Getting beyond Melancholy how do you do it?

[mvball69]

Well I have tried many things in the past to get over my fits of melancholy and lately noneof them seem to work, so I thought well maybe my fellow Litsers will have some good suggestions on how they deal with it.
For me it has been a part of my life for I would say the past 15 years more than earlier. I have a good sense of why I have the ups and downs in emotions, but seeing that I cannot correct that easily, I like to find ways to try and stay on a more even keel and not go through the emotional downs for so long.
Any suggestions or ideas that anyone has would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[mvball69]

Keeping as good a daily routine as possible, getting up early and seeing the sun rise in the shorter days..and keeping that time you get up constant, especially when you feel low.

Some exercise, preferably in fresh air, just a walk, every day.

Smiling at people, saying hello.

Eating well, healthily and making less healthy things form only a small part of your diet. ( say an 80/20 rule....or better)

Keeping clean, and presenting oneself well.

Medication

I wonderful list of suggestions Gianbattista, it is good to know becase I already do some of these and will look for the opportunities to do the others. Thank you for your help

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[FGB]

Well I have tried many things in the past to get over my fits of melancholy and lately none of them seem to work, so I thought well maybe my fellow Litsers will have some good suggestions on how they deal with it.
For me it has been a part of my life for I would say the past 15 years more than earlier. I have a good sense of why I have the ups and downs in emotions, but seeing that I cannot correct that easily, I like to find ways to try and stay on a more even keel and not go through the emotional downs for so long.
Any suggestions or ideas that anyone has would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

First if you have not, go and rule at a chemical imbalance. There have been cases where a person has suffered for years only to find out that was the problem because they mentioned it while being treated for something else.

In addition some therapy can help...it helped me. either one on one or some group therapy. You will find out that you are not alone, indeed far from it.

I encourage you to look into it not only can change your life but you can actually feel like you have one and a satisfying on at that.

For me it took a 12 step program because I'm one of those ACOA people.

But they have twelve strep programs for everything.


Do it. Have a life you feel like living...

 

[removed9556]

 

[yossi]

Good luck.

I also think finding a passion can really help. I have had to give up a lot of the things i am passionate about, or be interested in them in a different way. I had practised yoga with moderate interest in the past but retook it up recently with a new passion, though less ability, and it now find it is is real guiding light in my life. It provides some of the exercise i like, and support, and some good thought too. The techniques also help me when I am arguing with myself. I am a bit of a yoga evangelist, because I feel if it can help me it could anyone who would try and found a good teacher who was about yoga, not about vanity yoga.

I love my practice as well and when I'm committed to it daily it helps me sort out a lot that's going on in my life. Plus, just breathing more fully can be meditative and helpful when it comes to depression.

OP: in the winter time I'm much more prone to melancholia so I try a more vigorous vinyasa or focus on backbends, small to deeper ones. They're very energizing and help to lift my spirits. There are all sorts of free classes offered on YouTube.

 

[Lancecastor]

The General Board is the best cure for melancholy.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Melancholia can be a wonderful thing, and a fine spur to much great work. Read Burton's Anatomy of Melancholy. If you are referring to clinical depression, of course, that is a very different thing.

Most likely this. First, get the hell away from here.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[mvball69]

Good luck.

I also think finding a passion can really help. I have had to give up a lot of the things i am passionate about, or be interested in them in a different way. I had practised yoga with moderate interest in the past but retook it up recently with a new passion, though less ability, and it now find it is is real guiding light in my life. It provides some of the exercise i like, and support, and some good thought too. The techniques also help me when I am arguing with myself. I am a bit of a yoga evangelist, because I feel if it can help me it could anyone who would try and found a good teacher who was about yoga, not about vanity yoga.

They have yoga classes at the company I work for I might also give that a try. Thanks for that suggestion.

I just got done working out, and I can tell you though it is hard to get myself there, the thrill of having done it and having it behund me for the day really lasts a while

I agree with you on the passion part also. I used a extreme like of a certain subject to get myself back on the road visiting not only the places of interest to me, but my family and friends as well.

Thanks again for information and suggestions, I am going to start incorporating ones I don't already have going on in my life

 

[Lancecastor]

Bill Cosby spent a lifetime filling holes....and look where it landed HIM.

