Girls and Male Performance

[Mac98]

Hey guys,

Don't worry, this isn't another "Where Are We?" thread. I doubt you'll need to get your flaming gear out .

I'm starting this thread for a specific reason. I was on facebook a couple of days ago when one of the girls on my "friends" list started talking shit about her ex-boyfriend for everyone to see. She stated things like how he has a crooked penis, premature ejaculator, has sex like a fish (don't know what that means, but I do admit to laughing at it) and how he's never been able to please any woman he's been with.

Wild claims, I know, and we're all right to speculate at the validity of what she's saying, but still... I sometimes feel girls aren't totally aware of what performance means to a guy... especially at times when it's out of our control (crooked penis, PE). <-- Small size can also be added but she didn't mention this.

Granted, the girl whom I speak of is young and stupid, but I think this is a general rule. Maybe a lot of you wouldn't go as far as posting it on a public forum, but still. It's like if men laughed at the size of your breasts or your blowing skills. It's just not something you should do.

What I thought was interesting about the Facebook ordeal is that not only did she get a lot of hate comments, all the guys seemed to stick together on this one. I think this is because it's a general rule for guys to not speak of these things. I like to think, whether we're handicapped down under or not, that we understand what it means and therefore don't laugh at the less fortunate ones.

I don't have a question per se, but I'm curious to see what your thoughts are on this.


And just to lighten the mood, if ever any of you end up taking offense:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9oxmRT2YWw

 

[subwannabe]

Unfortunately, I don't think you live in the real world. You mentioned she was talking about her "ex". You know the situation better than I do but it sounds like you thought she was being sincere about her critiques, but that you thought she was being insensitive about the possible harm she could cause. I took it more like she was blabbering shit about an ex she was probably mad at and most of it wasn't even true. In that case I don't think anyone would believe her anyway.

 

[jenni7]

Girls are very aware of guys anxiety of their performance and handicaps "down under" that is exactly why she chose a public forum to express her hate for him at the moment. She's behaving in an immature, abrasive manner that is very telling about what kind of "person" she is. It sounds to me like she is looking to be validated herself and is lashing out for whatever reason. He's lucky to be rid of her if this is how she deals with things. I would assume that she feels he has done her "wrong" in some manner and this is payback. She has a lot of growing up to do.

On another note, not that i am all that experienced but coming from a womans perspective its not what you have down there (and i've heard crooked can be pretty awesome) but it's how you use it.

 

[bailadora]

Sometimes I wonder about the people you associate with, Mac.

I'm with Jenni: women know precisely how much guys suffer over performance anxiety, which is why this gal is hitting below the belt, so to speak. She's being a bitch and going for maximum pain. It speaks volumes about her character.

 

[Mac98]

Unfortunately, I don't think you live in the real world. You mentioned she was talking about her "ex". You know the situation better than I do but it sounds like you thought she was being sincere about her critiques, but that you thought she was being insensitive about the possible harm she could cause. I took it more like she was blabbering shit about an ex she was probably mad at and most of it wasn't even true. In that case I don't think anyone would believe her anyway.

As I mentioned, there is the possibility that what she's saying is all complete lies. But be it as it may, it's still a terrible thing to do. Whether she's being honest or not is kind of irrelevant at this point... at least in my opinion

Girls are very aware of guys anxiety of their performance and handicaps "down under" that is exactly why she chose a public forum to express her hate for him at the moment. She's behaving in an immature, abrasive manner that is very telling about what kind of "person" she is. It sounds to me like she is looking to be validated herself and is lashing out for whatever reason. He's lucky to be rid of her if this is how she deals with things. I would assume that she feels he has done her "wrong" in some manner and this is payback. She has a lot of growing up to do.

On another note, not that i am all that experienced but coming from a womans perspective its not what you have down there (and i've heard crooked can be pretty awesome) but it's how you use it.

