For the Guys: Are you looking for a Special Guy Someone and hoping for a serious lasting relationship?

[mtsnowrider]

It'd be nice to find that again. And he was my first m to m experience. I didn't realize I'd hit the jackpot on the first try.

 

[Milo9012]

.....

 

[Uncut1969]

Fantasy is to have a married neighbor that we get along and so do wife’s helping at each others houses like neighbors do ! And one day we get taking about wifes how she’s not into sex anymore and spend all day thinking about sex jacking off ! Then like teens we go show me your and I will show you mine and then it starts a fwb all behind wifes back and they have no idea! In garage-basement-go away for fishing trip! All relaxed and comfortable because we both have something to lose!

 

[Milo9012]

.....

 

[dodgeboy2]

My special guy came into my life almost 50 years ago, we were together for about a year and split mostly due to my fault, young, dumb and an Italian Catholic from a very homophobic family who was afraid to live a life what was considered the norm. I did after we split have several trysts but honestly no one lived up to him, I married over 40 years ago and am still married to her. He friended me on FB and we have talked, not that I would ever do anything since I would never hurt my wife, but I could honestly say if something were to ever happen to our marriage I don't think I would hesitate possibly trying with him again!

 

[Milo9012]

.....

 

[dodgeboy2]

You're an honorable man to respect the devotion and bond with your wife.

But there are guilty feelings with that old relationship and the urge to resolve them no doubt gnaws at you, proofed by your sharing them here.

It'll be a challenging temptation to maybe resume a relationship with him "if something were to ever happen to our marriage", but be careful, temptations have a way of making awkward decisions for you.

You'll wrestle with them when you think about your time with him and, in the end, I hope you remember your wife.

Absolutely each time I have had a memory about him there are so many good thoughts floating in, I had fooled around a bit with guys before him but he was the guy that shall I say rocked my world guy to guy and honestly if I wasn't from the family I was in I may have stayed with him and never met my wife! But I did meet her and we have been together for a long time, I know I am bi which she btw doesn't know and never will, but with him I could maybe have been happy calling myself gay!

 

[Milo9012]

.....

 

[dodgeboy2]

That fully unrealized part of your past is warm, passionate, very pleasing, and a could, if you let it, cause a lot of problems in your comfortable and settled life.

I wish you and your wife all the best.

Thank you you as well!

 

[CharlieBoker]

Interesting post……Thought provoking for me.

As an active bi male back in my youth, I had loads of meaningless gay sexual hook ups and a couple of on/off friendships with benefits. My romantic and caring relationships in life however, have only been with women.

Now after nearly four decades of marriage, I find that my gay fantasies no longer centre around just satisfying my lust for cock like they used to.
Recently I’ve begun to think how nice it would be to have a bond with someone, a caring brotherhood where we look after each other’s needs emotionally as well as sexually.

Maybe it stems from being brutalised by a crazy, angry menopausal wife!? Maybe I’m done with crazy women!

Meeting someone gay and building a mutual male understanding of each other’s emotional needs, where we look after each other is appealing. Combine that with the erotic sexual experience a mature gay guy brings to the table and I’m now finding that scenario a highly attractive and arousing thought!

 

[dodgeboy2]

Interesting post……Thought provoking for me.

As an active bi male back in my youth, I had loads of meaningless gay sexual hook ups and a couple of on/off friendships with benefits. My romantic and caring relationships in life however, have only been with women.

Now after nearly four decades of marriage, I find that my gay fantasies no longer centre around just satisfying my lust for cock like they used to.
Recently I’ve begun to think how nice it would be to have a bond with someone, a caring brotherhood where we look after each other’s needs emotionally as well as sexually.

Maybe it stems from being brutalised by a crazy, angry menopausal wife!? Maybe I’m done with crazy women!

