Help with wooing a girl

[phantomlover23]

There is this girl at my college that I am in love with. She is fantastic in so many ways. She is a devoted catholic and religious. We are on friendly terms but I want it to be much more. I do not want to have sex with her just to start a romantic relationship. Any advice?

 

[sunandshadow]

Did you try classic stuff like flowers?

 

[LadyDusk]

Oldies but goodies

Seriously. Often the classics are classic for a reason. Complimenting her shoes. Asking her out for coffee. Offering to help her when you see she needs assistance. Being observant to the things she likes and dislikes and being genuinely interested in what she has to say about them. And yes, flowers.

 

[NightL]

I do not want to have sex with her just to start a romantic relationship. Any advice?

why not both romance and sex... chances are the romance may last longer that way. Devoted catholic girls like sex too...

LadyDusk is spot on though... be genuinely interested in her... ask her questions to start up conversations... only talk about yourself in response to a question asked of you and be brief and honest with your answer.

Cook her a meal (get advice if you don't feel condident)... make a special evening of it... invite some mutual friends along as well for the first meal... organise to go out dancing later in the evening. The next time you cook her a meal, then it can be just the two of you... and still aim to go out dancing... let her be the one to eventually suggest "let's just stay in tonight..."

If you want true romance... then it needs to be built on being best friends first along with a reasonable amount of mutual lust

Pay attention to your grooming... what makes you stand out from the rest of the pack? Don't go wearing something out of your comfort zone...

Just ask her out for a coffee - a walk - to a show then coffee/bar after - somewhere where you can talk. The worst you can get is "Sorry I am not interested" then at least you will know and the agony will be over. At best you may be having the first date with your future wife.

Good luck

 

[phantomlover23]

one problem

though is that she is very tight with her friends which makes things difficult.

 

[fire_breeze]

though is that she is very tight with her friends which makes things difficult.

So? Just because she's devout and have a close circle of friends doesn't have to be a hindrance if you really truly like this girl. It shows that she is loyal. Why does it make it difficult?

As most people said, get to know her. Be genuinely interested in her. Find common topics that interest you both. Be friendly to her friends. Do something that you both enjoy. Maybe she likes rock climbing and thinks flowers are stupid. Maybe she likes monster trucks and is the antithesis of girlie. Just because she's Catholic doesn't mean that she sits at home counting rosary beads. There isn't a definitive handbook on how to woo girls, let alone ones who are devout. Like every other human being that inhabit this planet, she is unique and individual and there isn't a wooing template. Get to know her, and work from there.

And woo her like you would every other girl - by being yourself. Okay, so you two will probably not do the horizontal tango right off the bat, but meh. But if you drastically change your personality to suit her, you'll be lying and in the end, will end up in loads of heartbreak for you both.

Good luck.

 

[sunandshadow]

though is that she is very tight with her friends which makes things difficult.

Do her friends hate you or purposely exclude you? If not, just be friendly to them. You don't have to be alone with her to act charming and gallant toward her.

 

[phantomlover23]

yeah

they can be slightly excluding.

 

[CWatson]

Probably the hardest thing in cases like that is to keep your cool. But it helps loads.

As to isolating her from the pack, just ask her to have a word with you. It doesn't have to be a big production. (In fact, keep it small so that the giggle-girl squad doesn't fire up.)

I gotta say, though, make sure you are okay with not having sex with her. The more "devoted Catholic and religious" she is, the higher the chance that she's waiting for marriage... and since God's more important to her than you, His laws trump your desires. Assume the relationship will be from the neck up. I say this from personal experience.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Firstly, avoid terms like 'wooing'.

Booze helps a lot.

 

[Somehowyou]

Firstly, avoid terms like 'wooing'.

Booze helps a lot.

So does ecstasy...hell you can even use the word "wooing" after a hit of ecstasy and a nice bottle of red wine.

 

[phantomlover23]

yeah

wooing was not the best choice.

 

[favoritesgoddess]

Just ask her out already. It shows you have balls if you're not too scared to talk to her in front of her friends. They're just girls, not barracuda. They won't bite. (Probably.)

One date idea that worked well when I was at a Catholic college is to ask her to go to Mass with you and then for coffee or a bite afterwards. (If you're not Catholic, tell her that and ask her to kind of "walk you through it.") As a Catholic girl myself, any man willing to go to Mass with me on a first date is probably going to be worth a second look.

And for the love of all things holy, be yourself.

 

[dollface007]

Just ask her out already. It shows you have balls if you're not too scared to talk to her in front of her friends. They're just girls, not barracuda. They won't bite. (Probably.)

One date idea that worked well when I was at a Catholic college is to ask her to go to Mass with you and then for coffee or a bite afterwards. (If you're not Catholic, tell her that and ask her to kind of "walk you through it.") As a Catholic girl myself, any man willing to go to Mass with me on a first date is probably going to be worth a second look.

And for the love of all things holy, be yourself.

Oooh...I like this one. But don't do it unless you are genuinely interested in going to Mass.

I was involved in the campus Catholic community...that's how I met my first boyfriend (and lost my virginity).

So few men ask women on real dates anymore, especially in college. Make it low key, but make sure she knows it's a real date. That is a way to show her you are interested in her, not just in hooking up.

 

[phantomlover23]

See

when it is just myself and her its cool but when she is with other people she gets kinda stand-off ish.

 

[kelly911]

when it is just myself and her its cool but when she is with other people she gets kinda stand-off ish.

She may seem that way if she doesnt know or isnt sure you want to be more than friends. Being in the friend zone can be tough to get out of. There isnt much you can do other than step up and let het know how you feel. (take her somewhere romantic that requires you two to be close and interactive with each other)

 

[phantomlover23]

thank

you all for the advice. It does help.

 

[rcthumper]

Send her a email, text or whatever, to just say I'm thinking of you, just that and she will be thinking of why you sent her that. Just little things to bring you into her mind. Let her know the things about her you really like. And not just looks what is really inside her, that is where the true beauty comes from.