Finding a Woman for a Threesome

[Americano1992]

My long term girlfriend and I (a male) have been talking lately about introducing a female into our sex lives. She wants to do it because I want to do it and it really turns her on during sex when I talk about it. It has long been a fantasy of mine as well.

My question is how do we go about asking someone for a threesome or where would we find someone for that?

For those who have experience in the subject, have you found it better to use a stranger or a friend? I think she would prefer a stranger or maybe an acquaintance but with some good arguments I could maybe sway her. Any other advice is appreciated as well.


If anyone is up for it PM me and maybe we can go from there. Thanks everyone.

 

[aniowachick]

I did it with my hubby and best friend. I preferred someone I knew and trusted with their sexual health etc.

Shes now in a relationship so it is a no go.

Good luck, besides her we have had a very hard time

 

[Americano1992]

I did it with my hubby and best friend. I preferred someone I knew and trusted with their sexual health etc.

Shes now in a relationship so it is a no go.

Good luck, besides her we have had a very hard time

Thanks for the reply. That is an excellent point about the sexual health and something we are both worried about because we are each others first and only. Maybe I can get one of her friends to join us for some sexy time

 

[aniowachick]

Thanks for the reply. That is an excellent point about the sexual health and something we are both worried about because we are each others first and only. Maybe I can get one of her friends to join us for some sexy time

Worked for us.

She is like a sister to me, Friends over 15 years. I know those 2 have no feelings for eachother and we were all comfortable

 

[Americano1992]

Worked for us.

She is like a sister to me, Friends over 15 years. I know those 2 have no feelings for eachother and we were all comfortable

If you dont mind me asking, how did you approach her about it? I have no idea where to even begin.

 

[cuffs97]

.....

 

[roomfor1more]

There is a big difference between the idea of having a threesome and the reality of having one. It is not as easy as waking up one day saying I want to have a threesome and then finding a willing person to join you. In my opinion, as a couple the two of you need to work through the issues it may bring such as jealousy and distributing attention. Also, the two of you will need to work through issues such as boundaries, talk about "what if... happens," safety issues, and address any issues the two of you may have as couple.

With this being the digital searching for a single woman can be relatively easy since there are many dating and swinging, and bisexual / lesbian sites. However there are no guarantees that you will find someone in your area or the site will help you find someone that is compatible with you. Another option might be talking with friends but that opens up other issues such as loss of a friendship. A third possible option could be attending a swingers club in your area but you might have to attend several times before a single woman shows. Fourth option, would be looking for another couple that is open to sharing the woman with you in order to have a threesome but the downside is they may expect that you reciprocate with your wife joining them. Fifth option would be putting aside the idea of a threesome and look for a foursome with another couple, this might be the best option for the two of you.

At this point you might be wondering why I have not suggested either co-workers or prostitutes / escorts? The reason is, the risk is too high especially if you have a job that has in the public light, safety is an issue, or being discreet is needed. In my opinion there are too many high impacting risks for such an option to be seriously considered.

Regarding your question, how do you ask? If you attend a swingers club, advertise on a dating site, advertise on a swinging site, or advertise on a lesbian / bisexual website whereby you making it clear you are looking for a woman to join you for a mff threesome then asking directly is not necessary because it is the basis for the communication. The issue the two of you will more likely face is being assertive, being able to communicate your needs, and being able to communicate your expectations. This means being able to compromise in order to allow it to happen but not giving up the needed elements in order to make this work for the both of you. My feeling making the contact is the easy part; the difficult part is the communication aspect.

The best advice I can give you is to take it slow, be prepared for this process to take time, and be open about needs. I feel the more you can do to discuss and plan the threesome the better off in the end all of you will be. If you have any further questions please feel free to PM me.

 

[Ex Princess]

My long term girlfriend and I (a male) have been talking lately about introducing a female into our sex lives. She wants to do it because I want to do it and it really turns her on during sex when I talk about it. It has long been a fantasy of mine as well.

My question is how do we go about asking someone for a threesome or where would we find someone for that?

For those who have experience in the subject, have you found it better to use a stranger or a friend? I think she would prefer a stranger or maybe an acquaintance but with some good arguments I could maybe sway her. Any other advice is appreciated as well.


If anyone is up for it PM me and maybe we can go from there. Thanks everyone.

