Exciting Stories

[FidelityBoss]

Maybe...

My case has a large backstory. Before I decided to take writing seriously, I was a musician. Hell, before I ended up as a librarian, I was a music teacher, and I've been studying and performing since I was a toddler. I went through orchestras, I travelled, performed for big audiences, met people, played different instruments, got mentored by all kinds of composers, directors, and other musicians... The thing is that, in my city, not my country, but my city specifically, the music community is one of the most competitive and toxic communities you could ever be part of, so much so that it became a focal point for several mental health issues, ranging from self-sabotage all the way to suicide attempts. It is no surprise, actually. When I was a teenager, I've seen one of my classmates get out of one of those piano test in tears. She was verbally crucified by one of the critics who heard her performance; much worse stuff than what you've seen in comments here, because I know exactly who was that person. Everybody feared them.

Suffice to say is that I got out there, broke some hearts, got my heart broken... Just rejection after rejection, failure after failure...

Hell, this isn't even my first rodeo in writing. Before getting into erotica, I used to get into writing contests quite a lot. Out of all of them, I only won one. The funny thing is that I got into writing because I met my mentor while I was both studying and working with music. He was my piano teacher, and I met him around the time he published his first book.

So yeah, that excitement is gone, or at least right here. I guess, for me at least, the issue is that the bar is set too low. I don't find that wrong in particular, I think it's liberating. It's one less thing to stress about. Besides, my process works in the same way as Warhol's factory: one piece is done, the next one comes in. No time to get excited about publishing when I'm more excited about writing the next story instead.

That’s a hell of a journey, going from the cutthroat world of music to the more freeing space of writing. Sounds like you’ve seen the highs and the brutal lows, but at least now, you’re creating on your own terms. The Warhol factory approach makes sense and keeps the momentum, keep moving. Maybe the excitement isn't in publishing anymore, but if it's still there in the writing itself, that’s what really matters.