Generotisty has "nothing" to do with a damn thing........

[Sparky Kronkite]

Ego does.

Ego has "everything" to do with everything.

Yet another spark of wisdom from one - Uber Oz.

 

[Madame Pandora]

I agree with you for 90% of human interaction, Sparky.

But there is another 10% and it's founded on empathy. Just is. And that's where sincere generosity comes from.

MP

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Maybe, but I think that it's likely that of the 10% of which you speak....

most of them - provide generosity more like a cow milks.

Just because.

Be....... cause.

Mooooooo!

 

[April]

LMAO, Sparky. I was being nice. And didn't know what else to say.

But it is an interesting thought about ego. I look forward to hearing your "stuff" in a couple of weeks or whenever.

 

[dza]

geez, human actions based on self-interest?? why am i always the last to know this stuff???

 

[DevilMayCare]

The best portion of a good man's life—his little, nameless, un-remembered acts of kindness and of love.

William Wordsworth

I can't argue with your premise that most of us are motivated by self-interest in much of our lives. But I firmly believe it is our capacity for kindness and love toward others on this remarkable, all too brief journey that makes our lives worth living, as the quote above says so eloquently. That we have difficulty doing so is more a comment on our lack of compassion for ourselves than anything else. Being kind without some smarmy overlay of religiosity isn't easy, it takes work. And its difficult to value others when we don't value ourselves, IMHO.

 

[Cheyenne]

You don't believe in true charity, either?

There is no ego involved in truly wanting to help others. Especially for those who do it anonymously.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[Laurel]

I agree with you for 90% of human interaction, Sparky.

But there is another 10% and it's founded on empathy. Just is. And that's where sincere generosity comes from.

MP

Well said! The charities I choose to donate to generally involve children and/or animals. I was raised in a less-than-functional family and felt powerless for most of my life. Now that I have the power, I do what I can to help those who don't have power in our society - especially children and animals, who are at the mercy of adults who may or may not have their best interests at heart.

Do I do this because it benefits me directly in any way? No. Do I do it because it builds up my ego knowing what a kind and generous person I am? No. I do it because I empathize with kids, and sincerely wish that no one will ever have to feel the way I did growing up.

I think the problem with most people is they have no empathy for others. If it hurts you to see other people or beings in pain, then you're a brainless softie. I think it takes a great deal of intelligence and courage to say yes, I do feel bad when others suffer.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

I agree with the statement 'Ego has everything to do with everything' because of the way I choose to understand that. Those whose Egos are not feed (I'm not talking overblown) and healthy cannot give true charity, because they are too focused on themselves. Those with replete and helthy self images are in a position to give of ourselves with nothing expected in return. Nothing as recompence, and nothing gained in kudos.

 

[Shelby]

I give freely, because I have much. Am I rich? You betchya. In the way most think of rich? Nope.

If you are my friend, what is mine is yours.

I don't give to charity, so to speak. I support nothing which involves animals as an act,(Shiners & most community groups are out) I support no group which has telemarketers (being paid) call me, Peta is a crock. The elderly lady who knocks on my door because a local family needs help. She gets my money. The childrens wish fund at Christmas (or any other time of year) gets my money. The neighbour who's barn burnt down...gets my support to build a new one.

C'est tu.

 

[SpectreT]

I'll be the first to say that all I do, I do for one reason, for one goal: I do it because I want to. I can't claim to know what my motivations are all the time, and when I do something charitable (usually volunteering my time; I'm WAY too poor to help anyone financially) I don't worry much about WHY I'm doing it. Ususally, afterwards, I'll agonize over whether or not I did it to feed my ego, but then I realize something: I helped someone, and from their point of view, that's the most important thing; that someone gave them a hand when they needed it. I can't tell you why I live the way I do, or believe what I do, except that I feel at times I have no choice. I can be no other person than myself, and I only hurt when I act against that basic.

In that basic is a deep NEED to help others, to protect, defend, strengthen, entertain, amuse, or do what others need from me. I feel myself to be a kind of warrior, with a calling to help wherever I can, however I can. But there's no thought of any other option, no idea that I can turn away from someone who needs me. I'm probably just wierd.

 

[TN_Vixen]

hey sparks.. *s*

during my divorce my father asked me what I was so disturbed about (b/c I was the one who intiated the divorce)... and I said.. "I feel like I'm being selfish" and he said to me:

"Everything you do is a selfish move"

I was confused and argued against this statement. Yet he asked me to specify something that I would do that I considered selfish outside my initiating divorce.

So I said.. "I want to go to law school at Texas @ Austin b/c they have the most intense legal defense program available and they are one of the premium schools to attend, but I won't do that" And he said... "Why?"

