Help Wanted (closed)

[susurrus]

I just sat there and let Elizabeth get it out. It's what I used to do with Sarah when she'd get in these moods. It wasn't easy, but I knew it helped, just not having to cry it out alone. I had no idea for sure how the situation was, but for this kind of reaction, it was bad.

Even though I'd never been a father, I felt like I should give some kind of sage advice, but also figured I was better off just keeping my big trap shut. My presence and my empathy had to be enough right then.

The couple times I looked up, there were definitely stares from other patrons. At one point, the waitress came over and mouthed, "Is she okay?" I gave a tiny nod and let her wander away. I had no real idea whether Elizabeth would be okay, but there was nothing the waitress could do at this point, aside from ask us to take it somewhere else, and at the moment, Elizabeth was in no shape to get up and go anywhere.

Finally, the waterworks dried up... sort of. There was a huge damp spot where her head had rested, but I didn't really give a damn. Elizabeth's face was a red, snotty mess. She looked at me and gave a weak smile and a croaked apology. She tried a laugh, but her heart wasn't in it and it just came out as a little hiccup.

"It's okay. It might sound weird, given what a short time we've known one another, but I feel kind of responsible for you. You mean something to me. Maybe it's the sob story, maybe not, but I don't regret trying to comfort you. Never having anyone but my wife to comfort over the years, and now not having anyone, it was kind of nice to reach into that unused part of me. I hope it helped."

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

I nodded at him. It really had helped. Most guys got awkward around a girl when we started crying. Like we were something to fear while so emotional, not realizing that we (well some of us) just wanted someone to be hugging us in the moment and telling us it was going to be okay. To make us feel like we didn't have to be ashamed for crying or having a moment of weakness in public or in private. And though Dan's words about feeling responsible for me surprised me, and I had tried to show it with whatever energy I could conjure up, but I was sure I hadn't even managed that. God, I was sure I didn't look attractive. At all right now! I internally groaned at that, and had some mental awareness to be surprised at myself for caring about that in this moment.

I reached up to rub at my eyes, wincing a little and instead wiped at my cheeks. Fuck, I was going to need a cold towel or something pressed to them for a while. I needed a nap too. I just...I just needed out. I needed sleep, like a proper 8 hours. I needed to not be stressed out. I need to get laid! A part of my mind chimed in but I ignored it. Now wasn't the time for that.

 

[susurrus]

Aside from the obvious, I had no real idea what was going through Elizabeth's head right at the moment. What I'd just told her probably was just too damn weird, but she didn't look like she wanted to bolt or anything, so that was good.

Part of me wanted to push away a stray hair that'd fallen over her face, but I held back. As I had to keep reminding myself: whatever I was feeling toward her, she wasn't mine - in any capacity. I had to force myself to not get too familiar, for fear of scaring her off this whole endeavor.

"Maybe you ought to go get freshened up a little," I suggested. "Then we can go wherever you like."

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

I sniffled and nodded my head. God, even that hurt to do with how I was feeling. But I knew where I wanted to go. Somewhere I wouldn't be looked for right then. Somewhere I could relax. Suddenly that pool seemed real inviting...And I was still without my swimsuit. I'm not sure I have it in me to care right now... "Can we go back to your place? Please?" I croaked out, already fishing out my phone and placing it on DnD (Do not Disturb) mode with the exception being for Calls Only. The screen was bright and blinding and annoying and I couldn't have turned it off fast enough. The 'Click' of phone sounded when I hit the power button, letting me know it had locked as I shoved it back into my bag. I downed the rest of my coffee, cold as it had gotten the caffeine still helped a bit, then carefully got up to my feet. I excused myself to the ladies room to do what I could to not look like a total wreck.

 

[susurrus]

The sensation that thrilled through me was hard to pinpoint when Elizabeth practically begged, "Can we go back to your place? Please?"

"Uh... sure, if that's what you really want," I said after a couple beats. "Go get cleaned up, and I won't be offended if you want to go someplace else after you've had a little time to think.

"Go on. I'll still be here when you get back."