Meeting someone gay and building a mutual male understanding of each other’s emotional needs, where we look after each other is appealing. Combine that with the erotic sexual experience a mature gay guy brings to the table and I’m now finding that scenario a highly attractive and arousing thought!

Nothing better than mutual love and respect for each other, that is a relationship of perfection!

 

[Milo9012]

.....

 

[none2_none2]

I have found a sort of middle-road that I think is not that unusual.

I have never been into going to an adult book store for finding a no-name hook-up, though for some I can see the reasons that would be appealing. For me I found someone close by, however it was much different than what I first imagined. Accustomed to relationships where most women are replete with exclusiveness, it is not the same way within the gay community, at least not where I live, or within the local circles.

The first time I found this out was when I was sitting at my friend’s house and a friend of his came in. After some small talk he did not even speak, but just motioned between the man and I. It was a silent way of saying, “are you two going to get together?”

We did, and I am glad we did, as well as with his other friends of his since then, and that is just it; gay men typically are more open to having many partners I found out. We have a close friendship, closer than the others I have been with, but I also know its not exclusive. It's confusing because I am essentially being "shared" but yet not since I think he is just allowing me to experience others. It is a real fine line between being "used" versus "shared".

I don't deserve the monogamy my partner gives me, but it makes me love him that much more. My ED has ruined my performance. There isn't a day i don't wish I could be inside him like I used to be able to do. I don't hang around some LGBT community. Most of my exposures are just on here. By nature I am kind of a loner. If my equipment worked, why would I want to be with someone else? There will always be someone with more whatever I get turned on in a partner but would they put up with me for 22+ years? In 2018, I almost died when I had a bad bout of West Nile. I was in the hospital for about 5 weeks. My partner took a temp leave of absence to stay by my side except to go home to sleep and take care of the animals. When I finally came out of sedation, here was my hunk of man crying over ME. A grown, mascuiine man crying over an imperfect, stubborn, man like ME...

If that isn't love, I don't know what is. People (including men) need someone and some place that they call home. What kind of life would it be to have a revolving door of sex partners for all of my life. I had LOTS of partners over my life time, but I always wondered, is this going to be my life until the day I die? I had (and still have except for the equipment failings) a VERY high sex drive. I LOVE sex, but I do need more. I need a HOME. A house is just a house unless someone is there who you both come home to.

I think it is a hoot all these guys who claim to be str8 because while they crave cock, they aren't emotionally attracted to men. Then on the other hand you have self-identified gay guys who never want to give it all to one man. What is the difference? It's two sides of the same coin. Like I said, before my partner, I had lots of partners. I was never satisfied because there was a certain shallowness to it all. Whether it was being used or being shared doesn't matter. Rather the shallowness that is not sustainable over the decades. Now maybe for married guys it isn't so bad because they can relish the married life completely separate from their sexual pursuits. That wasn't in the cards for me as I found out in my early 20's that I was infertile. I count my lucky stars that my man isn't one of those st8-but-love-cock-not-men kind of dudes, nor one of those gay-love-cocks-but-no-particular-man kind of guys. Neither types would do anything for me. I have my happiness. I just hope that those guys who want more never settle for less than what they want from another guy. Every cock, ass, mouth (whatever your preference) is attached to a guy with a heart. Some of those hearts are capable of loving you back if that is what you want out of life.

 

[tristantrotsky]

I'll start, I have a fantasy of how I would meet him.
I'm at a home improvement store and I notice him looking at me in that unmistakable way and I like what I see. He must be picking up on my attraction to him and begins moving towards me and I move toward him.
We say hi to each other and begin chatting about the home improvement tasks that brought us to the store.
The feeling between us is warm and neither of us wants to end it, so we agree to finish our shopping and have a coffee together.
Over coffee, we share our situations; mature males, divorced, single, not dating, and looking for something special.
The fact we are having coffee together so soon after meeting tells us both there is an undeniable gay element to our being together.
We exchange numbers and agree to meet in a couple of days for a movie and dinner. As we walk away from each other we catch each other giving backward looks and smile.
We continue courting for weeks, holding hands, touching, and an occasional kiss.
We both don't want to rush things because we know what we want; a real caring relationship.

