doggie style harness?

[rosebud5446]

http://www.discreet-romance.com/fetish-fantasy-doggie-harness-adult-sex-toys-31136.html

looks like fun. Would you reccomend one? My boyfriend's birthday is coming up, and I thought that aside from his regular present, I would get something naughty to wear, some light bondage accessories (handcuffs, ect...), lubricant, ect... This looksl like fun. Does anyone else have any suggestions?

 

[SweetErika]

Seems like you could do the same thing with a towel, scarf or similar longer piece of material that provides some padding. Grabbing the hips can work, too. You might try those things before you buy something that may be used once or twice, than go by the wayside.

I'd advise against handcuffs. You'd likely be better off with padded wrist (and/or ankle) cuffs, preferably in leather, if you know you like that type of bondage. The novelty handcuffs are usually very cheaply made and can be uncomfortable. Unpadded handcuffs don't spread the strain over a large enough area and can cause nerve and soft tissue damage. Cuffs that aren't connected are far more versatile in terms of positions and comfort, too.

If you don't know you like bondage, experiment with scarves and/or soft nylon rope (available in any hardware store) before investing in bondage gear. You can learn simple cuffs and knots on sites like THIS. Similarly, scarves and such work fine for blindfolds (some do not like them...it's a personal thing), or sleep masks can be purchased inexpensively at many stores in the spa or pajama section, especially around this time of year. Just make sure you don't use anything you're not willing to destroy in an emergency, and have paramedic/safety shears on hand in case you need to get out quickly.

 

[mtdan]

We have one.. it works great. nothing wrong with a towel but the harness is easyer to hold onto!! I would buy one again.. we also have the leather cuffs that Erica mentioned.. the only way to go.. the metal cuffs are no fun after about a minute.


Erica .... What would you have to distroy in an emergency?? dont understand..

 

[elib257]

Erica .... What would you have to distroy in an emergency?? dont understand..

I think she means if it happens to go wrong and you can't find any other way out than to cut it sort of thing. I was going comment and say it was a very good idea, so here - Erika, that's a very good comment to keep in mind.

 

[mtdan]

OK.... point taken.

 

[SweetErika]

I think she means if it happens to go wrong and you can't find any other way out than to cut it sort of thing. I was going comment and say it was a very good idea, so here - Erika, that's a very good comment to keep in mind.

Correct. Using valuable scarves, or anything else for bondage that you're unwilling to cut in an emergency, is unwise. We used to use some of my mother-in-law's scarves, but they have sentimental value so we switched to rope, which is cheap and plentiful enough that we never have to worry about cutting it.

I don't doubt the "harness" works, I'm just likely to see if we'll actually like and use something before buying it. We like the intimacy of holding the hips, anyway, so it's probably something that'd be put in our toy box and forget about. But that's us.

 

[rosebud5446]

I like it when he holds my hips too, but I think he (and I!) would like having handles to hold onto and... basically fucking the hell out of me. I don't think it is something that will be used everytime we have sex or anything, but I think it will get enough use to where it will be worth the $10 that it costs. Not to mention the fact that when he opens a goodie bag/box/whatever, he'll imediately know what it is, and I'm pretty sure I can guess the expression on his face.

Thanks for the leather handcuff suggestion, that will save me some scrapes and pain. (I know it's bondage, but that just sounds painful, not to mention having to wear long sleves for a while). Do they need to be leather, or is there another material that would be acceptable (I think I saw some nylon something or other, or the fuzzy cuffs? there were some rope ones too...)

Are there any other suggestions for accessories for a night of hot sex? Male POV appreciated as well. It is for him afterall.

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for the leather handcuff suggestion, that will save me some scrapes and pain. (I know it's bondage, but that just sounds painful, not to mention having to wear long sleves for a while). Do they need to be leather, or is there another material that would be acceptable (I think I saw some nylon something or other, or the fuzzy cuffs? there were some rope ones too...)

Are there any other suggestions for accessories for a night of hot sex? Male POV appreciated as well. It is for him afterall.

You could make up some personalized coupons for different acts, or even a game. IIRC, you don't have a ton of cash, and he'd likely appreciate the personal approach.

The benefit of lined leather cuffs is that they're very strong and will last forever if you take care of them. We actually got some lambswool-like lined, heavy-duty leather cuffs at a kinky yard sale for $10, and they've been really fantastic. Plus, leather is a lot sexier than nylon/backpack material, IMO.

You can do nylon, but make sure the soft lining extends beyond the edges so the nylon doesn't cut into you, and I'd personally avoid anything with plastic buckles or rings because they're likely to break over time.

You can actually make your own cuffs out of the heavy-duty (~2", IIRC) velcro you find in hardware stores/Home Depot, too. It's sticky on one side, and you just cut lengths about twice the size of the wrist or ankle, stick the hook and loop sides together, back to back, and then you can wrap them around the wrist with the loop side on the skin. You can either sew or figure out how to stick D-rings or small carabiner/clips to them, and you're ready to go.

Since you're in farm country, look for suitable restraints at your local tack shop(s). There are often neoprene restraints and other really good "pervertibles" that are made to keep animals in place during grooming and such. We've had a lot of fun finding things that can be used to produce different sensations in tack and other regular shops, too.

Before you go through all of that or buy anything, definitely try making the rope cuffs shown on the link I put in my first post. You need about 12+ feet of rope (depending on how far the tie point is from the wrist/ankle) for each limb, and then you just double the length, and wrap it around like the instructions and photos show. Soft rope is unlikely to hurt the skin unless one really twists around (you can always wrap something soft around the skin first, too, provided it's not too thick), it's sexy, cheap and quick. If you just have a bed frame, you can tie each length to the legs of the bed.

Then, if you like that, you can look into making or buying cuffs for ease. If you really like it, you'll probably want to invest in some leather cuffs, knowing you'll break or outgrow the cheap nylon ones. For quality leather cuffs, look on eBay and fetish/kink auction websites. I've actually found some really great BDSM gear for a steal on eBay by browsing periodically.

 

[lettinggo]

This doesn't really help you with birthday gift ideas, but I prefer when he grabs my wrists when I'm in that position. Handles for him, helplessness for me.

 

[aimouse]

(Male POV) Rather than getting him something, you could always get something for yourself ...
- eg something horny for you to wear
- let him watch you play with a new vibrator
- (continuing on from the bondage theme) tie him up and make him watch you play with a new vibrator
- get him to tie you up and play with your new vibrator
- (am I fixated?)
- go out for a birthday meal and as you get your first course, tell him you not wearing knickers. All through the meal, keep telling him what you want to do / him to when you get home. If you make it through the rest of the meal he should be in the mood by the time you get home.
- get him a threesome for his birthday
... I could go on ...

 

[adabbaduli]

I'd like it, seems like fun.