Halfway house for lazy and ineffective dominants

[niteshade]

*Looks with longing at the diamond collars she has rounded up, and tries to remember when the last time she had any sexual satisfaction was *

 

[Mr Blonde]

Just for niteshade

I can't promise sexual gratification, but here is some low grade porn....

Let me see if I can work it into a bedtime story.

Ahem! *clears throat*

I have not masturbated in a week so I go to Sublime Directory. I want to make it quick so I go straight to the Diamond Section. They have such intriguing titles...

busty milf fucked by young boy
petite cutie teen fucked hard behind by a huge dick and swaloow the cum
pregnant girl fucked silly
super white and smooth blonde have smahed by a black hard cock
a face with a cum from a big black dick from the wall
hot euro babe treated into two horny guys
two subbies get terrorized by lazy dom
ffm in studio with hot pornstars
short haired chick masturbates using a big dildo
stunning blonde got her mouth overflowing with cum
beautiful blonde treated into the ass
skinny babe lick and fucked roughly

And then I see it!

hardcore anus drilling

Just the thing for niteshade!

(Is it getting creepy yet?)

So I click on the link and see we have a little story. There is a guy known as the "Rectal Rooter" and his services include housecalls where he sticks his dick in lonely housewives' asses.

Here is a lonely housewife...maybe she offers him a drink?

 

[Mr Blonde]

Yes, she really looks like a housewife who has stayed home from work to wait for the Rectal Rooter to make a housecall. And look at the dude...I think it actually says "Rectal Rooter" on his shirt pocket.

So...what does the Rectal Rooter do first? Apparently some sort of examination!

 

[Mr Blonde]

Now they are making small talk. He is being witty and she is flirting with him. This is where the romance happens.

Oh, and that kitchen in the background is like 100x nicer than the place where I live!

 

[Mr Blonde]

Sudden transition to...hardcore fucking!

They have moved to the pool area. He is throttling her so he doesn't lose balance. Their various genital piercings have become entangled and she is groaning in agony. Two feet away a lonely, neglected camera becomes squeamish and turns away from the "hot action"...

It looks like there is a workout bench further in the background. I've always wanted to use such "furniture" in a "scene" but haven't got around to it yet!

 

[Mr Blonde]

Oops, how about a picture?

 

[Mr Blonde]

Grand Finale

As promised, now we move to the ass-fucking!

He is doing the double-handed plunge and she is using one hand to rub herself and the other to hold her asschecks apart...always a classy pose!

So there you have it...that's as much as can be shown without buying their DVD. The rest is left to our imagination. I see the Rectal Rooter getting in his van and going home to his boyfriend in West Hollywood. As for the deflowered anal whore, I see her pimp stopping by to take her money and give her a few hour's worth of oxycontin!

The End

Now wasn't that a sweet bedtime story?

 

[Mr Blonde]

Oops, now it is over!

Want to know the biggest laugh? The title at the top of the webpage for this pictures was...

hot teen amateur

I don't know if "hot" is appropriate, but I definitely don't think she was either a teen or an amateur.

 

[Mr Blonde]

I'm putting the band back together...

Someone roll out the red carpet, because Mr Blonde is getting ready to his triumphant return after a month's hiatus. Back to the Dancing Kitty, back to the Dom/me Calendar and back to my imaginary internet relationships!



Uh oh, where are they?

 

[RJMasters]

Jumps for joy

I am so excited I just had to come and show off my 100% genuine plastic sub decoder mood ring I got. It took me 3 weeks of nervious anticipation for it to finally arrive.

:holds up hand

Wait I know what your thingking, seems like a lot of work to get a ring, but let me tell ya what this little baby can do!

It has a little dial on the top there which I can turn back and forth. One way it tells me the mood of my online sub. I twist it the other way and it tells me how I should respond. It works with colors, and I got the chart hung up onthe wall next to my computers for quick reference.

I was hoping to test it out, but I am too lazy to actually find a sub, so was wondering if I could borrow yours for a few weeks? You know to test it out.

Now I don't even have to think to correctly Dom my online subs. Just twist and follow the instructions...pretty slick eh...

I bet your envious.

 

[FungiUg]

Don't be silly -- didn't you know about the sub attracting feature? Look, if you twist that little button on the side there, yep, that one, and hold it down... it will attract the nearest sub. Just make sure you're not anywhere near the...


CRASH


ocean. Damn. Another Russian sub...

 

[RJMasters]

Hahaha

Oh fuck! that was funny!

You almost made me spit coke.

 

[Mr Blonde]

*lets the suspense build*

Oh my, once again I got busy and did not have time to play in Literotica-Land!

 

[RJMasters]

*lets the suspense build*

Oh my, once again I got busy and did not have time to play in Literotica-Land!

Opens one eye....and rolls over and kicks FungiUg. Hey wake up...look what the cat dragged in. He's back.

I just hope he's brought some beer. I was too lazy to go to the store and get some.

 

[Mr Blonde]

*sets a six pack of Coors Light on the table for the Dommies*

*puts a bag of gummy bears on the floor for the subbies*

Want to see how lazy I am?

I sign into my Yahoo account:

[niteshade's account] (8/19/2004 1:31:04 AM): hey



So sad that I missed my lil subbie niteshade plus nearly a month has passed. How neglectful can one Dom be?

 

[Mr Blonde]

I have been conducting experiments at bondage.com by sending crude emails to women. So far 37 out of 40 have written me back, and at least 80% would most likely welcome more correspondance.
Maybe I am easily amused.

 

[Mr Blonde]

I vow to finish my Dom/me calendar and catch up on all my correspondence!

I saw Cellular and The Forgotten in theaters. Both were...eh, blah.

Cellular = 4/10 (really 3/10, but I was drunk so maybe judging too harshly)

The Forgotten = 5/10 (really 3/10, but there were three cool scenes and I like looking at Julianne Moore)

 

[Mr Blonde]

Hmmm...somehow I will have to cram four months of the Dom/me calendar into the month of December.

Hopefully my schedule will clear up a bit...

 

[Mr Blonde]

Crazy as it sounds, I have completely emptied my backlog of new thread ideas for Lit-BDSM. I have also made a bunch of "update" posts, and thanks to some help the Dom/me calendar is complete. My desk is completely cleared off now!

 

[FungiUg]

You know what empty desks are good for, right?!!!

*falls asleep over the desk*

 

[snowy ciara]

I thought it was for bending a person over and, oh, never mind. Another typical newbie mistake.