Helping Catherine (closed for Sidney_1)

[BurningMonkey]

Paul's finger movements slowed, then slowed again, then stopped. He withdrew his finger and held his hand over her mound, just resting it there as her peak subsided.

He didn't remove his hand from her breast immediately, however, continuing to mold and caress the soft, resilient flesh. "Good, good..." he said a little hoarsely. His breathing was a little labored. "Strong contractions in the pelvic floor... you really have a beautiful orgasm, Catherine; you should let it out to play more often."

"And much sooner than last week. We're making real progress, I think." He leaned over her and used the hand that wasn't cupping her sex to gently remove the mask. Gazing down into her liquid eyes, he smiled. "And now for the cherry on top..." he breathed, and pressed his lips to hers once more.

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine was grateful that Paul didn’t withdraw his hands as her body shook and crested. It was intensely pleasurable, but still scary to feel out of control of herself. But, his warm hands and encouragement made her feel safe.

When she had fully re-entered her body, Paul removed the mask and pressed his lips onto hers. Catherine returned the kiss with a passion borne of gratitude and genuine affection. She had surrendered her body completely to Paul and to her own pleasurable feelings that had been relatively dormant.

“You’re waking me up, Paul. It’s . . . unbelievable.”

Catherine tried not to look at her body now that the blindfold was off and she was completely nude and Paul was fully clothed. In her heart of hearts, she wanted more therapy. . .she wanted to feel even more, learn more, learn to take risks with someone she trusted, but she knew she’d have to wait until next week.

She was going to keep the sound of his words in her head all week: "You really have a beautiful orgasm, Catherine."

 

[BurningMonkey]

Paul smiled and rested his hands on her for a few more moments. "Yes, Catherine; awakening what's already inside is what we're after. Soon you'll be able to let it go without restraint, whenever you wish. Or at least that's what I'm hoping for."

He straightened and glanced at his watch. "I'm afraid our time is up for today, dear. I'll leave you to get dressed. Take your time, and come out when you're ready." He turned and left, closing the door behind him. On the other side he leaned back against the wood, closing his eyes and just breathing deeply. After a few more moments, he walked to his desk and sat, dropping one hand to his lap to adjust himself before picking up the paperwork there.

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine sat up and hugged herself, taking a moment to drink the small therapy room with her eyes. By donning the blind-fold she had let her guard down completely, and it felt as if she had been relieved of a heavy weight within herself. The weight of failure, of performance pressure. In here, she was allowed to just be present and experimental with Paul.

With a sigh, she headed back to the dressing room and quickly got dressed so as not to keep Paul waiting. She smoothed her hair, and noticed that she had a much more relaxed, peaceful expression on her face. Part of her spirit seemed to still be floating in an after glow.

Catherine met Paul back at his office and took a seat across from him at his desk.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Paul didn't rise, as he usually did. Considering his..."condition", he thought it wise to remain seated. He smiled across the desk. "We're moving along nicely, I think. You experienced and orgasm much quicker than at our last session, and I'm very pleased; I didn't expect you to have come this far, this quickly."

"I think you may have some body issues, if I'm not mistaken. You seemed much more relaxed while wearing the blindfold than you were without it. Partially I think that's because it forces one to use one's other senses, primarily touch, but I sense partially that it also is because you can't see yourself while you wear it."

He leaned back in his office chair and steepled his fingers. "Tell me; do you feel or think that your body is...undesirable, in some way? Or am I completely missing the mark?"

 

[Sidney_1]

" Um. . . I’m more relaxed with the blindfold, because I’m less self-conscious of everything. I don’t have to worry if my partner is feeling impatient, or wondering what he is thinking or feeling or wanting from me, or focusing on pleasing him. I’m speaking abstractly, but I guess I am talking about my therapy with you. It’s anonymous, yet intimate at the same time. I dunno. . .I rarely look in mirrors; it doesn’t really matter how I look. This is the package that I was dealt. I know it isn’t awful and I’m grateful that it is healthy. But, of course I wish some things were different, I suppose. I’ve never been overly vain, or blatantly sexual.”

Catherine shifted uncomfortably. She wasn’t certain how she felt about her body. Perhaps he was right and she didn’t feel comfortable admitting it and adding to her list of issues.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Paul simply sat for a minute. "I see. Very interesting," he said.

"So you've never seen yourself aroused? Never wondered what you look like in a heightened state, or when you're orgasming?" he asked, musingly. "Perhaps that's something we should introduce at some point."

