Friends: I need some advice

[FlamingoBlue]

Once again....

the lawyer only gets a part of the story. Be his friend Cheyenne. But understand that I only help people who help me help them. My answer still stands.

Resent me all you want. Its a free country.

blue

 

[dusk2dawn]

Hey Whit, there is alot of good advice through this tread and you should really consider it.

Telling vrs. not telling. A very tough question.

If you tell you wife you risk the fact of her leaving you or she might see your side of things and also see how guilty you are feeling about all of this.

Not telling you wife she may never find out, or she does find out through the 3rd party and she may leave you anyway.

I really think you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My question to you is could you live with this knowladge if you wife never finds out, without feeling guilty?

I truly hope that all works out for you. Do what you think
is best, for that may be the only right way for you.

Dusk

 

[Cheyenne]

Re: Once again....

Resent me all you want. Its a free country.

blue

You misunderstood. It isn't you I resent, you are just trying to help like the rest of us. It was your condescending assumptions about me and the other "ladies" of the board that I resent:

Ladies, this isn't a soap opera. This is the real thing.

That comment infers that we "ladies" are too simple minded to understand the seriousness of Whit's predicament and that we are only giving him advice for the entertainment value. Only the great Mr. Blue divorce lawyer could give unemotional, practical advice, right? Wrong. Never assume you know the way a woman's mind works. Some of us are just as calculating and unemotional as you, when the situation calls for it.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

Cheyenne...

Your point is well taken. I made an assumption, given your collective responses, that you hadn't considered the emotional strain placed on Whit in trying to "negotiate" with Anita. I still think its a bad plan, but that's my opinion.

The fact that I disagreed with you in the context that I did is based on years of history that tell me that outsiders rarely have a good grasp of how emotionally overwrought the parties may be, particularly when the pressure is really on. That's why I suggested disengagement, revealing the truth to his wife and professional help.

So, ladies and gentlemen, as long as you understand that this is very serious stuff and Whit understands the ramifications of his acting on your suggestions, suggest away.

Oh, cut the crap about the "great blue". That's your thing, not mine. I was trying to help, just like you.



The "great" blue (at least this one time).

 

[Whit00EK]

Well, it appears as though I have provided food for thought along many lines in the past few days.

First, please allow me to express my astounded gratitude to all of you who took the time to respond. It is truly rewarding to realize that one can turn to others for advice and have it flow freely and sincerely from them.

I cannot go into true detail about what has occurred over the past three days with regard to my self-created situation, but let it be said that (1) the problem has self-destructed; (2) there is no reason to think that any of my misbehaviors will now reach my wife; (3) blackmail was the farthest thing from Anita's original purpose; (4) your posts and advice shook her to her roots and brought about a tranformation in her that even I could not have imagined.

How does one express the gratitude I feel for the honesty with which you jumped into the fray? Please allow this short note to be representative of that thanks.

(And a note to Blue.....I ought to know better as a Certificated Paralegal, Blue) Any room in your firm?

Again, thank you all......and to those who know me personally and responded via e-mail in more detail: you are the salt of the earth, good friends.

Edward

Over and Out