 

[mvball69]

This is one of the things I love about Lit, all of the support one can find here. I want to thank everyone for their suggestions and ideas, I think I can see myself going in a different direction than normal for 2016, You have all given me some things to think about and add to my daily routine Again thanks to everyone.

 

[mvball69]

Bill Cosby spent a lifetime filling holes....and look where it landed HIM.

You got a point! The other thing I love about Lit, you don't have to go far for a good laugh

 

[BabblingBrooke]

That is so very true.







Can I get you a drink?

It's a trap!

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Depression is useful, erections are useful. Theres a time and place for both. Keep both in your tool box.

But! If depression wears out its welcome here's what I got my patients to do to put depression back in the took box:

We know what makes us happy. Its no mystery like winning lotto numbers. So when youre feeling blue do what makes you happy. The change wont occur instantly but it will come if you stick to it for a bit. Its faster than dieting!

I'm the Michael Jordan for pissing people off. No one does it better. I can piss you off in ways you cant imagine. So when I usta deal with people in the grips of suicide, they were fuggin doing it! I simply pissed them off. Pissed off puts people in an impossible bind. Their anger (depression) is so strong they must assault you first. I take it outta their hands.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[ElizabethWest]

I describe mine as a sort of odd pain behind my sternum.

Also, for any that it helps, we have a mental health thread in bdsm, and I'm sure non bdsmers would be very welcome . Just sometimes to have somewhere to put things in writing helps see the perspective and there are lovely, lovely people there.

ElizabethWest, if you need to chat ever....you must feel free to reach out to any of us who know you, like on the Que thread, or in a pm to some one you feel comfortable with there are those who would hear you while you find your way through.

Elle, you are a true joy to know. And thank you for the suggestions.

 

[Debbie]

Talk to your dr. If you have a good dr then confide in them and see if you can get some therapy or talk throughyour options. Ask if you might need vitamin D

Studies show that animals can reduce tension and improve mood. Along with treatment, pets can help some people with mild to moderate depression feel better.

Lemon water can also prep up your mood and might help relieve you from depression and stress.

Essential oils might help

http://essentialoilbenefits.com/what-are-the-best-essential-oils-for-anxiety-and-depression/


Go for a walk in nature. Join a walking group and pal up - exercising and making new friends or having social contact


Although severe cases of depression or anxiety cannot be cured through the use of essential oils alone, they can definitely help you on your way to reduce stress and relax body and mind.

Some people find vlogging, blogging or having a journal can help.

Diet can help too.

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/diet-recovery

Reach out if you need help and you aren't ok.

 

[Aquagal]

Exercise

 

[gypsyTX]

It depends on how bad it is. Sometimes eating chocolate helps. Sometimes going for a walk or a run with my dog works better. Sometimes I work out until I just can't move anymore, but that's not really good because you can get hurt that way. And sometimes, I just need to say fuck it and smoke a cigarette or two. I very rarely do that though.

Also, putting a smile on your face even if you don't feel like it will help your mood. I don't remember where I heard about it, but this article sums it up fairly well. Obviously this won't help with serious depression, but it is a tool you can use those days when you feel a little off.

 

[Noor]

Keeping as good a daily routine as possible, getting up early and seeing the sun rise in the shorter days..and keeping that time you get up constant, especially when you feel low.

Some exercise, preferably in fresh air, just a walk, every day.

Smiling at people, saying hello.

Eating well, healthily and making less healthy things form only a small part of your diet. ( say an 80/20 rule....or better)

Keeping clean, and presenting oneself well.

Medication

I agree with the above and would like to add a few things.

Walk every day for at least 45 mins.
Always look presentable so you are prepared to do fun activities on a moments notice.
Make sure your wardrobe meets the needs of all aspects of your life.
Have scheduled events throughout the year, and see your friends at least once a week.
Have a weekly art date, be it museums, making art, writing or listening to live music.
What your favorite old movies that make you laugh throughout the year.
Volunteer

 

[mvball69]

When mine is at its worst, and it has been bad the past couple of weeks, it feels like a gaping hole in my chest and the pain is very real. I agree there is no way to achieve happy 24/7. I just wish I could find a way to find an even balance. It is in the little, everyday things that you mention that one can find peace. I'm just having trouble getting there it seems. Thank you for sharing.

I describe mine as a sort of odd pain behind my sternum.