She got up and I watched her make her way to the ladies' room. While she was gone, I didn't know if I should be elated or terrified. I recognized a few of the faces from last week, and I was pretty sure several of them remembered me.

I tried not to let nightmare scenarios play out in my head as I waited for Elizabeth to reappear...

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

As the bathroom door swung close behind me, I sighed and walked over to the sink. Slightly cringing at my own appearance as I set my bag on the counter. I ran some cold water and splashed it up onto my face a couple times, only stepping away to get some hand towels from the dispenser and wet them under the cold water. Pressing them to my eyes for several minutes. As I stood there, I almost wanted to go back on my choice of going to his place. No one would know to look for me there except maybe my dad. But wasn't that the point? The voice in my head asked while another voice said, That's usually a bad thing! This is how a murder mystery starts! But I could only groan at both voices. They were giving me a headache. Lowering the towels from my face, I sighed and stared at myself. "That was the point...go somewhere I wouldn't be found or bothered..." I murmured to my reflection. Wetting another set of towels and pressing them to my eyes for another several long minutes.

Over all, by the time I got out of the bathroom my eyes weren't as puffy and sore anymore. I had done what I could to clean off and reapply what make up I carried on me. And I wasn't a snotty, sniffling mess anymore. So yay for small things. Dan was right where I left him. Right where he said he'd be. That little voice reminded me. I gave a small smile as I walked over. I was ready to get out of here and go with him. I had some time and clarity to think and decided I probably wouldn't strip just to swim in that pool....but I would go sit near it. At least dip my feet in and just let the calmness of that area relax me. "Ready to go?"

 

[susurrus]

Elizabeth seemed to be taking an awful long time. I almost got up to check on her, but once I finally worked up the gumption to do just that, the door to the restroom opened and out she stepped.

It was still pretty obvious what had happened, but at least she wasn't as much of a mess as the woman who'd gone in.

She gave a relieved smile when she saw me actually waiting. The state she'd been in, she probably expected me to sneak out while she was gone, regardless what I'd told her.

"Ready to go?" she asked when she got back to me. I didn't ask questions. I'd promised we'd go wherever she wanted.

Standing, I threw a tip on the table and held my elbow out to her.

"Absolutely. Let's blow this pop stand."

I led her to my car, assuming she bussed it again. As last time, I held the door as she got in...

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

I laughed at the use of the very 50's saying and followed him out to the car. Smiling as he held the door open for me. I was already feeling a little better from him making me laugh. I buckled up as he got in the car and leaned back into the seat. Watching the world go by the car window, eventually closing my eyes and leaning my head against the window. The cooled glass felt good on my skin despite the heat outside. "Do you...think we can sit and relax by the pool when we get there?" I murmured out. Looking over to him.

 

[susurrus]

I let Elizabeth relax as we drove. At one point, I thought she'd fallen asleep, but after a while, without movong her head or opening her eyes, she asked if we could go out by the pool when we got to the house.

"Whatever you want to do," I said back earnestly.

Not long after, we pulled up. Elizabeth did seem.very inclined to move when I turned off the engine, so I got out, opened her door carefully, then shook her gently.

"We're here. You okay, or do you want to sit there a while? A lounger by the pool would be a lot more relaxing."

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

I blinked my eyes a bit as he gently shook me awake. I guess I had fallen asleep. I rubbed my eyes and looked past him to the house for a second then back to him. "I'm okay, but good call on the lounger...just in case I fall asleep again." I agreed, letting him help me from the car. I yawned and stretched out my arms as I followed after him. Rubbing at my eyes to try and clear away the last remnants of my nap as we headed inside. I could already feel the much calmer atmosphere. I felt my shoulders sag with some relief. A bit of my tension fading as I placed my bag on the couch and practically booked it for the pool. Pausing only long enough to take my shoes off, leaving them by the backdoor, before I stepped out onto the back patio.

 

[susurrus]

Elizabeth nearly threw her bag down when we got inside. She wasted no time heading poolside. She kicked her shoes off along the way and stood beside the water, face to the sun.

I just watched her a minute, then stepped outside, myself.

"Can I grab you something to drink? I've got plenty of ice and I think there might be a bottle of wine around somewhere."