Everyone's heard that before, yet push comes to shove, someone who fucks like a fish and has PE is probably not that talented. Sure, you can learn how to have sex with time and experience (and I guess tips off lit lolll) but there are some things that are out of our control and I think people should be a little more understanding of that (this includes women AND men). I don't know how awesome a crooked penis can be, but she didn't seem to think it was all that great. But in the end I agree: he's probably better off without her. I just think these types of things should NEVER be discussed publicly (without the other person's consent, I guess) and even worse, should never be thrown back in someone's face after a disagreement... my two cents.

 

[coastal-boy]

I don't have a question per se, but I'm curious to see what your thoughts are on this.

I think some people will always have a high school mentality. Obviously, she felt hurt and lashed out in a manner that would hurt him back.

 

[silverwhisper]

what jenni said. i say unfriend her and move on.

ed

 

[Mac98]

what jenni said. i say unfriend her and move on.


ed

I unfriended her yesterday. I kept her because curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to see how her ex boyfriend would react. To be honest, this doesn't really affect me all that much, there's nothing to "move on" from. I was simply posting this to see what others' thoughts were on it.

I agree. Also, I think that both sexes make derogatory comments about exes' sexual abilities, but they pick different venues...at the risk of over-generalizing, I've heard plenty of guys talk about female performance, good and bad, with their buddies, as entertainment. Girls seem to mock guys to hurt. I think putting it on the internet where you can never get it back is worse than talking about it to friends privately in either context...

I agree. My best friend is constantly judgeing everyone he sleeps with (I think deep down he compares them to his ex, who he's still not over). It's degrading to those girls (since I know about 3 quarters of them) and I don't usually care very much, but I don't pretend this is a one-sided issue. But I just wasn't sure to what extent women understood what these things mean to guys.

 

[SweetErika]

Sometimes I wonder about the people you associate with, Mac.

I'm with Jenni: women know precisely how much guys suffer over performance anxiety, which is why this gal is hitting below the belt, so to speak. She's being a bitch and going for maximum pain. It speaks volumes about her character.

Exactly. I've said it before, and I'll say it again You seem to attract/hang around more than your fair share of people who are immature, cruel, selfish, drama-loving mindfuckers, Mac. It sounds like it's well past time to reconsider the company you keep, online and IRL, because these people don't seem to add anything positive to your life and could be contributing to your discontent, anger, etc.

We know how much cocks, sexual skills, reputations and egos mean to men, even as teens. If we didn't, we wouldn't exaggerate compliments or fake it. Similarly, most guys are well aware how digs at a woman's body or performance can be to her, which is why they frequently insult those things when they're mad or looking to hurt. It goes both ways.

Maybe she meant he fucks like a "cold fish," which is a common term for someone who's not passionate, interactive, into reciprocating, etc.

I don't think PE makes a guy a bad lover at all. At least not if they' use more that their cocks and are into pleasing their partners.

 

[PennLady]

I'd hope it wasn't just "the guys" sticking together, but anyone with half a sense of common decency. Jesus, what is it with people doing stuff like that? What an immature, idiotic thing for the woman to do. She's shown her true character here, I think, and if she can't handle having an ex better than this, she's not likely to have much in the future. I hope she's just young and stupid, b/c then there's hope she'll get a little wiser.

 

[Mac98]

Exactly. I've said it before, and I'll say it again You seem to attract/hang around more than your fair share of people who are immature, cruel, selfish, drama-loving mindfuckers, Mac. It sounds like it's well past time to reconsider the company you keep, online and IRL, because these people don't seem to add anything positive to your life and could be contributing to your discontent, anger, etc.

We know how much cocks, sexual skills, reputations and egos mean to men, even as teens. If we didn't, we wouldn't exaggerate compliments or fake it. Similarly, most guys are well aware how digs at a woman's body or performance can be to her, which is why they frequently insult those things when they're mad or looking to hurt. It goes both ways.

Maybe she meant he fucks like a "cold fish," which is a common term for someone who's not passionate, interactive, into reciprocating, etc.

I don't think PE makes a guy a bad lover at all. At least not if they' use more that their cocks and are into pleasing their partners.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not offended by this nor is it bringing me down. I met this girl through a friend of a friend and she happened to have a really kick ass tattoo, we talked a bit and she added me on facebook. She's not someone I know very much or really care about. It was just a situation that kind of grabbed my attention and wanted to share my views and no other people's views on it.

