Going soft inside her!

[TheOne908]

I just had sex with someone new and became soft in her. I only became hard again when I was eating her out and masturbating at the same time. This has happened before and i dont understand why! We were all perfect until that happened. I've already vowed to stop watching porn.(did like 2 times a day =\ ) but are there other tips? I'd REALLY appreciate any help!
Thanks

 

[SweetErika]

You said this was someone new; how long have you known her, are you friends/dating/in a LTR/or something else?

What were you using for birth control and STD protection? Is it possible those are a worry in the back of your mind?

Are there any similarities between the two instances in which this happened? For example, was it a similar relationship type, or were you using condoms alone each time?

 

[txboyalone]

Stop thinking about baseball and start thinking of that wonderfull women you are making love to...

Seriously, when that has happened to me I find that I am not in the moment. One part of my brain is thinking about the sex, but another part is thinking about some problem at work or how to work out a story ending.

Relax a little, start talking about what you both enjoy the most about sex and find out what your partner really enjoys having done to them. Then concentrate on making them happy and you can pretty much lose your self in the moment. Good luck

PS: There is all ways Viagra if none of the above work.

 

[TheOne908]

im 19! Viagra a little much? Last resort?

Maybe I did have something in the back of my mind, but she's on the ring so I wasnt using a condom nor did I have any worry that she has an STD. Maybe I was just nervous about pleasing her that I forgot about pleasing myself.

Could the porn be a reason?

 

[emap]

Was she doing something you didn't like? You know, moving, not moving, humming the tune to Jeopardy and such.

No seriously, I had a lover who did not want me to move, would have been fine if he actually knew what he was doing but different subject.

Did you watch porn an hour or two before tossing into bed with her? I suppose no harm in watching porn, just you know, not any less than say 3 hours before she comes over for some bed action.

Also, I think would be best if you varied the type of porn you watch, like say, if you doing a black woman, watch white women porn, if your sleeping with a black guy, watch straight porn, or gay porn if you happen to be a women. I know your not a woman just tossing that out for no particular reason.

It's not so much not playing with yourself as staying interested in who will get into bed with you, which more or less means don't watch porn featuring his/her type. Alternate method, use Literotica as your porn, I don't think to many stories will feature your girlfriend or a look alike.

 

[TheOne908]

Was she doing something you didn't like? You know, moving, not moving, humming the tune to Jeopardy and such.

No seriously, I had a lover who did not want me to move, would have been fine if he actually knew what he was doing but different subject.

Did you watch porn an hour or two before tossing into bed with her? I suppose no harm in watching porn, just you know, not any less than say 3 hours before she comes over for some bed action.

Also, I think would be best if you varied the type of porn you watch, like say, if you doing a black woman, watch white women porn, if your sleeping with a black guy, watch straight porn, or gay porn if you happen to be a women. I know your not a woman just tossing that out for no particular reason.

It's not so much not playing with yourself as staying interested in who will get into bed with you, which more or less means don't watch porn featuring his/her type. Alternate method, use Literotica as your porn, I don't think to many stories will feature your girlfriend or a look alike.

Thanks for the advice everyone!

She wasnt doing anything wrong at all. She was actually doing EVERYthing I liked! The porn thing im gonna stop completly till monday(next time we hang out) and see if that made a difference. You make good points though with the watching opposites.

 

[Eilan]

A former partner of mine once admitted that he almost always had trouble getting or maintaining an erection the first few times he was with a new partner. Some of it was nerves/performance anxiety, but he was also paranoid about unintended pregnancy.

You could try not jerking off to porn and see what happens. You could also try not overthinking things. The surefire way to allow this to keep happening is to keep thinking about it.

Good luck.

 

[Chicklet]

I just had sex with someone new and became soft in her. I only became hard again when I was eating her out and masturbating at the same time. This has happened before and i dont understand why! We were all perfect until that happened. I've already vowed to stop watching porn.(did like 2 times a day =\ ) but are there other tips? I'd REALLY appreciate any help!
Thanks

Good advice posted so far, so I just wanted to add that I've experienced this before. From new partners and long term partners. And it's never a huge deal.

Just want to reassure you that you're not the only one and the chick in your life is going to understand. = )

 

[DrHappy]

Are you taking any medications, especially antidepressants for antihistamines? Any chance that you may be diabetic? Overweight? Depressed?

 

[SweetErika]

im 19! Viagra a little much? Last resort?

Maybe I did have something in the back of my mind, but she's on the ring so I wasnt using a condom nor did I have any worry that she has an STD. Maybe I was just nervous about pleasing her that I forgot about pleasing myself.

Could the porn be a reason?

Why did porn come to mind as a possible explanation for you?

If you think it's an issue, it probably is. People (as women can lose their arousal and have trouble coming, too) have trouble for a wide variety of reasons, from stress to their upbringing and values to getting too used to masturbation and beyond. So, yeah, porn could be a problem for some.