Call me old fashioned, but that's what I'd like to experience; an antiquated, out of fashion, courtship. Getting to know the guy and him getting to know me.

Any one else looking for something like this?

I like and respect the scenario you've outlined here.
But I do feel that a degree of mutual cocksucking would have come into play at least from the second date...

 

[Phatfeet]

I don't deserve the monogamy my partner gives me, but it makes me love him that much more. My ED has ruined my performance. There isn't a day i don't wish I could be inside him like I used to be able to do. I don't hang around some LGBT community. Most of my exposures are just on here. By nature I am kind of a loner. If my equipment worked, why would I want to be with someone else? There will always be someone with more whatever I get turned on in a partner but would they put up with me for 22+ years? In 2018, I almost died when I had a bad bout of West Nile. I was in the hospital for about 5 weeks. My partner took a temp leave of absence to stay by my side except to go home to sleep and take care of the animals. When I finally came out of sedation, here was my hunk of man crying over ME. A grown, mascuiine man crying over an imperfect, stubborn, man like ME...

If that isn't love, I don't know what is. People (including men) need someone and some place that they call home. What kind of life would it be to have a revolving door of sex partners for all of my life. I had LOTS of partners over my life time, but I always wondered, is this going to be my life until the day I die? I had (and still have except for the equipment failings) a VERY high sex drive. I LOVE sex, but I do need more. I need a HOME. A house is just a house unless someone is there who you both come home to.

I think it is a hoot all these guys who claim to be str8 because while they crave cock, they aren't emotionally attracted to men. Then on the other hand you have self-identified gay guys who never want to give it all to one man. What is the difference? It's two sides of the same coin. Like I said, before my partner, I had lots of partners. I was never satisfied because there was a certain shallowness to it all. Whether it was being used or being shared doesn't matter. Rather the shallowness that is not sustainable over the decades. Now maybe for married guys it isn't so bad because they can relish the married life completely separate from their sexual pursuits. That wasn't in the cards for me as I found out in my early 20's that I was infertile. I count my lucky stars that my man isn't one of those st8-but-love-cock-not-men kind of dudes, nor one of those gay-love-cocks-but-no-particular-man kind of guys. Neither types would do anything for me. I have my happiness. I just hope that those guys who want more never settle for less than what they want from another guy. Every cock, ass, mouth (whatever your preference) is attached to a guy with a heart. Some of those hearts are capable of loving you back if that is what you want out of life.

What a heart felt answer, and must say my heart goes out to you...

It is a sad reality for some, that as us men age, and we really figure out the true power and pleasure of real honest sex, physically it becomes troublesome for us.

It really took me a long time to figure out the intense pleasure and powerful of quality sex.

Let it be known that I have a lot of respect for you because of this post!

 

[mtsnowrider]

My special guy came into my life almost 50 years ago, we were together for about a year and split mostly due to my fault, young, dumb and an Italian Catholic from a very homophobic family who was afraid to live a life what was considered the norm. I did after we split have several trysts but honestly no one lived up to him, I married over 40 years ago and am still married to her. He friended me on FB and we have talked, not that I would ever do anything since I would never hurt my wife, but I could honestly say if something were to ever happen to our marriage I don't think I would hesitate possibly trying with him again!

Totally understandable dilemma. Too bad our culture is so rigid about monogamy and sex. We ought to be able to see it as the equivalent off having a dependable tennis partner when your wife no longer plays , or plays rarely, but you still enjoy it. Unfortunately its tough to get past those cultural taboos and I don't think most wives would be willing to accept that point of view

 

[SissyBrandi19]

I don't look for anything, ever, but if the right thing came along, I would be almost relieved to direct all my sexual energy towards someone that you have more than just physical I mean if you just have a physical thing, which in some cases is ideal or the only thing feasible, so not condemning them, just saying to the extent I can, ideally you get the emotional bond, certain trust, you learn about how to turn them on and tune them very effectively, you try new stuff, maybe together - that's light years better than a one-time thing and I've had many awesome one-time things. So anyone who may want the job...I have a voracious appetite we're talking definitely daily to say the least!