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

I arched a brow as he mentioned that he might have wine around here somewhere. I laughed a bit. "Wine sounds really perfect right now. And if not, water is okay too." I tell him, smiling as I turn to look at him. Brushing some of my hair from my face as I do so.

 

[susurrus]

God, it felt like a moment in a movie when Elizabeth turned my way, a smile on her face and pushing a stray hair away. Time seemed to slow and for a second, I forgot our age difference and that we barely knew one another. That she was here, only a few steps away, was all that mattered....

Then reality kicked back in and I remembered myself. Jesus Christ, I hadn't been this horny since well before Sarah's diagnosis. Fuck, I had to get hold of myself or I was going to get slapped with abuse charges.

Suddenly, I felt awkward as fuck. Stumbling back to the kitchen, I started rummaging through cabinets for that wine I claimed I might have.

Finally, I came back out with two sweating glasses of ice water.

"Sorry, I guess I was wrong," I said, handing Elizabeth one of the glasses. "Sarah was the wine drinker in the house, and I thought there might be a stray bottle lurking yet. Water'll have to do."

I sat in a chair and looked out into the water, not sure what, if anything, to say or do from here...

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

I blushed under that intense look in his eyes as he stared at me. Causing my heart to race. When he stumbled back and head inside, I turned back to the water and placed a hand over my heart. Fanning myself a bit. I had never had anyone look at me the way he had. I'd seen that look in plenty of romance movies, imagined it in plenty of books or fanfictions...but to experience it myself. Fuck, I almost felt like a school girl who was noticed by the cute senior boy. I quickly shook my head and reminded myself that not only was he older than myself, but that there was a chance he wasn't ready to move on from his wife with how often she was mentioned. And that was fine, totally normal. I guess I was in my head longer than I thought, because his voice behind me as he came back with the water startled me. I just smiled and gave him a soft, "Thank you" as I took the water and took a seat on one of the lounge chairs. Sipping my water as he tells me his wife had been the wine drinker. "Really? What kind of wine did she like?" I asked curiously. Genuinely wanting to know more about this amazing woman.

 

[susurrus]

I was lost in thought when I heard Elizabeth's voice penetrate my reverie.

"What? Oh, um, I was never fully clear on what tripped her palate as far as wine went. Not being a big drinker, it all kind of went in one ear and out the other with me, but I think she leaned toward pinot noir and that kind of thing. Nothing too sweet and nothing too dry, whatever that means. Me, I never developed a taste for alcohol. I give a sip every once in a while to see if the flavor's changed for me. I've had people hand me drinks, telling me, 'You can hardly taste the alcohol.' They're full of crap if you ask me. I can always taste the alcohol. Got no problem with folks who drink, as long as they aren't the type who drink to get wasted."

Then I stopped. I realized I'd been talking a long time and was starting to sound really judgmental. I took a drink from my glass and looked back toward the far end of the pool.

Only, I wasn't seeing the water or the leaf that floated on its surface. I saw Sarah at a tasting room, looking over the list of the wines that were available, then pointing to the card and asking if she could try this, this and this. The thing was, my wife's voice kept going back and forth from hers to Elizabeth's. Her face was a muddle of the two women, as well. As I've said before, their bodies were similar enough that the face was the only thing that varied much between them.

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

I laughed a bit as he seemed to blush from his answer turned rant. "That's fair. I like my drinks fruity and I enjoy having a drink now and then." I tell him. Smiling as I took a long sip of my water. Staring out at the calming water of the pool as I relaxed. All my previous stress seemingly melting away as I sat here.

 

[susurrus]

Elizabeth's laugh was light but welcome. I couldn't remember hearing that particular sound from her yet. At least, not today. There'd been weariness, anger, frustration, but very little of any of the positive emotions.

After she admitted her usual preference regarding alcohol, she got quiet, too.

For some reason, the silence got to me.

"Feel free to stay as long as you like. Let me know when you're ready to leave. I'd offer for you to take a swim, but you likely didn't come prepared for that."

