Everybody Loves Raymond

[sweetnpetite]

"hello debra"

Debra has a dream about Robert, its driving her crazy and she somehow lets it slip to Frank, without explicit detail or anything and says that she's feeling weird about it, and please don't say anything. Frank makes some crack to robert who then says "what's that supposed to mean" and hounds his father until he tells him. then he gets all washed up and in nice clothes and decided to pay a visit to his brothers wife while Raymond is out of town. He starts acting all suave and Debra asks him what is going on "Everybody loves Raymond," he laments. "I think its about time that somebody loves Robert." Debra edges toward the door. "Come on over here and show your brother in law a little love' Robert sais, pawing at Debra. "Robert no, get off-" she starts to say, but then he kisses her, and she is stunned. Big tall man that he is, he lifts her off her feet and carries her all the way upstairs to the bedroom. He puts her down on the bed and starts to unbutton her shirt, while she continues to object. He removes her shirt and handcuffs her to the bed. Then he removes her pants and starts to eat her out. Her objectons are silenced as he is unbelievably good at pleasuring a woman with his toungue. She moans with pleasure and pulls against her cuffs. She can't believe that this feels so good, thinking how wrong it is, only makes it better. Robert comes up to her, his lips wet with her juices. "Are you ready for BIG BOB?" She is out of breath, she stares at him, panting, considering what she is about to do. "Ray can never know about this" she sais, sucking her own juices from his lips as he plunges into her. As he fucks her she calls out "Give it to me big Bob!" And he pulls out to come all over her face. He then scoops it all into her mouth, feeding it to her, and she sucks it all off his fingers- every last drop. When she finishes, he unlocks her from the cuffs and lets her know that he expects to have her anytime she wishes or Ray will find out and she'll be served with devorce papers faster than she can say, "Everybody loves Raymond!"




What do you think?

 

[sweetnpetite]

does anyone have an oppinoin on my scinario? (SP, I know)

 

[HandsomeHunk]

Sweetnpetite.....I really like your story idea.....Deborah comes off as such a bitch at times...that I like the handcuffs part. Good writting.

HandsomeHunk

 

[sweetnpetite]

Sweetnpetite.....I really like your story idea.....Deborah comes off as such a bitch at times...that I like the handcuffs part. Good writting.

HandsomeHunk

thank you. I was thinking that he's a cop, so he'd have the handcuffs handy. Probably shoulda had him in uniform. I can here her saying "Robert why are you in your uniform, isn't it your day off? and he's leaning in the doorway saying "some woman are really turned on by a man in uniform" (maybe that was what her dream was about) I tried to work in the way the characters act and speek and who they are, so you almost imagine that they could really make an episode like that. (for cable, lol)

 

[aka_khan]

i like you idea ... actually i like both the main ideas very much it would be sweet if someone made a story for both i really like both ideas... hope someone writes it.

 

[sweetnpetite]

bump

what happened to this thread? am I the "thread killa"??

 

[Guest]

Seeing as how aka_khan had been the last to post and not you, no.

 

[MsLinnet]

Never heard of it so I couldn’t possibly comment

Linnet

 

[Guest]

Then why did you?

 

[aka_khan]

before this turns into an arguement lets talk about the topic only please ... ? so is anyone going to write it?

 

[MsLinnet]

Then why did you?

it stopped you having to reply to your on post didn’t it

 

[sweetnpetite]

before this turns into an arguement lets talk about the topic only please ... ? so is anyone going to write it?

I think I'll probably write it. But it might be a while before I get there. I would like it if the descussion could continue so I can get some more ideas. What do you think of the idea of writing it like an actual episode, with approximatly the right amount of scenes and so forth? there would be a lot of build up, do you appreciate that in your stories? and how else could I make it seem like an episode? One way I can think of is to focus of the dialog, which I tend to do anyway. should it be script style (not like an actual scrit which would be boring but "the scene is marie's kitchen. Debra and Frank are finishing up the last of the pinapple upside down cake...) or story syle more like what you'd think when watching.