 

[Sunnyade]

I've had a FWB for 6 years. I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. It might not be ideal but its a situation which works for us both

 

[none2_none2]

Totally understandable dilemma. Too bad our culture is so rigid about monogamy and sex. We ought to be able to see it as the equivalent off having a dependable tennis partner when your wife no longer plays , or plays rarely, but you still enjoy it. Unfortunately its tough to get past those cultural taboos and I don't think most wives would be willing to accept that point of view

I couldn't disagree with you more. With or without my ED, my time with my partner isn't equivalent to having a reliable sports partner. I didn't choose to have ED. I have type II diabetes and heart problems. There isn't a single day that goes by that don't wish I could be inside my guy again. Now when I was inside him, I wasn't thinking about the Virgin Mary, Jesus, Joseph, apple pie, the constitution, or any such thing, but I was thinking about how I which I was fertile and wish could really breed him (another man) because I love my partner, lost after him, and I think nothing would be more wonderful if our love could last on this earth longer than our own lifetime via procreation. It's not about feminizing him, but about creating life.

The real taboo is men who cannot fathom two men loving each other to the point that they choose to be monogamous with each other. Dudes on here will make up all sorts of excuses for why they cannot get too close to another guy: 1) claiming men by nature aren't meant to be with just one person. 2) They aren't emotionally interested in guys -- just cock.

I have what I want. It just gets tiring of hearing these things over and over again. When I was out there and single, it amazed me that all these kinds of guys had far less sex drive than i did, yet they were the ones who didn't want any commitment. One of the best "sex" partners I had years ago, wanted sex with me about once every two weeks. He was bothered that I wasn't going to wait 2 weeks if he was going to play the field doing his bi-monthly rounds. He literally told me that he was monogamous with all his partners. Ha! Ha! I don't think he understood the meaning. Sucking and getting fucked by up to about 20 different guys is somehow being "monogamous with all his partners" makes absolutely NO sense. I see it as monogamy separates the men from the boys. I have my man, ii don't want to go back to being with "boys".

 

[Phatfeet]

I couldn't disagree with you more. With or without my ED, my time with my partner isn't equivalent to having a reliable sports partner. I didn't choose to have ED. I have type II diabetes and heart problems. There isn't a single day that goes by that don't wish I could be inside my guy again. Now when I was inside him, I wasn't thinking about the Virgin Mary, Jesus, Joseph, apple pie, the constitution, or any such thing, but I was thinking about how I which I was fertile and wish could really breed him (another man) because I love my partner, lost after him, and I think nothing would be more wonderful if our love could last on this earth longer than our own lifetime via procreation. It's not about feminizing him, but about creating life.

The real taboo is men who cannot fathom two men loving each other to the point that they choose to be monogamous with each other. Dudes on here will make up all sorts of excuses for why they cannot get too close to another guy: 1) claiming men by nature aren't meant to be with just one person. 2) They aren't emotionally interested in guys -- just cock.

I have what I want. It just gets tiring of hearing these things over and over again. When I was out there and single, it amazed me that all these kinds of guys had far less sex drive than i did, yet they were the ones who didn't want any commitment. One of the best "sex" partners I had years ago, wanted sex with me about once every two weeks. He was bothered that I wasn't going to wait 2 weeks if he was going to play the field doing his bi-monthly rounds. He literally told me that he was monogamous with all his partners. Ha! Ha! I don't think he understood the meaning. Sucking and getting fucked by up to about 20 different guys is somehow being "monogamous with all his partners" makes absolutely NO sense. I see it as monogamy separates the men from the boys. I have my man, ii don't want to go back to being with "boys".