Also, for any that it helps, we have a mental health thread in bdsm, and I'm sure non bdsmers would be very welcome . Just sometimes to have somewhere to put things in writing helps see the perspective and there are lovely, lovely people there.

ElizabethWest, if you need to chat ever....you must feel free to reach out to any of us who know you, like on the Que thread, or in a pm to some one you feel comfortable with there are those who would hear you while you find your way through.

I never thought of my pains being related to my depressions, but listening to you two describe how it effects you, it makes more and more sense to me. I think also in a way it becomes a Catch 22 for me because when I am not feeling well meaning that tightness in my chest or the upset stomach, IBS, etc the sadness feeds on itself. I guess that is why the working out for me helps because the physical accomplishment tends to make me feel better about my health.

Talk to your dr. If you have a good dr then confide in them and see if you can get some therapy or talk throughyour options. Ask if you might need vitamin D

Studies show that animals can reduce tension and improve mood. Along with treatment, pets can help some people with mild to moderate depression feel better.

Lemon water can also prep up your mood and might help relieve you from depression and stress.

Essential oils might help

http://essentialoilbenefits.com/what-are-the-best-essential-oils-for-anxiety-and-depression/


Go for a walk in nature. Join a walking group and pal up - exercising and making new friends or having social contact


Although severe cases of depression or anxiety cannot be cured through the use of essential oils alone, they can definitely help you on your way to reduce stress and relax body and mind.

Some people find vlogging, blogging or having a journal can help.

Diet can help too.

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/diet-recovery

Reach out if you need help and you aren't ok.

I appreciate the suggestions Debbie and some of these I have employed and do help.

The funny thing is that I was seeing a psychiatrist a few years back and he put me on medication. I would see him once a month (and that meant an hour drive there and back besides the hour in his office). That medication made my situation worse but I couldn't see it through all the other stuff going on. During the time i was being "treated" I was listless, didn't do anything after work, but come home eat and then lie on the couch. Had little desire to do anything, feared driving, didn't fear dying, wish wish I would at times, and gained 33 pounds!!
Finally it took me realizing I didn't want to live my life in fear, I wanted to see family, I wanted to be with friends, I wanted my life back, so I got of the medication myself and quit seeing my doctor, neither were any good for me.
I said all of that to say, I am leery of Doctors anymore, though I do have a therapist I trust and will see form time to time.

 

[mvball69]

I agree with the above and would like to add a few things.

Walk every day for at least 45 mins.
Always look presentable so you are prepared to do fun activities on a moments notice.
Make sure your wardrobe meets the needs of all aspects of your life.
Have scheduled events throughout the year, and see your friends at least once a week.
Have a weekly art date, be it museums, making art, writing or listening to live music.
What your favorite old movies that make you laugh throughout the year.
Volunteer

It depends on how bad it is. Sometimes eating chocolate helps. Sometimes going for a walk or a run with my dog works better. Sometimes I work out until I just can't move anymore, but that's not really good because you can get hurt that way. And sometimes, I just need to say fuck it and smoke a cigarette or two. I very rarely do that though.

Also, putting a smile on your face even if you don't feel like it will help your mood. I don't remember where I heard about it, but this article sums it up fairly well. Obviously this won't help with serious depression, but it is a tool you can use those days when you feel a little off.

Good suggestions all and thank you for them. The common element here is exercise, and I do believe that is one that really works for me when I get in a real down period though the effect is sometimes limited time wise.

Also I notice at work especially that if I am not in a good mood the best way to get myself out of it is to makes sure that I say hello and am personable to everyone that I walk by whether I know them well or not. The shear act of being positive and open seems to help. So I tend to agree with you Gypsy on the smile

 

[mvball69]

One other thing that my therapist told me a few years back.... always have something to look forward to.... and this also works well for me though I have tended to get away from it. In 2016 though I hope to put it to good use again.

I find that when I have something planned out about 4-6 weeks in advance that I really want to do and am looking forward to it, that time leading up to it is so much easier on me and mentally more balanced.

Simple things like going to see family (whihc for me requires a minimum of a 5 hour drive), going to visit historical places (a passion that I have), planning my birthday weekend, going for day trips, looking forward to my annual golf trip with friends, etc are things that help me when I am not feeling so upbeat. I think my therapist really earned her respect form me with this one