Feminization and transition

[Gi_Venus]

The only permanent way to destroy the follicle is electrolysis. Hormones and lasers might be enough for body hair, but facial hair is persistant. If you mean temporarily, razors or magic shave works best.

Look for better insurance. Most will cover therapy if categorized as anything but transgenderism. Some will cover hormones as a generic "hormone imbalance". If you're lucky enough to live in Minnesota like me, one company will even cover surgery.

Thanks temp256, Sigh! I was hopeing for something better but you confirm what I already suspected. We will see what hormones will do.
Gi

 

[Tymeless]

had my first therapy session yesterday it was great i would recommend you going to see one but make sure its someone that specializes in gender issues. after my first session i feel great and its nice to see things finally starting to shape up i can see the future getting closer and i'm getting giddy i know its not gonna be easy but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

 

[temp256]

I'm finding therapy pretty much useless. I already know this is what I want to do, and I'm familiar with the risks. I'm supposed to wait three more months before hormones? I'm about ready to find a supplier and start taking hormones on my own (just to get a referral, I don't intend to self medicate).

 

[Tymeless]

yeah i know its what i want too but its nice to be able to sit down and talk about it with someone trained but like you i wish i was on hormones already.

 

[Gi_Venus]

I'm finding therapy pretty much useless. I already know this is what I want to do, and I'm familiar with the risks. I'm supposed to wait three more months before hormones? I'm about ready to find a supplier and start taking hormones on my own (just to get a referral, I don't intend to self medicate).

temp256
I have had a similar experience, my therapist tells me it is the mental transition that counts......I have already made most of those I am anxious to get on the hormones. I have had some in the past and I loved the way it feels, even the diminishing of libido was nice.

 

[Lyrical Fool]

Regarding the sexual orientation :

It's my understanding that the gender that one identifies as (as opposed to having the parts for) determines your sexual orientation.

For example ... if you fully identify as female (although you're still in a male body) and you're attracted to men -- you would be "hetero." Attracted to women would make you "homo."

And vice versa for someone in the opposite situation.

And this comes from a friend who is almost finished with her transition. It's been a long, hard journey for her, and now she's just awaiting that final "nip tuck."

Just about everything else has been settled.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Regarding the sexual orientation :

It's my understanding that the gender that one identifies as (as opposed to having the parts for) determines your sexual orientation.

For example ... if you fully identify as female (although you're still in a male body) and you're attracted to men -- you would be "hetero." Attracted to women would make you "homo."

And vice versa for someone in the opposite situation.

And this comes from a friend who is almost finished with her transition. It's been a long, hard journey for her, and now she's just awaiting that final "nip tuck."

Just about everything else has been settled.

That puts me in the middle somewhere, I am sort of confused.

 

[Stefani]

Hello,

Wish i could give you the accummulated wealth of information I picked up while living as a transsexual, but i can't. You have to go through it for yourself. Everyone's transition is an individual journey.

I was on hormones for 8 years. Just stopped them a year ago. I got very close to SRS, but backed away from it. For me, ultimately after 8 years of living as a woman, i came to the conclusion that it doesn't work. At least not for me.

I was passable, but came to the conclusion that all men wanted me for was sex. I don't think i could ever find a satisfying relationship living as a TS. For me, it became a question of: what's more important, living as a woman, or finding a soul mate?

For me, finding a committed relationship became more important than my transition. Say what you want. I already realize that i was not your 'classic transsexual.' And i just thank God i did not do anything permanent that was irreversible.

I enjoyed my walk on the wild side. But over the last year i've been trying to live as a boy again. It's weird. I felt like i had to go through an entirely new transition just to live as a male again. I still go out dressed enfemme, but now it's just for fun. It's no longer a lifestyle.

I've been through it all... can tell you about hormones... about counselling... did 5 years of electrolysis... the whole 9 yards. You can read more about my transition at my web site: http://www.steffiemor.com/index4.html

Because i am no longer living as a TS, my site is down, I no longer update it, but you can still access it at that address.

If I can help answer any questions, just ask. I'm not very active here any longer, but i'll try to check in.

All the best,
Steffie

 

[trishcd]

It made my eyes water

Everything you wanted to know......