I can certainly see both sides of this…

I do feel sorry in that you lost so much. In that I can commiserate, as I too struggle sometimes with erectile dysfunction, and certainly many of us can relate to that of the loss of a loved-one in either death or an ending of the relationship.

Yet, this is sort of like bike-riding, as everyone may be on a bike, but having differing wants out of it. Some want to tour the back roads endlessly. Some want to take ski lifts to the top of mountains and charge back down them at lightning speeds and challenging death. Other want to trek over the wildest of back country terrain slowly, but making it past almost impossible obstacles. And in all of those types of biking trips, how involved one person gets into it with their carbon fiber gearless mountain bike is going to be different than the two-seater dual bike another rides with their partner.

And it is the same with same-gender-sex.

What people’s wants are out of it, can be so different. But just as I would never tell anyone they are wrong for taking the leisurely bike ride down a country lane and not tearing a break-neck speeds down a ski slope in the summer, I am not going to shame them for not shunning all their upbringing and going all into a gay lifestyle. I just hope they enjoy it as deep as they do go… whatever that is for them.

I am glad that you went all in and have some wonderful memories of the past with your special person, yet there is nothing wrong with a brief moment between two men shared at an adult book store. The intimacy is not the same, BUT THEY DON”T WANT INTIMACY, and in fact they want the opposite. They are not cowards, full of biases, or unable to shed social norms; they want something different than what you had and now miss.

 

[Phatfeet]

Where do I stand on all this?

Kind of in between.

I like having a friend with benefits, and it is nice knowing what he likes, and without saying anything between us, I can give him that again and again. I enjoy doing that with him, and for him.

But to take care of an unknown stranger like at an adult book store? I would love to do what so many others on here have done, but with a twist. I would want my friend with benefits to tell me to do it. In that, yes; I get the pleasure of raw, unseduced sex with a complete stranger, but… not doing so only for my pleasure, or the person I just met, but also for my friend.

 

[smooth-boy]

I would be interested in some gay bdsm situation, but not a full time relationship. But, I was promiscuous with women. I want to get more active men but nothing serious.

 

[SteveXR]

Interesting post……Thought provoking for me.

As an active bi male back in my youth, I had loads of meaningless gay sexual hook ups and a couple of on/off friendships with benefits. My romantic and caring relationships in life however, have only been with women.

Now after nearly four decades of marriage, I find that my gay fantasies no longer centre around just satisfying my lust for cock like they used to.
Recently I’ve begun to think how nice it would be to have a bond with someone, a caring brotherhood where we look after each other’s needs emotionally as well as sexually.

Maybe it stems from being brutalised by a crazy, angry menopausal wife!? Maybe I’m done with crazy women!

Meeting someone gay and building a mutual male understanding of each other’s emotional needs, where we look after each other is appealing. Combine that with the erotic sexual experience a mature gay guy brings to the table and I’m now finding that scenario a highly attractive and arousing thought!

Well put

 

[MaturemanAJ]

I am not into the risky side of one time hookups. Would prefer local, married, best friends to the point the spouses are used to us hanging out together and or maybe the 4 of us together.

 

[HotLoadLover]

I'm not really interested in a romantic affair; I've had several in my many years and while limerance is a beautiful thing while you're in it, the damage when it departs is far worse than the hangover cheap tequila can do.

What I would like is for another married man who lives within quick walking distance to be interested in being serviced by me on a regular basis. A mutual-service arrangement would be ok, too, so we could take turns using our tools to fix little problems that pop up from time to time.

:: Phone Pings :: Me: "Rod's got a clogged drain. Be back in an hour." Wife: "His drain sure backs up a lot. Aren't you taking a plunger?" Me: "We're using his tools today. Gotta go."