Happy Holidays My Ass

[Guest]

Yule?

Log?

 

[Liar]

Log?

What rolls down stairs
and over the chairs
and into your neighbor's dog?
It fits on your back,
It's good for a snack,
Everyone knows it's log.
It's log, it's log,
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's log, it's log,
it's better than bad, it's good.

 

[Guest]

What rolls down stairs
and over the chairs
and into your neighbor's dog?
It fits on your back,
It's good for a snack,
Everyone knows it's log.
It's log, it's log,
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's log, it's log,
it's better than bad, it's good.

LOL! That made me laugh. Almost as good as the meatball song.

 

[Honey123]

LOL! That made me laugh. Almost as good as the meatball song.

I love that!

Do you remember how "On Top of Ol Smokey" goes?

 

[Guest]

I love that!

Do you remember how "On Top of Ol Smokey" goes?

No, I only remember the meatball version.

 

[Honey123]

No, I only remember the meatball version.

The meatball version was to the tune of On Top of Ol Smokey...

I can't find the lyrics...but I remember it going:

On Top of Ol Smokey,
All covered with snow,
I lost my poor sweetheart


and then of course I cannot remember the rest!!!!

 

[Guest]

Yeah, I know, but I don't know the words, either.

This is the meatball one:

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze.

Lou

P.S. Lew, sorry for the threadjack. Well, kind of. Ish.

 

[Honey123]

Sorry, Lew


But to make good and be true to the thread, I do say Merry Christmas to everyone. There are times that I say Happy Holidays...or Happy Christmas...but the Happy Christmas is usually when I am too drunk and kinda mix my thoughts.

 

[Guest]

But it is HAPPY CHRISTMAS. Or should be!

And this thread has come full circle. Luvvit!

 

[SlickTony]

I learned a version that ended:

It rolled down the sidewalk
And into the street
And now my poor meatball
Is not fit to eat.

 

[oggbashan]

For Tatelou

One Meatball

A little man walked up and down,
He found an eating place in town,
He read the menu through and through,
To see what fifteen cents could do.

One meatball, one meatball,
He could afford but one meatball.

He told the waiter near at hand,
The simple dinner he had planned.
The guests were startled, one and all,
To hear that waiter loudly call, "What,

"One meatball, one meatball?
Hey, this here gent wants one meatball."

The little man felt ill at ease,
Said, "Some bread, sir, if you please."
The waiter hollered down the hall,
"You gets no bread with one meatball.

"One meatball, one meatball,
Well, you gets no bread with one meatball."

The little man felt very bad,
One meatball was all he had,
And in his dreams he hears that call,
"You gets no bread with one meatball.

"One meatball, one meatball,
Well, you gets no bread with one meatball."

 

[SlickTony]

"...you gets no bread with one meatball."

I grew up hearing this from my parents, usually in response to something that I wanted that they weren't going to come across with. They never did explain where it came from. Thanks, Ogg, it's good to know at last.

 

[Boxlicker101]

The meatball version was to the tune of On Top of Ol Smokey...

I can't find the lyrics...but I remember it going:

On Top of Ol Smokey,
All covered with snow,
I lost my poor sweetheart


and then of course I cannot remember the rest!!!!

On Top of Ol Smokey,
All covered with snow,
I lost my true lover
from courtin' too slow.

For courtin's a pleasure
and parting is grief
and a false-hearted lover
is worse than a thief.

For a thief will just rob you
and take what you have
but a false-hearted lover
will lead you to the grave.

And the grave will decay you
and turn you to dust.
Not one girl in a hundred
that a poor boy can trust.

For the leaves they wither,
The roots they will die.
You'll all be forsaken
and never know why.

There are probably more verses but that's all I can think of right now.

 

[Kassiana]

It's HAPPY CHRISTMAS, not happy Twattin' holidays!!!!

Given that numerous other holidays are celebrated at that time, actually, and that even "Christmas" descended mostly from Pagan celebrations of the Unconquered Sun, Sol Invictus, I say bravo for those who include EVERYONE at this time of year!

So there!

And what's wrong with twat holidays, anyway? I'd think everyone here would be glad of them.