady Love you baby

 

[willywanker]

Don't fight your gut feelings to hard but I have different names on a couple of accounts just to hide a little. I have some parts of my life I had been trying to keep apart.

Of course, now that I posted my pic on the Take advantage of the upload feature, that may now work anymore.

Just a thought, but like I said to start, do not fight gut feelings that something is wrong.

 

[Texan]

In my opinion

Opinions are usually worth about what they cost........ and here's a free opinion.....

If you are investing enough emotion into an "online" relationship that it even matters what his last name is, then you are over investing.

My guess is, that for every online romance that acutally works out, there are a few hundred that don't stand a chance in hell. When you think about it, the odds are probaly this bad with romances that start in bars or even school cafeterias.

You said he is "attached". That information alone should give you great reason to hold onto your heart. If he is enjoyable to talk with, keep talking. If he is trying to get you to "care deeply" about him in a romantic way, be very very careful.

I have always wondered how it is possible for someone to "fall" for another person, without being able to look into their eyes.

Good luck...

 

[Andra_Jenny]

Many of has have good reason to hide a few things...

But you seem to have gotten pretty far down the road to discover deceit...

and that is just something that can never go away...

 

[Cirrus]

Texan and Andra: I'm not worried about my heart in this particular case. I haven't been talking to him long, about 3 weeks, maybe a month, and all I truly would have wanted was a friendship. But, in any friendship, even one that's just developing, there's some feeling involved. I haven't invested much of that here in such a short time, so it's really not a big deal as far as I'm concerned, what I'm worried about is making the wrong decision or jumping to a conclusion and hurting his feelings if he really was telling the truth. That's why I asked. OTOH, I got sucked in once and don't want it to happen again.

 

[Andra_Jenny]

good job,

be patient...

 

[Blackbich]

I say trust your gut. There's too many times when people don't do that and wind up in a worse situation. What is your gut - not your head, not your heart - saying?

I have different e-mail names and put different names on each one, mostly for personal protection.

I think you're doing right to take it slow, especially if he's attached. Unless your gut is telling you something different, I'd be tempted to chalk it up to what he said. If you find he's lied about something else in the future - dump him. Life is too short to deal with people who'll lie to you.

 

[Cheyenne]

Re: In my opinion

I have always wondered how it is possible for someone to "fall" for another person, without being able to look into their eyes.

It is possible. And it will surprise you when it happens. It did me.