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/SRS.html

I looked at all the pictures......and I would not want to have any one do that to me...happy with the plumbing I have...but to each his/her own

 

[Lunesta]

For myself I live in a homophobic environment so I have to be in the closet as long as possible. Basically it is looking like a mess. Honestly I am scared.
But it is something I have to do. Any thoughts?

My first thought is to congratulate you. It is very hard facing up to feelings which have probably brought you despair, anger, shame, joy and many other emotions over the years. I wish you every happiness in your years ahead.

What you are doing is very hard. If you are not aware of TS Roadmap, you might want to look over its information and advice.

Stuponfucious said simply: "Move". Its advice you might want to consider if you live in a homophobic area. The threat of violence is real. And beyond that, the rude social interactions a person receives in daily life can grind one down if they are not receiving positive reinforcement from others in their life. Living in a non-hostile environment is important.

Two final thoughts: getting rid of your beard is not something you want to delay. Removal is expensive and can take quite awhile. Its a hurdle best to get over quickly.

Pre-hormone counselling, however, is not a hurdle to be overcome. Its a serious time for investigation of your feelings, the very real prices you will pay and your ability to survive transition and beyond. Pick an experienced counsellor and be open with them.

 

[temp256]

I was passable, but came to the conclusion that all men wanted me for was sex. I don't think i could ever find a satisfying relationship living as a TS.

I've started to notice this. I got half a dozen propositions from the personals board already. I don't suppose you have any experience with women? I hope lesbians will prove more worthwhile in relationships.

Fortunately my outlook is good. I'm young, have a nurturing environment, and college students are much more accepting than the general population. But it doesn't make anything easier...

 

[neonflux]

Kiss to you...

For me, finding a committed relationship became more important than my transition. Say what you want. I already realize that i was not your 'classic transsexual.' And i just thank God i did not do anything permanent that was irreversible.

I am very sorry that you had to make the choice you made - it's one no one should be forced to make... How goes your life now?

Neon

P.S., From a bi-queer gal, I think you're beautiful

 

[Stefani]

I've started to notice this. I got half a dozen propositions from the personals board already. I don't suppose you have any experience with women? I hope lesbians will prove more worthwhile in relationships.

The vast majority of my experience is with men. I lived with a latino for 6 years, and a black man for 5. Both were great.

But ever since my last boyfriend and i split, i felt like i went through a series of relationships with guys that never lasted more than a couple of months. They wanted to date me, and screw me, but none were intesested in taking me home to meet mama. Not that i really wanted to meet their mothers, it just annoyed me that they were trying to hide me in the closet.

I've been involved with a woman for the last couple years. It's wonderful. With guys it's all about sex... with my girlfriend i feel like it's all about love.

Fortunately my outlook is good. I'm young, have a nurturing environment, and college students are much more accepting than the general population. But it doesn't make anything easier...

Sounds like you're off to a good start. I'm in my late 30's. I would think the younger generation today has been exposed to a lot more through the media, and you should have an easier time than i did finding a partner your age.

All the best in your transition, wherever it leads.

Stay sweet,
Steffie

 

[Stefani]

I am very sorry that you had to make the choice you made - it's one no one should be forced to make... How goes your life now?

Neon, i'm actually quite happy. Just trying to keep everything balanced.

I've come to the conclusion that i'm a little of both genders, and that it would have been a mistake to give up my male side.

At times i feel like a 16 year old boy going through puberty all over again. And the really sweet thing is, i still look good in lingerie.

It's a wonderful life.

 

[Tymeless]

have my second therapy appointment tuesday so i'm about 2 months away from hormones yay

 

[Gi_Venus]

Hello,

Wish i could give you the accummulated wealth of information I picked up while living as a transsexual, but i can't. You have to go through it for yourself. Everyone's transition is an individual journey.

I was on hormones for 8 years. Just stopped them a year ago. I got very close to SRS, but backed away from it. For me, ultimately after 8 years of living as a woman, i came to the conclusion that it doesn't work. At least not for me.

I was passable, but came to the conclusion that all men wanted me for was sex. I don't think i could ever find a satisfying relationship living as a TS. For me, it became a question of: what's more important, living as a woman, or finding a soul mate?

For me, finding a committed relationship became more important than my transition. Say what you want. I already realize that i was not your 'classic transsexual.' And i just thank God i did not do anything permanent that was irreversible.

