Helping a Judgmental Partner Understand Cuckold/Bi Kinks

[CagedCuckNextDoor]

I’m hoping to hear from couples who’ve been through this. My wife is pretty judgmental and not very open when it comes to kinks, yet I have strong cuckold and bi-curious desires I’ve mostly kept hidden. I love her and don’t want to push, but I also want her to truly understand this part of me.

For those of you who’ve successfully helped a judgmental or vanilla partner understand cuckold/hotwife or bisexual kinks, how did you do it? What approach, timing, or conversations actually helped shift things from judgment toward understanding? Any real stories or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

 

[Britva415]

Make it about you and not about her.

Make sure you aren't creating any way for her to feel like here's a threat. She might feel that anyway, but if she does, it won't be because you "did it wrong."

Figure out what you want: Do you only want her to know and (hopefully) understand? Or is that a stepping stone to something else? Don't present it as just wanting to reveal your thoughts while planning to then later move the goalposts and ask her for something more. Be clear from the very beginning what your hopes and goals are.

None of the above will guarantee that she'll be cool about any of it, but at least they're the right way to go about things.

If you decide to go about it at all.

Because, you also have to be prepared to accept whatever the stakes are. How bad do you want it? Would you risk the relationship over it, and leave her for being an incompatible partner to you? Would she?

 

[Joeguerta]

We sound like the same person. I’d love to get my wife interested.

 

[TheIntrepidBoyager]

There is a very big difference between understanding and action.

 

[MrMannson]

I’m hoping to hear from couples who’ve been through this. My wife is pretty judgmental and not very open when it comes to kinks, yet I have strong cuckold and bi-curious desires I’ve mostly kept hidden. I love her and don’t want to push, but I also want her to truly understand this part of me.

For those of you who’ve successfully helped a judgmental or vanilla partner understand cuckold/hotwife or bisexual kinks, how did you do it? What approach, timing, or conversations actually helped shift things from judgment toward understanding? Any real stories or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

I had to read who posted this because it’s exactly my thoughts and I thought I’d posted it!

Looking to understand myself. Luckily I have been wading into a conversation thread with a Lit member who is helping me big time right now.

 

[CagedCuckNextDoor]

I had to read who posted this because it’s exactly my thoughts and I thought I’d posted it!

Looking to understand myself. Luckily I have been wading into a conversation thread with a Lit member who is helping me big time right now.

Please share your insights if you have any from your conversations with another Lit member.

 

[imustadmit]

Wife and I got married when she was 42 and I was 53. We had both been married before and tried the traditional married lifestyle, but that's honestly not what either of us totally are. We ARE very traditional in many ways, but sexually not so much. She cheated quite a bit on her first husband because he simply couldn't satisfy her and because they married so young because of a pregnancy. I had tried the traditional route with my first wife and that was a disaster in too many ways to fit here lol...

We had known each other for a good many years since we worked together. She had no clue that I was bi. One night after a few too many drinks on my part, I decided to sit her down and be totally honest with her about things I'd done in the past with guys....And things I'd like to see us both do in the future with other guys. She was SHOCKED, but she didn't back away at all.

4 years later, we've played with a handful of guys. It's not a lifestyle with us, really. Its something we do occasionally just to satisfy our kinks and have some adventurous fun together.

My best advice is to be honest, open, never keep secrets from each other. Listen to what she wants, and hopefully she'll do the same.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

I’m hoping to hear from couples who’ve been through this. My wife is pretty judgmental and not very open when it comes to kinks, yet I have strong cuckold and bi-curious desires I’ve mostly kept hidden. I love her and don’t want to push, but I also want her to truly understand this part of me.

For those of you who’ve successfully helped a judgmental or vanilla partner understand cuckold/hotwife or bisexual kinks, how did you do it? What approach, timing, or conversations actually helped shift things from judgment toward understanding? Any real stories or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Guess I was just honest about my life when we first met.

 

[Gator66]

Good luck poor chap. Your kink is so far out of the realm of her world that it is sure as shit not going to happen. I'm just being honest and suggest that you accept it or divorce her. When my sons were in their early teens, I had the occasion to share with them some of the harsh realities of this world and that acceptance is an important tool. My story was that I wished I could poop flying monkeys, but then one day I realized that I'd never poop a flying monkey out of my ass and that it was time to let that wish die and just do my homework and study for tests.

 

[Mrbingo1976]

I’m hoping to hear from couples who’ve been through this. My wife is pretty judgmental and not very open when it comes to kinks, yet I have strong cuckold and bi-curious desires I’ve mostly kept hidden. I love her and don’t want to push, but I also want her to truly understand this part of me.

For those of you who’ve successfully helped a judgmental or vanilla partner understand cuckold/hotwife or bisexual kinks, how did you do it? What approach, timing, or conversations actually helped shift things from judgment toward understanding? Any real stories or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

we are married 17 years.

I’m hoping to hear from couples who’ve been through this. My wife is pretty judgmental and not very open when it comes to kinks, yet I have strong cuckold and bi-curious desires I’ve mostly kept hidden. I love her and don’t want to push, but I also want her to truly understand this part of me.

For those of you who’ve successfully helped a judgmental or vanilla partner understand cuckold/hotwife or bisexual kinks, how did you do it? What approach, timing, or conversations actually helped shift things from judgment toward understanding? Any real stories or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

weve been married 17 years . i got into a bit of a porn addiction and suggested chastity cage that sort of led to denial games and her taking control.. i liked the denial as did she. over time i said you can have other men if you want as mine is redundant. so now she shags other men and i’m pleased she’s satisfied

 

[Mrbingo1976]

i find it incredibly sexy that other men find her attractive and i’m not part of the equation

 

[PetBlk]

Watching a woman being fucked when you are going to fuck her as well is very erotic. If your wife is very conservative, I doubt if you will talk her into doing it. Maybe she can be seduced by another couple with you present, where the woman is an experienced bi-sexual. A couple I knew, the woman said she could persuade most other women. It was a matter of breaking through the social constraints, helped by some wine, starting slowly, gently, until the woman being seduced, your wife, is ready for fucking and is then fucked by both the woman and her husband in turn.