Help I Can't Cum (Guy)

[TheDude1869]

I recently lost my virginity to my new gf (was also a virgin) who I am head over heels for. Everything was great we have done it 3 times, each time she cums like 6 times and it lasts for 55mins or so, but there is a problem. I can't cum. I don't do drugs or anything like that. I can't cum through intercouse. No I am somewhat okay with it because she benefits, but now she is sad and thinks its her fault I can't cum and she really wants me to. I can get close every once and a while but by the time that happens she starts to hurt down there. Any help please, thanks.

 

[SweetErika]

If you can still cum when you masturbate, it's a mental problem, not a physical one (very common). For suggestions, check out these two threads, and also do a search.
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=285915
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=284948

 

[rydia57]

Also, it might be a position thing.... I've noticed alot more guys come when the girl is riding them on top, than in any other postition. Even when they're blowing them. So trying new positions helps

 

[Brainboyz]

You're probably just nervous. Try lots of different ways and make sure she knows you're enjoying yourself.

 

[Lady_Brazen]

It could be that you're trying a little to hard and simply need to relax. I remember way back when my first boyfriend and I became intimate. We were both inexperienced virgins at the time and he was having a similar problem. Eventually, I just pushed him back against the bed and took over and he came in record time.

The best way to overcome this would be to talk to your girlfriend. Together I'm sure you can come to the source of the problem and find a way to work it out. It may be embarrassing at first and hard to do, but once the two of you learn to discuss sex problems, allot of the shyness you may still have will melt away.

Most importantly, don't let your girlfriend believe that she is at fault here, and it's not necessarily yours either. When it comes time for you two to try agian, let her know that there's no pressure involved. Take things slow and enjoy yourselves and if you can't come inside of her, there are always other ways that she can pleasure you.

 

[SweetErika]

It could be that you're trying a little to hard and simply need to relax. I remember way back when my first boyfriend and I became intimate. We were both inexperienced virgins at the time and he was having a similar problem. Eventually, I just pushed him back against the bed and took over and he came in record time.

The best way to overcome this would be to talk to your girlfriend. Together I'm sure you can come to the source of the problem and find a way to work it out. It may be embarrassing at first and hard to do, but once the two of you learn to discuss sex problems, allot of the shyness you may still have will melt away.

Most importantly, don't let your girlfriend believe that she is at fault here, and it's not necessarily yours either. When it comes time for you two to try agian, let her know that there's no pressure involved. Take things slow and enjoy yourselves and if you can't come inside of her, there are always other ways that she can pleasure you.

Excellent advice! One thing you might look into is if you're nervous about birth control or STDs (yes, even virgins can have them)...are you using a method of birthcontrol you both feel confident about (e.g. the pill and a condom)? Or are you scared you're hurting her or not doing something right?

Also, you may just have to tell yourself and your gf it's not important for you to cum. Have fun pleasing eachother, but don't make orgasm your goal...just focus on how everything feels. When you're done, you can always masturbate together for release. Basically, telling yourself it's not important will take the pressure off and make it more likely to happen.

Good luck!

 

[handyscott]

But you last a long time which she loves to a point. Great for her.
I had something of the same thing.

To be direct, do you find yourself rubbing your ass in the middle of the night?
If yes, Go see your doctor NOW.
It happened to me, it turn out to be a colon pollop (sp) that was very large. Now after having it taken care of I can cum very quickly(sad). But now I can look back and it has answered many questions for me.

Hope this helps, foot note: if this is the probelem see you doctor soon as it many have cancer in it like mine, but we/they got it in time before it became a bigger issue.

 

[Different Guy]

Are you using a condom? That desensitises me totally and I go for an hour but without one I have to fight real hard not to "blow" the game!

 

[fionafans]

Could you possibly be worried about pregnancy? Maybe even subconsciously?

 

[aus_18]

mate i had the exact same problem.
im sure its a mental problem. Just think realyl hard about the feeling and think sexy thoughts. I found i came when she was lying odwn and i was on top. and i was thrusting pretty hard to. Once u blow the first time, it comes much easier again.

GOod luck. I know how u feel mate!