I enjoyed my walk on the wild side. But over the last year i've been trying to live as a boy again. It's weird. I felt like i had to go through an entirely new transition just to live as a male again. I still go out dressed enfemme, but now it's just for fun. It's no longer a lifestyle.

I've been through it all... can tell you about hormones... about counselling... did 5 years of electrolysis... the whole 9 yards. You can read more about my transition at my web site: http://www.steffiemor.com/index4.html

Because i am no longer living as a TS, my site is down, I no longer update it, but you can still access it at that address.

If I can help answer any questions, just ask. I'm not very active here any longer, but i'll try to check in.

All the best,
Steffie

Hello Steffie, It sounds like a rough road you have travelled. Mine own has been a little rough just because I was never honest with myself. I did self medicate when I was younger for a time but then ran out of Hormones, The result is that I have small breasts but living as a man have had to hide them.
I had this ideal in my head of what I should be which was based on self denial. My only goal now is to be who I truly am.......laughing....there in lies the question.....I know I am not who I have attempted to be, that is an average male. For a time I thought I might be bi-sexual but have never allowed myself true intimacy with men, how much of a woman am I? Where is the true person not the projected ideal? Laughing.....there is my path. That of self discovery which may or may not lead to SRS. I do know this I have always admired women and have wanted to be one just never considered myself to be attractive enough to be my ideal..... I want to look good.
I have noticed that men tend to be interested from sexual need view point. I like it when men pay attention to me, for that matter women too. I hope to find a soulmate some day. Most of people I have been closest to have been women. There are some men I feel connected to. But if I feel no connection I am not interested.
One of the interesting things my therapist has been trying to teach me is to learn a fear of men...... which he feels is an important part of transition. I am not quite sure I understand for to be honest I have met some pretty scary women too.
Forgive me, I am babbling today. I will read your thread thank you so much for sharing.
Giselle

 

[Stefani]

Hello Steffie, It sounds like a rough road you have travelled. Mine own has been a little rough just because I was never honest with myself. I did self medicate when I was younger for a time but then ran out of Hormones, The result is that I have small breasts but living as a man have had to hide them.
I had this ideal in my head of what I should be which was based on self denial. My only goal now is to be who I truly am.......laughing....there in lies the question.....I know I am not who I have attempted to be, that is an average male. For a time I thought I might be bi-sexual but have never allowed myself true intimacy with men, how much of a woman am I? Where is the true person not the projected ideal? Laughing.....there is my path. That of self discovery which may or may not lead to SRS. I do know this I have always admired women and have wanted to be one just never considered myself to be attractive enough to be my ideal..... I want to look good.
I have noticed that men tend to be interested from sexual need view point. I like it when men pay attention to me, for that matter women too. I hope to find a soulmate some day. Most of people I have been closest to have been women. There are some men I feel connected to. But if I feel no connection I am not interested.
One of the interesting things my therapist has been trying to teach me is to learn a fear of men...... which he feels is an important part of transition. I am not quite sure I understand for to be honest I have met some pretty scary women too.
Forgive me, I am babbling today. I will read your thread thank you so much for sharing.
Giselle

Giselle,

How are you living now? Do you go out and interact with people enfemme?

I ask only because i think to be true to yourself... to bring out the person you believe you are inside... you have to make friends... interact... and build relationships as a woman.

When others see the true you - you'll have crossed the line from fantasy into reality. It's a frightening step... nor is it easy... it can be pretty rocky... but once you make it, there is a true sense of liberation... of being true to yourself.

My own walk on the wild side, has been filled with more nightmares than i care to remember... some truly dangerous, frightening moments... but you learn as you go, and it gets easier with each step. You learn what not to wear... what not to do. You find your own center... what is appropriate to your own form.

Again, not sure where you are in transition... but it helps to take baby steps. Pierce your ears. Grow your hair out. Go for electrolysis. Whatever. I just know that whenever i felt like i was doing something to aid me in transition - namely anything that helped me to blend in as a woman - I felt like i was moving forward.

In some ways, transition can become like an addiction. My old boyfriend heard me say 100 times, "I'm only going to do this one thing... I'm only going to get silicone injections once.... I'm only going to get a trachaea shave... I'm only going to try this laser electrolysis once..." Once you get started down that path, it's very hard not to keep going deeper and deeper.