Debra sat in the kitchen with Frank. The others had turned in for the night, but the two of them where polishing off what was left of the deliscious pinaple upside down cake Marie had made two nights ago. Debra felt a twinge of jealousy, realizing that she would never cook anything that could compare to Marie's masterpieces. "You want that? she asked Frank, pointing to the slice of pinapple that had slid off the slice and onto the platter.He told her to go ahead and she popped it into her mouth, savoring the sweetness. For the moment she let go of her competitveness and felt nothing but appreciation. Not only had Marie given her this wonderful desert, but she had also given her the greatest gift ever, her husband Ray. He wasnt' perfect, but she loved him. She loved his sense of humor, she loved his boyish good looks, she loved the way he could make the twins giggle so adorably. So why, she wondered, am I having these dreams? Why was Maries other son suddenly so much on her mind that she saw him when her mind was quiet?

She looked over at Frank, savoring his cake like nothing else in the world existed. "Frank?" she asked to get his attention.

Frank looked up from his food. Why did debra always have that winey tone in her voice he wondered? Can't I eat in peace? "What?' he said a little too sharply and then wished he hadn't been so gruff. He didn't really mind debra. She was very pretty and besides, she was probably the only sane member of the family. So what if she thought she was better than the rest of them. She probably was.

Debra didn't notice anything unusual about his tone. She was used to it by now and went ahead with her question. "Do you ever- no, its silly never mind."

"Do I ever what?" he asked. He hated it when the woman did this. Ask or don't ask, for cryin' out loud. Then it struck him. Maybe she ws goiing to ask if he found her attractive. If he ever thought about messing around with his son's wife. To be truthful, he had fantasised about it a time or two. Mostly when she was going on and on and on about something no body wanted to hear. He figured it would be one way to shut her up. But she probably talked during sex too. He just hoped it was hot nasty talk and not just more of the same bla, bla, bla, nag nag nag. Was she about to come on to him? The thought made him a little uncomfortable. He started to squirm around in his chair. And yet he felt compelled to push her to answer. Just maybe tonight was his lucky night.

Frank smiled. "Do I what?" he said gruffly, trying to be a little sultry, but mostly failing. He heard his own voice and was sure she missed it. You old fool Frank, he told himself. She's not thinking of you. She's probably got a problem with that mamma's boy son of yours.

"Well, ok. Do you ever have- you know *dreams* about someone other than Marie. Someone you know?"

Dear God! She was comming on to him. He was a married man, he took his vows very seriously! But would he be able to pass up this incredable opportunity? He'd be a fool.

"Yeah, sure. Every time I have a dream and not a nightmare."

Debra knew that despite his act, Frank really loved his wife. "I'm seriousl Frank, help me out here."

"A time or two," Frank underestemated in a serious tone. "Why who you dreamin' about?"

"Well, it just feels so wierd. I mean, of all the people, I really don't know why I'd be dreaming about his brother. I mean its a little weird don't you think?"

"Robert!" Franks suprise was genuine. He hadn't imagined that Debra would be having erotic dreams with that goof-ball. He loved his children, but it should be obvious who was the casonova of the family, and she was lookin at him. "You're having dreams about Robert!"

"Shh! Not so loud. I don't understand it. He comes over after work and sweeps me off my feet. Its like a soap oppera or something. I feel terible. He's like a brother to me."


What do you think of this beginging? I saved it to word and will make a point to work on it starting immediatly. I know this board isnt' for writing the story, it just seems to get my juidces flowing (creative not other,lol) Do you think the begining is write? Adn how about my other questions?
I'm falling asleep, so goodby for now.

 

[mmercury]

read " Great start"

I goofed and posted as a new thread

 

[coleman]

i really like your start, but i was wondering if Frank would get to screw Debra because that seems to be a popular theame as well

 

[sweetnpetite]

i really like your start, but i was wondering if Frank would get to screw Debra because that seems to be a popular theame as well

probably not. at least not in my version. I think a little restraint will make a better story (at least that's how I tend to write anyway, everybody not getting EXACTLY what they want makes the story more believable and creats tension, which a good story really needs.) Also, I don't think I could write it. I like the idea where he thinks about it though, and the show (oops, story) gets you wondering what's going to happen, not just an obvious point a to point b. Maybe a scene where he's masterbating or where he's with Marie but fantasizing its Debra, but I don't know if I'll be able to fit that in smoothy or not. Good to think about though.