It took me months of talking and flirting with my best friend, trying to get her to be with me. She ended up not biting on my offer but she invited me to be in a threesome with her and her on again/off again boyfriend. It was amazing.

 

[boredVAwife]

My long term girlfriend and I (a male) have been talking lately about introducing a female into our sex lives. She wants to do it because I want to do it and it really turns her on during sex when I talk about it. It has long been a fantasy of mine as well.

My question is how do we go about asking someone for a threesome or where would we find someone for that?

For those who have experience in the subject, have you found it better to use a stranger or a friend? I think she would prefer a stranger or maybe an acquaintance but with some good arguments I could maybe sway her. Any other advice is appreciated as well.


If anyone is up for it PM me and maybe we can go from there. Thanks everyone.

About the only concern I have is when you say she wants to do it because you want to do it. I have had the pleasure of a few female lovers and none of them were doing it because their husband or boyfriend was into it. I think it could be something the both of you really enjoy but I would make 100% certain that she wants it as much as you do. Sex can just be sex but sometimes when a couple is involved with a third, it can get mixed up and friendships or relationships can get blurry. Good luck to you both and enjoy.

 

[louisa25ha]

Whilst I love this idea and have done it a few times in a past relationship, I can only say ...Think very hard before you get involved.

If you want to get off with a woman, you are probably best just doing that and seeing how it goes, all the while keeping your boyfriend blissfully unaware!.. If you like it, take up with her...

I saw a look of pure kid in a sweetshop the last time I did this on the face of my ex, and I was more or less ignored during the session, then only heard comments about how good she was after.. The two times before were great, but Hey... We split up after that

If you do go for it, set boundaries, and be the dominant one...Thy can be your slaves for the sesh..

Good luck and think,think ,think

lou xx

 

[silverwhisper]

americano1992 quoth:
my long term girlfriend and i (a male) have been talking lately about introducing a female into our sex lives. she wants to do it because i want to do it and it really turns her on during sex when i talk about it. it has long been a fantasy of mine as well.

my question is how do we go about asking someone for a threesome or where would we find someone for that?

for those who have experience in the subject, have you found it better to use a stranger or a friend? i think she would prefer a stranger or maybe an acquaintance but with some good arguments i could maybe sway her. any other advice is appreciated as well.

i've been in a few MFFs and MFMs. it's much easier to make the MFM work than the MFF, IMX.

you don't just blurt it out, as i'm guessing you've already realized. you need to work up to the idea.

but before that, you and your girlfriend need to discuss a few things and i definitely suggest doing it sober:

1. what is she allowed to do with her?
2. what are you allowed to do with her?
3. do these things revolve around sexual limits (you can't fuck her) or romantic limits (you can't kiss her)?
4. are both of you OK with hearing the other call out someone else's name?
5. is your intention that this is a one-time thing or not?

the answers to the questions themselves aren't half as important as knowing what each other's answers are.

now, as to your questions:

a. i think you're much better off with someone you know. as has been discussed, there are no questions re: sexual health. but beyond that, someone who knows you both will probably be better a better sexual partner. and for some folks, it's a lot easier to be intimate with someone you know than with a stranger.

b. you get to that place with someone you know, at least IMX, with a little flirting first to establish the idea of being perceived in that way. that may take more time or less depending on the dynamic between the 3 of you. once that's done, i think it's generally best if you both approach that other person and explain that you both want to invite her into your bed.

ed

 

[aniowachick]

If you dont mind me asking, how did you approach her about it? I have no idea where to even begin.

We always joked about it, saying things that were goofy etc.

One day I told her I wasnt just kidding about it.. she replied she knew that and after going out one night, she told hubby to take me to bed... not before lifting my shirt and licking my nipple.

She actually initiated it the first time


We were all such good friends we would sleep in one bed.. just because when we visited... One time she started rubbing hubbys cock.

Since then she started dating and it hasnt happened since.. We are still close friends but we dont even attempt it as she is in a commited relationship

 

[aniowachick]

I disagree with setting rules and boundries, it seems like a good idea but it can really hinder the fun. If you dont feel comfortable with them kissing.. or oral or whatever... dont do it.

 

[Wizard]

I have to say the biggest thing I would worry about is the sexual health of a stranger that you might bring in to the relationship...