And lastly, I'm not sure many girls my age understand that a guy with PE is still functional lolllll. Many people see it as a form of weakness. Though ask the average guy and he'll tell you it's really not a big deal (unless he's a douche or something...).

I think people need to start letting go of these stereotypes and what a perfect sexual performer is supposed to be like... To each their own, I say!

 

[Mac98]

I'd hope it wasn't just "the guys" sticking together, but anyone with half a sense of common decency. Jesus, what is it with people doing stuff like that? What an immature, idiotic thing for the woman to do. She's shown her true character here, I think, and if she can't handle having an ex better than this, she's not likely to have much in the future. I hope she's just young and stupid, b/c then there's hope she'll get a little wiser.

Sorry, didn't see your post. But to answer your question, there were MANY more guys sticking together or telling her to delete her fucken status than girls. For every 6 guys, there was maybe 1 girl. And last time I checked, she had 76 comments on her status...

 

[swtrthnhoney]

If the guy had PE there are things that she can do as he part to assist him in not PEing. Obviously, she was too selfish to figure this out and be involved in the situation. Maybe she was too busy feeling let down. Additionally, a crooked penis could make for some interesting positions, but once again, she didn't choose to view it from that angle (no pun intended).
Whether she was lying or not, posting her comments on a public social forum lacks tact. It's one thing to vent in your best friend's company and quite another to spew it all over the internet.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

What a maggot, obviously she thinks she is alot better than him and I wonder how she would handle the same been given back to her since she obviously thinks she has the most amazing body and is the best in bed.

 

[qrayze]

OR maybe the guy really IS a turd, and that was her way of warning all the women she knew to stay away from the dickhead so they wouldn't end up in the same pain she's in!

 

[Derya]

what do people think?

I'm admitting up front here I didn't read through all the replies on the post, just your original post, but I have to say I don't know what people are thinking when they blurt personal shit all over the internet (non-anonymously), hurtful comments or just personal not appropriate comments....facebook and public computer forums are just not the place for it. The person blabbing on is giving their various circles of friends (which may include family, church, children, work etc etc) a means to form opinions on they themselves the poster, and then of course on the person they are ranting inappropriately about, but like in a real life scene the blabber is gonna get judged more poorly than the person being ranted about. Also if you don't have your privacy setting considerably restricted and those of your friends aren't.....comments on FB are like going up and down the strip at Vegas or the beach shouting your comments on a police bull horn speaker system.

2nd part of your inquiry....are people especially women really aware of how performance and sexual descriptions etc are valued to a male....yep I think they know...the friend of yours that was ranting....either way whether the stuff was true and she wanted to be vindictive or if not and she was making some junk up to piss off and maybe encourage poor opinions of the ex....it ALLLL is ridiculously childish....grade school age behavior.....but then physically being an adult does not make someone an adult.

That's my two cents....take it or leave it.

 

[Mac98]

If the guy had PE there are things that she can do as he part to assist him in not PEing. Obviously, she was too selfish to figure this out and be involved in the situation. Maybe she was too busy feeling let down. Additionally, a crooked penis could make for some interesting positions, but once again, she didn't choose to view it from that angle (no pun intended).
Whether she was lying or not, posting her comments on a public social forum lacks tact. It's one thing to vent in your best friend's company and quite another to spew it all over the internet.

PE, whether you can work around it or not, is still a mental blockage for many people. It's like a flat-chested girl being called out on it. It's entirely out of the person's control, so why even go push those buttons? Same thing with a small penis or with saggy breasts. Who cares?? It's out of our control and there's nothing we can do about it (well, I guess saggy breasts can be reshaped and whatnot), but still... I agree with all of you, it was a really low move on her part. And posting this doesn't just lack tact. I think she's just lacking a brain altogether, tbh.

OR maybe the guy really IS a turd, and that was her way of warning all the women she knew to stay away from the dickhead so they wouldn't end up in the same pain she's in!

