Bob Peale
angeli ribelli
- Joined
- Sep 4, 1999
- Posts
- 10,535
Most Horrible Drink
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afgan tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm "very recently obtained" bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
Most Offensive Cocktail
This is from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a Cunt Pump.
Greatest Distance Attained For A Jet Of Semen
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a "substantial" amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the record for the greatest height (12 ft 4 in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7 mph.
Longest Turd
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a "staggering turd" over a period of 2 hr 12 minutes which was officially measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.
Most Prolonged Fart
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 minutes 42 seconds.
Longest Booger
The longest dried booger trail was found under a table at a well-known public school. It was measured at 26 2/3 inches long.
Most Semen Swallowed
Michelle Monaghan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
Longest Pubes
Maoni Vi of Los Angeles has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her minge.
Most Cavernous Crotch
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.
Zit Popping
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7 ft 1 inch.
Smelliest Feet
On Aug 21 1991, Wanda Lake, 18, removed her shoes in the crowded lobby of a Los Angeles theatre. In the five minutes that followed, the lobby was a chaotic mass of panic-stricken people trying desperately to escape. In the end, 42 people were sick, and 14 others had passed out.
Longest Underarm Hair
On July 15 1992, the hair growing out of the left armpit of Florence Floss of Ban, Idaho, stretched to a length of 34 inches. This was more than enough for a record, but Florence hopes to have a yard of hair dangling from her armpit soon. "I shave the other armpit," Florence reported.
Hairiest Tongue
The Tongue of Selma Ruby of Dallas is fully covered with hair (1992). "I've been thinking about having it removed by an electrolysist," Selma told, "though lately people have been telling me that it's beautiful."
Continuously Worn Socks
Andy Schwartz, of Glen Ridge, NJ, claimed the record in 1989. In a sworn statement, Andy's wife declared that he had worn the same socks every day for twenty years and 114 days. In 1983, shoe stores throughout New Jersey banned Andy from their premises. Since then he has purchased his shoes through the mail. Andy plans to remove the socks and take a look at his feet in 1999.
Most Stuffed Nose
In a contest held on May 1 1986, Hans Kleiber of West Berlin managed to stuff 13 ounces of limburger into his nostrils in less than a minute. Hans' closest competitor gagged on nine ounces and was disqualified.
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afgan tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm "very recently obtained" bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
Most Offensive Cocktail
This is from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a Cunt Pump.
Greatest Distance Attained For A Jet Of Semen
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a "substantial" amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the record for the greatest height (12 ft 4 in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7 mph.
Longest Turd
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a "staggering turd" over a period of 2 hr 12 minutes which was officially measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.
Most Prolonged Fart
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 minutes 42 seconds.
Longest Booger
The longest dried booger trail was found under a table at a well-known public school. It was measured at 26 2/3 inches long.
Most Semen Swallowed
Michelle Monaghan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
Longest Pubes
Maoni Vi of Los Angeles has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her minge.
Most Cavernous Crotch
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.
Zit Popping
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7 ft 1 inch.
Smelliest Feet
On Aug 21 1991, Wanda Lake, 18, removed her shoes in the crowded lobby of a Los Angeles theatre. In the five minutes that followed, the lobby was a chaotic mass of panic-stricken people trying desperately to escape. In the end, 42 people were sick, and 14 others had passed out.
Longest Underarm Hair
On July 15 1992, the hair growing out of the left armpit of Florence Floss of Ban, Idaho, stretched to a length of 34 inches. This was more than enough for a record, but Florence hopes to have a yard of hair dangling from her armpit soon. "I shave the other armpit," Florence reported.
Hairiest Tongue
The Tongue of Selma Ruby of Dallas is fully covered with hair (1992). "I've been thinking about having it removed by an electrolysist," Selma told, "though lately people have been telling me that it's beautiful."
Continuously Worn Socks
Andy Schwartz, of Glen Ridge, NJ, claimed the record in 1989. In a sworn statement, Andy's wife declared that he had worn the same socks every day for twenty years and 114 days. In 1983, shoe stores throughout New Jersey banned Andy from their premises. Since then he has purchased his shoes through the mail. Andy plans to remove the socks and take a look at his feet in 1999.
Most Stuffed Nose
In a contest held on May 1 1986, Hans Kleiber of West Berlin managed to stuff 13 ounces of limburger into his nostrils in less than a minute. Hans' closest competitor gagged on nine ounces and was disqualified.