 

[aka_khan]

will rays friends get to screw debra like this version...

Well, I like the idea of Debra being blackmailed. She doesn't want to be a slut for her husbands family, but believes she has no choice. This would also go on for awhile without Ray finding out or even suspecting. Maybe even right under his nose. A family Thanksgiving dinner where Frank and Robert ask Deb to find something in the basement, then they both get sucked off while the rest sit arguing upstairs. She could also tell Ray that she and Robert are swingdancing, but in reality they're going to a sleazy hotel to fuck; Robert making her do all kinds of nasty things she'd never dreamed she'd ever do. One outing perhaps Robert even has the rest of Rays buddies there to join in on the fun. Poor Debra cannot refuse....

 

[sweetnpetite]

will rays friends get to screw debra like this version...

I dont' think I would write a free-for all like that. Besides, I don't know the characters of his friends that well. Somebody else might want to write on the group sex angle. It just doesn't work for me in this storyline or this show. (Just my take of course)

On the other hand, If I wrote a part two, its concievable that there could be a group sex thing with Robert's cop buddies.

 

[aka_khan]

Besides, I don't know the characters of his friends that well ...
On the other hand, If I wrote a part two, its concievable that there could be a group sex thing with Robert's cop buddies.

well y would u write a group sex one with rays cop buddies when there is virtually no episodes (only one i think of) that include his cop buddies ... at least with rays friends u can learn the character a litte better.how they talk etc.

 

[sweetnpetite]

had a long reply but my computer crashed

well y would u write a group sex one with rays cop buddies when there is virtually no episodes (only one i think of) that include his cop buddies ... at least with rays friends u can learn the character a litte better.how they talk etc.

yes, but with the cops, I can just make them up

 

[aka_khan]

o ok ... so how far along are you because i just can't wait till it comes out!!!

 

[sweetnpetite]

in progress

 

[aka_khan]

how much longer

i dunno .. is u'r story done or not cause sometimes the seraches in literotica.com don't work properly ... and i have been dieing to read it
if it is done can u email me a copy - lord_of_trance_paul_oakenfold@hotmail.com

 

[sweetnpetite]

Re: how much longer

Its not done yet. I've been severly blocked and unable to right anything. But I think I'm getting my groove back. When I finish it, I'll send you a copy before I post it, so you can tell me what you think, and if there are any changes you would like. That way (hopefully) I'll be garanteed at least one 5. (You do vote right?)

Anyway, I'm sorry that its taken so long. I promise you will be the first to know when its done. ('Cept maybe my live-in for editing)

i dunno .. is u'r story done or not cause sometimes the seraches in literotica.com don't work properly ... and i have been dieing to read it
if it is done can u email me a copy - lord_of_trance_paul_oakenfold@hotmail.com

 

[sweetnpetite]

Still In Progress

I said I would write this story and so I will. Shortly after starting it, I just became blocked and couldn't seem to write anything. It was like I lost the will to write (can you imagine???). I think I just needed some time off, because I'm back, and I'm rededicated to both this story and all of my writing. So I just wanted to let you know that I am working on it again.

 

[sweetnpetite]

bump

Sorry it has been taking so long. Also the story is maybe starting out a little slowly, sex wise, but I'm hoping that it will still be compelling to those who enjoy the show.

I kind of wish I'd have never mentioned it, just got to work on the story and let you know when it was done, but its too late for that. I would love it though, if the discussion would continue. Maybe if people would make observations about what they like about the show or the characters. (ie- patricia heaton's new breasts) I'd also love it if any women like this story idea, and if any of them find Robert's character or the actor who plays him sexy in any way.

Thanks