I'm not defending what her boyfriend might have done to her (I'm not aware of what happened. I don't even know her bf) but being a vengeful person, I can assure you there were MANY other things she could've done to get even. This plan just completely backfired and she was trashed by her own facebook friends for doing this. If her boyfriend was really a dick, I PROMISE you there were many other, more effective ways, of getting even. Hits below the belt like that are ALWAYS uncalled for. You just don't do that. It's common sense.

 

[qrayze]

you enjoy drama too much

 

[coastal-boy]

Hits below the belt like that are ALWAYS uncalled for. You just don't do that. It's common sense.

ALWAYS is a very totalistic word. I have learned that there are "always" exceptions to every "always".

 

[airman2]

I clicked on the thread because the title hurt me a little in side ...

That being said airing dirty laundry, regardless if that entire list is true (which I doubt), is in poor form as far as I'm concerned.

 

[bailadora]

OR maybe the guy really IS a turd, and that was her way of warning all the women she knew to stay away from the dickhead so they wouldn't end up in the same pain she's in!

Maybe he is a turd, but to my way of thinking, her actions don't portray her in any better light. If I were a male who had maybe even the slightest bit of interest in this chick, I'd definitely be rethinking that. And from a female perspective, I'd be questioning if I wanted to remain friends with someone like this. People who turn vindictive and lash out in this manner when angry cannot be trusted to keep confidences and I don't need or want such people in my life.

 

[Mac98]

ALWAYS is a very totalistic word. I have learned that there are "always" exceptions to every "always".

If my weaknesses were used against me, you bet your ass that I'd use that person's weaknesses against them, no matter what. There ARE exceptions... some things you just don't use against others (rape and a lost relative comes to mind) but otherwise. Fuck it! You pushed your fingers in my wounds, I'll reciprocate till we're even.

This girl could've gotten even in MANY other ways. What she did is just stupid, gratuitous and she lacks a bit of understanding and sympathy... as well as a brain (imo).

 

[qrayze]

If my weaknesses were used against me, you bet your ass that I'd use that person's weaknesses against them, no matter what. There ARE exceptions... some things you just don't use against others (rape and a lost relative comes to mind) but otherwise. Fuck it! You pushed your fingers in my wounds, I'll reciprocate till we're even.

This girl could've gotten even in MANY other ways. What she did is just stupid, gratuitous and she lacks a bit of understanding and sympathy... as well as a brain (imo).

I applaud her; men's egos are far too big anyways. Every guy thinks he is the best _____, or has the best _____. I think every man deserves to be knocked down a peg or two concerning his bedroom performance. Maybe then they'd actually try learning HOW to perform!

And I'm thinking that if you had any confidence in your own bedroom performance, you wouldn't have even started this thread. You would've seen her post, maybe thought, "ouch, poor guy", and then left it at that. The way you are so up in arms about this makes one think that you take personal offence to what she said as if you, yourself, have those same problems.

Also, there are no "limits" when it comes to revenge. You can't say that some things are ok and others are not. The only choice someone has concerning revenge is to either do it or not do it. Once a person decides to take revenge on another, there is no limit to how far they will go to have it. And often, if not always, it is very damaging and destructive to one carrying it out.

 

[toshiskitten]

If my weaknesses were used against me, you bet your ass that I'd use that person's weaknesses against them, no matter what. There ARE exceptions... some things you just don't use against others (rape and a lost relative comes to mind) but otherwise. Fuck it! You pushed your fingers in my wounds, I'll reciprocate till we're even.

This girl could've gotten even in MANY other ways. What she did is just stupid, gratuitous and she lacks a bit of understanding and sympathy... as well as a brain (imo).

Yeah she could have been the bigger person and just not said anything. The best revenge she could have gotten was to just move on with her life.

It's never a good idea to stoop to such a low level and use other people's weaknesses against them even if they did it to you first. You're no better then them if you do.

 

[silverwhisper]

qrayze quoth:
i think every man deserves to be knocked down a peg or two concerning his bedroom performance.

see, and here i think that's about at classless a thing as someone can say about another person.

ed