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

"No I didn't....One of these days I will be though." I teased, grinning at him before looking down at my water. Taping my fingers along the glass as I chewed my bottom lip in thought. I didn't want to go back. I didn't know if I could. A voice in my head said I should... but what I needed was more important. And that was a decent night of sleep and to get out of here. I'd already been in contact with Mari's dad, who was thankfully still in town after her little stunt, and had been telling him it might be best she go home with him. He had thankfully agreed...

"I don't want to go back!" I said suddenly. Not letting myself back out now that I'd said it. "...I don't wanna go back, and my stuff is already packed so if I could just get accompanied back to get a box of clothes or whatever, I can worry about getting stuff here through the week." I looked over, blushing. "I-If that's....o-okay of course...."

 

[susurrus]

Elizabeth wanted to move in immediately. Fucking hell, if my cock didn't get hard almost instantaneously.

"I just thought of something. Hold on."

Going upstairs to my bedroom, I got into the closet.

When Sarah had died, I'd gone for quite a while being unable to get rid of anything. Eventually, I did part with some things. Everyday articles: pants, shirts, socks, shoes all went to thrift stores for other deserving people to get use of. Underwear, especially panties, got thrown.

However, there were some articles I couldn't part with. There was lingerie - expensive stuff that she'd wear for me when she was feeling particularly sexy. A couple of dresses - one a short, little-black-dress number that she'd worn to a friend's wedding and held onto and a really revealing evening gown-type affair that she hadn't been able to wear a bra or panties with. It'd been a one-time deal, some kind of benefit her company had thrown. There were a few pairs of shoes that I particularly liked seeing her wear that I kept, and a plastic tote.

Sarah and I had played with BDSM on occasion, so we paid the money for at least a few toys. Mostly, I was the one in charge. Sarah preferred that. However, on great occasion, she decided she wanted to drive, so there was at least one toy in that tote that we had bought for her to use on me. There were vibes and dildos - not a lot of any of it, mind you - but while I knew I should just dump the whold damn works, I also reasoned: That shit was fucking expensive, and you're just going to put it in the landfil?

So I kept it. I made sure everything was properly cleaned, then shoved the whole works in the backmost corner of the closet.

But what I was looking for was hanging with the lingerie. It wasn't very far in, so I grabbed it and headed back downstairs.

At the door to the pool, I hesitated. What was Elizabeth going to think? I'd tell her the truth, and if that still weirded her out, I'd just put it back.

Stepping outside, I held out a hanger. On it was a series of strings and three little patches of white fabric.

"Sarah ordered this online. She usually wore one-pieces, but thought she'd get this more for my benefit. It arrived three days after her diagnosis. She never tried it on and I never had the heart to ask her to. If it's too much, just say so and I'll put it away. Oh, hell, who am I kidding? I'm so very sorry. Please forgive me."

I started back into the house, humiliation burning my face.

Before I opened the door once more, I hesitated, waiting for Elizabeth to blow up...

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

"Wait!!" I got up quickly, stopping him and taking suit from him, still holding my water in the other hand. I was blushing like made and my heart was racing. This monokini was normally not what I'd wear and exposed way more skin than I'd ever shown off. In fact, I was almost sure my breasts were not made for this. "I....thank you. I-I'll at least try it on." I gave him a nervous smile and traded him my water glass before I moved past him and darted upstairs for the bathroom. Closing the door calmly behind me and hanging the suit on the towel hanger there.

Only to turn and grip the sink. My hands shaking with nerves as I looked at that suit then looked at myself. It wasn't that I didn't have the body for this, I did. I was in decent shape. But I was no model of a woman I felt Sarah must have been! And all the pictures I had seen of this gorgeous woman...I couldn't hold a candle that! I wanted to do this suit some justice so as I began to strip and bravely get myself in this swim suit, I sent a silent prayer to Sarah. Pleading her to help me and give me the strength and confidence I felt I needed for this task.

 

[susurrus]

The blow up didn't come.

Oh, Elizabeth stopped me, but it wasn't to yell and scream like I'd assumed she would. Instead, she got up, took the mass of strings and went inside.