Went out tonight to a local club. Even though i haven't been on hormones in a year, a lesbian thought i was a woman and tried to pick me up. 15 minutes into the conversation she said, "Wait a minute... are you a boi?"

I told her, "Yes, all except one extra piece of plumbing." ;-)

Stay sweet,
steffie

 

[Gi_Venus]

Giselle,

How are you living now? Do you go out and interact with people enfemme?

I ask only because i think to be true to yourself... to bring out the person you believe you are inside... you have to make friends... interact... and build relationships as a woman.

When others see the true you - you'll have crossed the line from fantasy into reality. It's a frightening step... nor is it easy... it can be pretty rocky... but once you make it, there is a true sense of liberation... of being true to yourself.

My own walk on the wild side, has been filled with more nightmares than i care to remember... some truly dangerous, frightening moments... but you learn as you go, and it gets easier with each step. You learn what not to wear... what not to do. You find your own center... what is appropriate to your own form.

Again, not sure where you are in transition... but it helps to take baby steps. Pierce your ears. Grow your hair out. Go for electrolysis. Whatever. I just know that whenever i felt like i was doing something to aid me in transition - namely anything that helped me to blend in as a woman - I felt like i was moving forward.

In some ways, transition can become like an addiction. My old boyfriend heard me say 100 times, "I'm only going to do this one thing... I'm only going to get silicone injections once.... I'm only going to get a trachaea shave... I'm only going to try this laser electrolysis once..." Once you get started down that path, it's very hard not to keep going deeper and deeper.

Went out tonight to a local club. Even though i haven't been on hormones in a year, a lesbian thought i was a woman and tried to pick me up. 15 minutes into the conversation she said, "Wait a minute... are you a boi?"

I told her, "Yes, all except one extra piece of plumbing." ;-)

Stay sweet,
steffie

Hi steffie, I am not very far along still experimenting mostly in private. You have labelled my strategy. I am experimenting with relationships, slowly changing my appearance. To move to a new area is out of the question as I am very actively participating in raising my child with my ex. I do need to find a place that will give electrolysis to men in my area. All the signs read "women only". Fortunately I lack the naivete of youth and realize that community and people do not accept that which is different and I have no false expectations. As far as relationships I have come to realization that we are all part of the same thing, the wonder of the universe and are connected that way. We just have to learn to see it through our personal veil of deception. I know I sound crazy but I used to dwell in dark places with my eyes turned away from the beauty that surrounded me.
We all poision our realities with negative self talk.
Sorry.....my rant was not directed at you.

Your photo is lovely by the way. I will be reading your Link over the next few days......thank you for all your wonderful info. I hope you do stay in touch.
Gi

 

[Stefani]

I am experimenting with relationships, slowly changing my appearance. To move to a new area is out of the question as I am very actively participating in raising my child with my ex. I do need to find a place that will give electrolysis to men in my area. All the signs read "women only".

Hi Giselle,

Sounds like you're doing what you can. So many people try to transition too fast - they want to go from zero to 60 mph immediately. I tend to think making too many changes too quickly can lead to regrets. Baby steps. Get acclimated. Find out if this world is right for you before doing anything drastic.

Surprised by your comment regarding electrolysis. I would think any place that does laser for women would be more than willing to take your money.

Years ago i went to a couple of meetings of a local TV/TS support group called Renaissance. They put me in touch with a post-op TS that did needle electrolysis. I went to her for 2 hours a week for two years - and my face still wasn't cleared. Then they came out with the laser, and I just picked a place out of my local phone booth. They said they'd never had a TS client before - but they didn't care. In fact, when I began bringing my TS friend Christina with me, they loved me for bringing them business!

The thing with electrolysis, you'll get better results if you're on hormones, particularly an anti-testosterone. But again, anything you do will be a step in the direction you want to go.

If you look on my web site you'll find pages on electrolysis... hormones... makeup... style tips... attitude. Hopefully some of them help.

Stay sweet,
Steffie
http://www.steffiemor.com/index4.html

ps. I see you're in Florida. Are you anywhere near Orlando? It's been years since i've been there, but i remember going to a club called the Parliment House. Any place that has drag shows will draw some of the local TG crowd. Could be a place to meet like-minded people and make some friends.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Bump, there are some good links in this thread.