Dominant Bottoms?

[BiTanya1972]

U r still the dom U r telling the sub what to do and what U want U r still n control I think if I read u right It would be dif If u said sub U do what U want Then u r given up control and be the sub

 

[infinity706]

I bottom quite a bit and I spend quite a bit of time dominating as well. Of course, I also top quite a bit and submit on the rare occasion I get the opportunity. What I do really depends on who my partner(s) is.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

U r still the dom U r telling the sub what to do and what U want U r still n control I think if I read u right It would be dif If u said sub U do what U want Then u r given up control and be the sub

This is the way we play. As long as the top tells-asks-orders you to top, you are still the bottom.

Theoretically at least, because you are the one who trained the top to let ya bottom. So who really controls? (Tee-Hee-Hee)

The life of the influential sub

 

[Samuelx]

I am a bottom, and wouldn't really consider myself either dominant nor submissive. I can be either if that is how we are playing.

But usually with either one or more other guys, I very much like to keep one of them in my ass, so will take control of the play if the other guy(s) are slow to fuck me.

topher

Whether someone is dominant or submissive is a matter of personality. It doesn't matter what they do in bed.

 

[Etoile]

Whether someone is dominant or submissive is a matter of personality. It doesn't matter what they do in bed.

Uh...what? Yes, it is a matter of personality, but it ALSO matters what they do in bed.

 

[sunandshadow]

Uh...what? Yes, it is a matter of personality, but it ALSO matters what they do in bed.

No, honestly it doesn't. Dominance is enacted through controlling the partner's sexual experience, making rules, and giving, orders, but all of that can be easily done by someone whose favorite sexual activity is getting a cock up their ass. I've seen a dozen stories where the 'topping' partner has been told he will be punished if he comes before being given permission, then teased mercilessly by the dominant riding cowboy. Or the sub is bound and/or blindfolded and/or gagged, maybe a coc ring is put on them so they can't come, while the dominant teases them by riding them until the dom orgasms but the sub is left whimpering and begging to be finished off. Or the 'bottoming' partner is shouting demands/insults and clawing while the 'topping' partner is saying "yes dear, anything you want love..."

 

[infinity706]

Uh...what? Yes, it is a matter of personality, but it ALSO matters what they do in bed.

Well, typically, you'd be right, but not always. The dominant partner could order the submissive one to do something to them. I've done plenty of dominating, but I wouldn't have any problem telling a sub to spank me, fuck me, or anything else subs typically do. I've even told a sub to gag me with his cock before. Sure, it raises quite a few eyebrows, but I've found it's an interesting way to push a sub's limits a bit. Sometimes, it's fun to just take all the unwritten rules and throw them out the window.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Agreed. I do get tired of the notion that a dominant must never be penetrated-- where's the fun in that?

It reminds me a lot of the stone butch paradigm, where a truly butch woman never unstraps, never lets her partner enter her-- which means no G-spot orgasms-- such a stupid thing, to deny oneself of so much pleasure-- never loses control.

I'm seeing a lot of my BDSM and queer friends rethinking all of these notions.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

My opinion only, and my feeling . . . only. I like the sex of being controlled, ordered, commanded. To me it is relaxing and satisfying, very few decisions. I top, but prefer the bottom. I top because I am told to, ordered to, and my girl (not a true Mistress) does it because I like it. In life we are pretty much equals at most things, yet I do take on the more feminine role. She opens the door, pulls out the chair, mows the grass. fixes the leaky faucet, (thank God) pays the bills. I iron, make the breakfast, clean the house. I even pack when she wants me to play boy and when we go out. She does that role more often. It's fun both ways. Am I a true sub? IDK, but this works for us in a sexual and relationship sense.

Maybe I'm just horny, and like variety and spice during sex. Different is good.

I taught her to Mistress because I like it. I love it at night when she smothers me and I suckle her. When she spoons me, completely engulfing me in her arms. Definitions don't always apply, and I do not think there are fast and tight rules at this sort of thing.

Espie

*Pedi at 6:00*

 

[Etoile]

I never said anything about penetration, topping, or bottoming. I said that D/s is more than personality traits, it's sexual interaction as well.

 

[nofaceinthemirror]

Xxxxxxx

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

I never said anything about penetration, topping, or bottoming. I said that D/s is more than personality traits, it's sexual interaction as well.

Sorry, that alts for stories. I agree Etoile.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I never said anything about penetration, topping, or bottoming. I said that D/s is more than personality traits, it's sexual interaction as well.

Well, I should hope so!

tangent, but I don't 'get' BDSM minus sexual interaction, do you?

 

[Etoile]

Well, I should hope so!

tangent, but I don't 'get' BDSM minus sexual interaction, do you?

I know people who do BDSM far outside the sexual realm - that is, in EVERY aspect of their lives, very Victorian - but even that has sexual interaction. I think it's a natural part of life...if you are D/s outside the bedroom, you're not going to be equals IN the bedroom!

 

[Chrissi]

Some people like to play at sex too. Being dominant or submissive can be a lifestyle and a personality, but it certainly doesn't have to be so, nor does it have to be exclusive.

With some guys, I very much like to give up control, with others I like to take charge, with others, it's a free for all. I am very much a bottom.