If you're not ready, willing and able to be a good father for the rest of your life, you'd be wise to use an additional method of birth control. And, even virgins can have diseases/infections.

 

[TheOne908]

Are you taking any medications, especially antidepressants for antihistamines? Any chance that you may be diabetic? Overweight? Depressed?

None of the above Dr. Happy =) Thanks though


I thought it might be that because maybe since I was orgasming so often(from masturbating), that my body has had too much "sex" already. lol idk, maybe I over thought that too much.

Also, I'm thinking maybe I am just one of those people that when I do it with a new person i'm just nervous about my performance!(There was alot of pressure on me!, shes 22 im 19). I REALLLY hate condoms so any chance I get to not use them, I take! People I have 2nd thoughts on, i'll use one.

Worst comes to worse.. Viagra at 19 bad? Dependancy become a problem? How early do I have to take it before the ... act?

 

[Belle_Ringer]

The reason could be anything you think it could be. Seriously. There's a reason people call the mind the most important sex organ.

You mention that you felt intimidated, that you felt "a lot of pressure". That alone might be it. Combine that with the new person and worries that you might not last because you've been masturbating a lot (if you had that in the back of your mind too) and you have a veritible recipe for what happened.

Chicklet is right. Men are usually way more worried over this than women are. And if for some reason it happens again, try to remember that there is more to you than a penis. You have a mouth and fingers, use them and relax. She won't bite your head off, mantis boy.

 

[PoeticMusings53]

I just had sex with someone new and became soft in her. I only became hard again when I was eating her out and masturbating at the same time. This has happened before and i dont understand why! We were all perfect until that happened. I've already vowed to stop watching porn.(did like 2 times a day =\ ) but are there other tips? I'd REALLY appreciate any help!
Thanks

Age?

Wake up with a boner?

Depression? Diet? Exersize?

 

[TheOne908]

Age?

Wake up with a boner?

Depression? Diet? Exersize?

19, ya every day i wake up with one =X

No depression. I dont eat too well but im still in great shape and exercise ALOT

 

[Eilan]

Worst comes to worse.. Viagra at 19 bad? Dependancy become a problem? How early do I have to take it before the ... act?

You're not seriously considering Viagra?

Obsessing over what happened, like you are in this thread, only guarantees that it's going to keep happening.

 

[necroerotica]

Worst comes to worse.. Viagra at 19 bad? Dependancy become a problem? How early do I have to take it before the ... act?

Remember that Viagra won't make you more horny, it won't improve your performance or turn you into a stallion. The beauty of it is that it helps take care of the physical/mechanical act of gaining and maintaining an erection, freeing up your mind to concentrate on other things - like using the erection.

Some things to remember though - viagra responds to *your* mental state. If you're not turned on in other words, it won't work nearly as well. If your mind is elsewhere, if you're concentrating on some other issues in your head in the middle of sex, or if you're turned off for any reason, then your erection will weaken.

I've had instances where, even with viagra, I've nearly lost my hard-on simply because I had other issues running round in my head.

Another lesser-mentioned side effect - when you wake in the morning, it's still in your system. Those morning-glory's you wake up with? Yeah. You'll be able to knock bricks out of mortar with them, whether you're turned on or not. Normally, a pee and scratch will get rid of the ol' morning glory - with V in your system, it may take a bit longer Fine if you're having a lie in, not so good when you're running late for work

You take it approx. 1 hour before you expect to be getting down to action - I've found it to kick in after 20 mins though. It'll stay in your system (depending on dosage) for up to maybe 6-8 hours.

Be prepared for 'flushing' in your face as well - it's working on your circulatory system. If you're prone to headaches, it can bring one on in some cases.

And no, it's not addictive, at least not in a chemical sense. Always remember - you're using it to restore your confidence. You're using it to prove to yourself that you *are* good in bed, that you *can* please your partner, and you *can* make her swing from the light fittings. Once you've proved that to yourself, you realise that your dick *does* work, and you can use it all by yourself, without the need for any little blue pills.


One final note - ALWAYS get it initially from your doctor, NOT some spam-mail that landed in your in-box. Viagra works by messing with your circulatory system, your doctor will check you out to make sure you're not going to keel over as soon as you take one.

It's wonderful, wonderful stuff, and when I've needed it I havn't been able to sing its praises loud enough.
But always read the small print.
One of the more rare side effects listed on the notes inside the box?
Death.
Seriously.
That one made me laugh.
I still asked my doctor about it the next time I saw him

 

[EveAnna]

It was probably stress related. You said she's 22 and you are 19 - maybe you were trying a little too much to impress her and it got to you and you went soft.

Thing is, if you are worrying about it, it could happen again. But I don't think it would have anything to do with watching porn.