And I said.. "Because my son's father is here in TN along with all of his friends and his family and I couldn't take him out of the state to satisfy my own desires."

This was a decision that I considered to be completely altruistic. But he said to me. "Why won't you move?" and I said, "Because I couldn't do that to my son" and he said, "So making your son happy makes you happy?" and I said, "Of course!" and then he said.. "So you're being selfish."

Huh!

If you apply this logic, which I have yet to believe has true merit, it is true.

No one acts in a completely unselfish manner no matter what.

 

[Madame Pandora]

New Theory

THIS WAS IN AN EPISODE OF FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!

I just realized where Sparky gets all his ideas from!

RERUNS.

I wonder what station the TV at the BFC rec room is set on...

MP

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I don't like that show Friends.

And I give stuff away - I do it my own Sparky way. In New York it's easy - ya got olds but pretty good shoes - leave'em on the corner, right on the street, on the mail-box of something. A coat? Same thing. Toys? Same thing. Etc..

And if I'm "approached correctly" and I sence that "it's not a scam" I'll pull cash out of my pocket for a pan-handler.

Sure I do this for them of course - they benefit, sure - but so do I. And the fact is that "the act" would not even have been initiated - "if my ego did not allow it."

And......

I'm very dubious of most "professional charities." I always wonder exactly where the "money is going." I always wonder where the money is going - no matter what the organization, charitable or not.

I have high placed friends and aquaintences at the World Bank and International Monetary Fund. I tell ya - I'd kill them all if I could get away with it.

I trust no one with money - except myself and my family.

 

[Cheyenne]

And I give stuff away - I do it my own Sparky way. In New York it's easy - ya got olds but pretty good shoes - leave'em on the corner, right on the street, on the mail-box of something. A coat? Same thing. Toys? Same thing. Etc..

You'd love one of the suburbs near where I live. They designate a certain day every Spring to put stuff outside that you want to give away for free. It saves the expense of hauling it to a landfill and makes it easy for the citizens to help others without having to haul their stuff to Goodwill or some other charity. People come from miles around to "shop" for freebies they can use. Does some of it end up in rummage sales at the new owners' houses? Probably. But I think enough of it gets to people who can really use the stuff that it is a good grass roots way of helping others.

 

[Madame Pandora]

I still say 10% isn't "ego"

I give money to organized charities very rarely. I would much rather give my time or talents.

There are a few exceptions.

Since experiencing Hurricane Andrew in 1992 and learning first-hand just what they do, I have worked with many different branches of the Red Cross. I organize fund-raising, make phone calls, and remain on the calling list for my local community whenever they need assistance. I’ve never wonder about where my money is going with them. I see it in action everywhere I go, and I’ve worked behind the scenes and seen the integrity upheld by the individuals who function at these offices. I’m certain there are exceptions to the rule, but I’m not letting a few rotten apples spoil my faith in an organization which means a lot to me.

I will surrender personal funds to Make-A-Wish and Amnesty International just because I’ve done fundraising for them and I think they’re amazing as well. Other than that, I also steer clear of organized charities, preferring to get names of families in need from a local church, or similar more direct donations of that nature. I don’t mind giving someone a few bucks on the street, but I am also one of those obnoxious people they hate who tells them where the nearest shelters are, as well as the nearest labor pool.

More important than anything else I do, though, is working with both adult and child literacy projects. This issue is very important to me, because it breaks my heart to see someone struggle with their reading and writing skills. Maybe that is why people who are lazy in their grammar and spelling irritate me so. I’ve seen people fight for their personal education with both hands. Especially adult literacy. The amount of courage it takes to tackle reading disabilities and education as an adult touches me deeply. And the frustration and the wounded pride can be maddening for them.

I get a great deal of good feelings and a sense of personal accomplishment from the things I do, but I have problems agreeing that it has to do with ego. There are some things that are not about ourselves. They just aren’t.

Yes, I understand the point about “it makes me feel good” or alleviates some misplaced sense of middle-class guilt, (I keep hearing Alfred P. Doolittle bemoaning “middle-class morality”) but I don’t think it should be compared to ego. There have been plenty of times I have been tired, or frustrated, or disenchanted with certain individuals or situations regarding issues of charity or volunteering, but I force myself to grind my teeth and do it. I feel I should, so I do. Maybe I’m a slave to karma. Who knows?

No, it’s not selfless, but it’s not selfish, either. I think it’s somewhere in between. Is there a word that bridges the gap between egotistical and altruistic?

There should be

MP

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

MP - you are so wickedly wonder with the written word.....

That I find myself agreeing with you.

But - it's my ego that allowed that to come to pass.