Fruitcake

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Hey Shang! Welcome back.

Your concoction of fruitcake sounds mighty tasty. Not like those bricks they sell in the supermarkets; however they can be perked up with a liberal dousing of rum.

Are you listening sarahh?

G imme a break! Those bricks you hate are 1000% better than 99% of the dog shit most people make from scratch.

 

[TE999]

G imme a break! Those bricks you hate are 1000% better than 99% of the dog shit most people make from scratch.

Yeah, adding dog shit to the mix would make a difference.

Those bricks do make great wheel chocks and door stops.

 

[Handley_Page]

Yeah, adding dog shit to the mix would make a difference.

Those bricks do make great wheel chocks and door stops.

Ah - Hrmf. . . .
I'd like to address a few remarks to you all in defence of the store-bought fruit cake. Firstly, it is important to separate the good from the bad by way of the stores. The cheaper it was the more remedy you'll need.

My local baker makes large slabs of fruit cake and cuts it into a brick. There is no way it will soak up brandy, rum or anything else; it's too moist already. So, good people, I am relatively confident you'd like it straight out.

For the others, I can recommend the following treatment:-

You will need some Rum or Brandy (if you want something else, you are on your own).

Take the end of the wrapper off the brick.
Pour in three tables-spoons of spirit.
Seal in an airtight bag and leave overnight.

Severe cases may need a small pool of spirit at the bottom AS WELL.
But do go very carefully. It is very easy to over-do it.

When the whole thing is "MOIST" (note; not wet), you can serve it with a nice cup of tea.

 

[English Lady]

I baked my Christmas (fruit) cake a month or more ago. I follow this recipe:

http://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/cuisine/european/english/the-classic-christmas-cake.html


And it is gloriously yummy.

 

[TE999]

Ah - Hrmf. . . .
I'd like to address a few remarks to you all in defence of the store-bought fruit cake. Firstly, it is important to separate the good from the bad by way of the stores. The cheaper it was the more remedy you'll need.

My local baker makes large slabs of fruit cake and cuts it into a brick. There is no way it will soak up brandy, rum or anything else; it's too moist already. So, good people, I am relatively confident you'd like it straight out.

For the others, I can recommend the following treatment:-

You will need some Rum or Brandy (if you want something else, you are on your own).

Take the end of the wrapper off the brick.
Pour in three tables-spoons of spirit.
Seal in an airtight bag and leave overnight.

Severe cases may need a small pool of spirit at the bottom AS WELL.
But do go very carefully. It is very easy to over-do it.

When the whole thing is "MOIST" (note; not wet), you can serve it with a nice cup of tea.

It's a tradition here in the USA to make fruitcake jokes every Christmas.

I'm not a big fan of fruitcakes myself, but I did write a story about them a few years back. Check it out.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=285435

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Yeah, adding dog shit to the mix would make a difference.

Those bricks do make great wheel chocks and door stops.

I know good fruitcake! The homebrewed crap always tastes like petrified pig poop cuz people dont wanna pay for the best ingredients; they try and substitute DUFF BEER for brandy or bourbon.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

It's in the oven at last. I'm savoring the lingering taste of brandy and waiting for the house to start smelling delicious.

Mine has dried cherries, apricots, pineapple, and figs, currants, raisins, slivered almonds and whole walnuts, flavored with brandy, mixed spice, and fresh orange and lemon zest. What's in yours?

Mmm, sounds delicious.

How are you doing? I missed you. Was Santa good to you this year???

 

[lil_elvis]

My recipe is about the same Shang, just pecans instead of almonds and walnuts

 

[CharleyH]

It's in the oven at last. I'm savoring the lingering taste of brandy and waiting for the house to start smelling delicious.

Mine has dried cherries, apricots, pineapple, and figs, currants, raisins, slivered almonds and whole walnuts, flavored with brandy, mixed spice, and fresh orange and lemon zest. What's in yours?

I must say that I normally DREAD Fruit Cake, but yours sounds ... sigh ... divine! Can you sent me some, please? xo

 

[BlackShanglan]

I was about to report that the fruitcake proved itself delicious, but it's difficult to call anything delicious in comparison to Recidiva, Charley, and Miss Scarlett. It is absolutely wonderful to see you all.

And it is some excellent fruitcake, with a warm, lingering note of brandy. Do drop bye - there is plenty for all.