Georgia directory?

[SpankMyMonkey]

Glad to be back home.

I get to have roots...at least for a little while.

DA...I am so happy that he made it home. Have fun baby.

Silver...damn girl. I know what it you are going through. When I had mine removed my sockets got infected and I had to go back in. It was not fun. I feel for ya.

Bama...nice cartoons.....not as good as the race car but; good.

SD...I am very sorry. Please forgive my misgivings. I humbly accept any affection you wish to show me.

Have great day gang.

Stay Hard

Spank

 

[bamagirl]

good morning ya'll

I may have posted this one before,but everytime I read it I laugh and its worth sharing again



I had to take my son's hamster to the vet.
Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best hamster-healer face on and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the hamster!"

"Oh, my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, ya know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, ya think!?!)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"OH, GROSS!", they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breached," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results."

Should I call 9-1-1?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake!)

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a c-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This hamster is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happpen... Ernie is a boy."

"What!?"

"You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most males of any species, they um.... er....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife."Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr.. Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this.
"So Ernie's just... just... excited?", my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence.

Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then laugh even more loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just... that... I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

That's enough," I warned.

We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea!" my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter once again.

2 Hamsters - 10 bucks..
1 Cage - 20 bucks..
1 trip to the vet - 30 bucks...

Pictures of your hubby pulling on the hamster's tally-wacker...


Priceless!

 

[bluenymph]

LMAO!!!! that's great bama... i needed that first thing this morning. Welcome back spank missed ya Hope everyone has a good week or at least a good start on one. Jay~! hi ya. yes, i've had a couple of interesting weeks. and no i haven't been on any adventures lately. lol. Sav~hope you're feeling better hon. DA, happy for you, nothing like an impromtu visit... have a good one everybody

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Goodmorning everyone! Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

Jay.. I missed you too darlin. We'll talk soon.

Spank... Hey babe... good to see you made it back safely.

Blue.. Thanks sweetie.

Bama... Mornin'

 

[savannahdreams]

Good Morning Everyone,
Well I made it back in one piece. It sure feels good to be home! I hope everyone had a wonderful two weeks. I havent read all the board yet, gonna take some time for that, but I'd like to wish everyone a wonderful week ahead.

Angel, I see you had a suprise this weekend. thats wonderful news. I hope everything is going OK, and you havent been under too much stress. I want you to know, I've missed you bunches. Cant wait to hear from you again.

Silver, I hope your feeling better today. I know that cant be any fun being in pain.

Savdreams, hey girl, hows everything this morning? I see youve been teasing Spank. Well there is someone close to you, that would probably enjoy a little spanking as well. I even have my own paddle, it has a little J carved in it to make a perfect imprint. Hope you have a great day.

Bama, good to see your still keeping everybody happy with your little comedy breaks. The fuckstones were funny. thank you, and keep up the good work.

Blue, how are you this morning? So hows it going in the big country? I trust you've been enjoying your self the past two weeks. Havent been crossing any more firebreaks have you?

Everyone please have a great day!!

glad to see you're back safe and sound and it's easy to tease spank

 

[savannahdreams]

Glad to be back home.

I get to have roots...at least for a little while.

DA...I am so happy that he made it home. Have fun baby.

Silver...damn girl. I know what it you are going through. When I had mine removed my sockets got infected and I had to go back in. It was not fun. I feel for ya.

Bama...nice cartoons.....not as good as the race car but; good.

SD...I am very sorry. Please forgive my misgivings. I humbly accept any affection you wish to show me.

Have great day gang.

Stay Hard

Spank

so umm, how long you have roots spank? *smirks* just let me know when you're ready for that paddle. I could have it engraved w/ something ya know and get the same spot over and over so it's imprinted for a few hours. watcha think?

DA ya think you might be up for it this weekend?
bama ...how about triple teaming spank? I have some whips and floggers as well.

 

[Jayzan]

Morning all,

Boy, yesterday was extremely busy. After you've been gone for while the emails pile up. I hope today is much better.

Spank, I believe I'd take her up on her offer, she sounds like she knows what she's doing. Nothing like an experienced woman at the end of a paddle.

Angel, I'll be out until about 12:00 or so, but I cant wait to hear from you. I need to see you smile. You dont know how much you miss something until you dont have it for a while......well, I guess you know that better than me.

Everyone please have a great day.

 

[Shy_Voyeur]

.

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Goodmornin' everyone! Hope you all have a wonderful day.

SD... I am ready whenever you are. Our Spank has been a very bad boy and is need of a spanking.

Jay... Darlin I have missed you as well. More than you know.Talk to you this afternoon.

Shy.. Goodmornin to you

 

[SpankMyMonkey]

My Ass tingles with anticipation.

A triple team...SD, DA, and Bama....damn my whole body quakes!

Bama....OMG that is so freakin funny. Having two boys I pray I never have to go through that.

Stay Hard

Spank

 

[Shy_Voyeur]

.

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Mornin' Angel

How are you this mornin?

 

[Shy_Voyeur]

.

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Sleepy. I stayed up until about 3:30am

yaaaawn...

How 'bout you?

Just tired. But have things to do today, will have to rest later

 

[Shy_Voyeur]

.

 

[bamagirl]

I never used paddles,whips and chains,but for spank I will learn how to use them

hope everyone has a good day

shy why was you up sp late?

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

How'd your weekend go?

Splendid, I hope.

Oh yes.. Best weekend I have had in a long time. How about yours?

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

I never used paddles,whips and chains,but for spank I will learn how to use them

hope everyone has a good day

shy why was you up sp late?

There you go spank.. All three of us ladies are game for givin you a spankin'

 

[Shy_Voyeur]

.

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

B O R I N G

Except for about an hour on Saturday and an hour on Sunday.

Glad to hear yours went so well.

Hopefully it won't be too long until you get another weekend like this last one.


Spank: Doing a good deed. Because I love my wife.

Will be at least two weeks.

 

[Shy_Voyeur]

.

 

[bamagirl]

ok ya'll im looking for a hubby to lol

I thought this was cute

HUSBAND WANTED
A lonely older lady, aged 75, decided it was time to get married. She put a want ad in the local paper that read:

"HUSBAND WANTED. Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run
around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants must apply in
person."

On the second day of the ad she heard the doorbell ring. Much to her dismay,
when she opened the door, there sat a man in a wheelchair. He had no arms or
legs.

She asked sardonically "You're not expecting me to consider you, are you?
Just look at you----you have no legs!"

The old man smiled, "Therefore no chance to run around on you!"

She snorted, "You have no arms either!"

Again the old man smiled. "Nor can I beat you!"

The old lady raised her eyebrows and gazed at him intensely.

"Are you still good in bed?" she asked.

The old man smirked and said, "I rang
the doorbell didn't I?"

 

[Shy_Voyeur]

.

 

[bamagirl]

love to see people smile

 

[Shy_Voyeur]

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