As I stood there a minute with her glass in hand, my mind raced. She'd only said she'd "try it on." She never mentioned letting me see what she looked like in it. That was fair. As I had to keep reminding myself: we hadn't known one another for that long. Besides, even when she did take up residence with me, it wasn't that we were anything but employer/employee. She owed me nothing but a good job doing what I was hiring her to do.

Eventually, I sat. She was taking a while getting into the suit. Of course, I had no idea how anybody managed to get into those things without help. For all I knew, when she did emerge again, she could be dressed in what she'd worn to the house with the report, "It fits," or "It doesn't fit," or something along that line. She was in no means obliged to model it for me. That she was even trying it on was huge.

I just waited for her to return. I'd be happy to see her, regardless if she was in the bikini or not...

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

It took some figuring out and self talking to as I dressed to calm my nerves, but once I was in the swim suit, I kept rubbing my arms and folding them over my chest. My brain kept saying the slightest of movements would pop them out even though everything was snug and in place. My eyes scanned the rest of me and I was glad I was shaved in all the right places. Including between my legs and my bikini lines. I didn't look half bad! "Yeah but do I show him?" I questioned myself. Playing with my long brown hair, which I had taken down from its messy bun. Did I show him? I hadn't said I would.....had I? Was that even appropriate? "Sarah....would you be okay if I did show him?" I asked aloud, mostly to myself but also to her. As if she could hear me and would send some sort of sign in answer.

Taking deep breaths, I decided I would show him. So I opened the bathroom door and headed downstairs for the pool again. There I found Dan on the chair lounge still holding my water. I paused in the doorway and cleared my throat so as to not startle him, then came to stand in the sun for better lighting. "Is...is it okay? I mean, I'm sure she would have looked better in it..."

 

[susurrus]

I'd purposely sat so my back was to the door, so Elizabeth wouldn't think I was too eager to see her, if she decided to show me what the suit looked like on an actual woman.

After what felt like an hour, I heard a tentative throat clearing behind me. It told me one thing: she hadn't changed back into her street clothes.

As I turned, I steeled myself for what I was going to see. I knew it was going to be amazing...

But I wasn't prepared for what awaited.

I'd picked up Elizabeth's glass, to try and be nonchalant about the whole deal and offer it to her once more, but...

Thank god the glasses were plastic, because my grip disappeared and the glass and its contents clattered to the pavement.

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

Even though it was apparent that Elizabeth was really, really self-conscious right then, she had NO need to be.

"Uh..." was the brilliant, erudite comment that immediately popped into my overwhelmed mind, and it came spilling out of the gaping hole in the bottom of my face like the calm, collected, unaffected gentleman I was feeling like at the moment...

 

[PlayfulDevil192]

I stood there blushing the longer it seemed to take for words to form. Something other than what I had gotten, which had made me laugh despite me rubbing self consciously at my arm. It was a good thing Dan's cups were plastic, cause otherwise we'd be worrying about sharp glass and getting it cleaned up. I bit my bottom lip and squirmed a bit. Running my fingers through my hair and brushing it back to tuck behind my ears. My eyes straying from his gaping mouth and wide eyes...to trail down his body for a different sort of reaction.

 

[susurrus]

My eyes drank in the sight before me as my brain tried to put the jumble stumbling around inside it into some manner of order. Her hair was down. I hadn't seen it anything but gathered up at the back of her head until now. Dressed like this, she looked more like Sarah than ever.

"Holy fuck," was what finally developed from the dumbfoundment that thumped at my senses. "You're gorgeous."

It was then I noticed my reaction somewhere else.

'Well, hell,' my slowly returning rational mind chided, 'you're in the presence of a hot, young, nearly naked woman. You aren't a eunuch, and you ain't dead, so naturally, you're going to have that reaction.'

As my wits returned, I caught Elizabeth's gaze flick down to gauge truly how much I liked what I saw. Feeling suddenly brazen, I made sure she got a good eyeful before I shifted my position to hide my hard-on. The woman looked hot, there was no doubt about it.

"If it'd make you feel any better, I can change into something a little more "swimlike," but it won't hold a candle to what I see before me.

"Thank you so very much for trying that on. And even more, thank you for showing me what it looks like with an actual filling...

"And I love your hair like that. You should wear it down more."