He finally trusted himself to stand without embarrassing them both, and did. "Thank you again for coming in, Catherine. Remember to keep blocking out times for yourself, and concentrate on trying to experience all of the sensations that come to you in a day. Being 'present in the moment' can be therapeutic in itself, quite apart from any sexual situation."

He nodded and smiled. "Until next week, then."

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine nodded, wondering if fantasy time or reliving pleasurable sensations was the same as “being present”. Probably not. It was too late to ask Paul.

“Yes,” she said, “I’ll look forward to seeing you next week. I. . .might be on my cycle, though. Hopefully, not.”

She blushed when she realized how much she had given away about herself. The fact that she enjoyed these private sessions.

Hopefully, Paul had no idea how much just the sound of his voice put her in a relaxed, calm state.

*
At home, on Friday, Catherine took a long soak as Michael read to Elizabeth. By the time he returned to the living room, she was dressed in a short nightgown and a terry cloth robe. They had made a fire. And then they had made slow, gentle love. Michael had wanted her on top. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the beauty of the moment, the sensual nature of it all.

Michael had kissed every inch of her, and watched her as she fell and rose on top of him, gently encouraging her. “Let yourself go, baby,” he had said. “You look beautiful.”

Somehow, his words had warmed her and encouraged her, and she found herself giving in and letting go, and climaxed as he caressed and let her control the pace.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Paul stood and came around the desk when Catherine showed up for their next appointment. Gesturing to the two armchairs, he waited for them both to settle into their now-accustomed places. "It's good to see you, Catherine," he said, steepling his fingers as usual. "I've been going over my notes from our previous sessions, and there are some things I'd like to explore with you. But first, tell me: Have you made progress at home? Has anything changed for the better, there? Are you feeling more relaxed, more "in the moment" during sex?"

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine smiled. Did she look different? How did he know?

“Yes, I’m feeling more amorous and relaxed at home. I think my husband is so grateful that I initiated sex, that he . . . well, I don’t know if it was ‘great’ for him, but I was able to climax. As you know, that is a huge step for me. I think some of the ‘me’ time is paying off. And. . .of course, our sessions together.”

 

[BurningMonkey]

Paul nodded. "Good. That's very good. I'm encouraged. And you'll see it's self-reinforcing; the sexier you feel, the easier it will be to achieve orgasm. And the easier you orgasm, the sexier you will feel." He smiled. "It's as nature intended. We are just helping the process along."

He gazed at her over his steepled fingers for a moment. "And fantasies? Have you developed any? They aid in feeling sexy at random times during the day, you know--the well-made stock-boy at the grocery, the handsome man in the business suit, the joggers running by... Almost everyone drops into a brief fantasy at random times during the day. Only for a moment or two, then they are back in their everyday life...but the effect lingers. You feel lighter, happier, more equal to the day. And of course, later in the evening, it becomes easier to slip into the moment, and I mean the moment," he said, emphasizing the word.

"So, have you made any progress, there?"

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine looked down at her hands. Should she tell him the truth or keep it to herself?

Catherine sighed deeply.

“Well, I must be a freak because I fantasize about having a full-time house-keeper who can shop for food, clean, and take care of other minutiae, so that I can have more time actually enjoying my family and private time. Occasionally, I’ll feel a moment of attraction to someone that I run across. . .but, that is rare. It’s a little unsettling when it happens, to be honest.”

Catherine shifted in her chair. Just the sight of Paul’s fingers, the way he paid close attention to her words and body language. . .were a turn-on.

“Well, to be honest, you – and everything we do during our sessions- occupy a lot of time in my fantasy life. I replayed our last session in my imagination many times. I loved everything about it. It’s very exciting to be . . . well, getting in touch with myself and letting you help me rediscover my sexual self. It requires a lot of trust and skill and I’m amazed at how good you are with me, to be honest. It’s . . . it’s hard not to be attracted to you emotionally, although I try not to think about that. I’m trying to just remain present and grateful for each session and experience.”

Catherine sighed, hoping she hadn’t said anything out of line. Surely, he had patients who had been attracted to him.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Far from showing discomfort with what Catherine had said, Paul just nodded and smiled. "That's quite all right, Catherine; it's quite common for people to develop an attachment to their therapist, in fact.

"After all, you're revealing your most intimate and personal self, here; many studies have demonstrated that doing so causes certain alterations in brain chemistry leading to feelings of attachment, even if the other person hasn't reciprocated. Opening yourself to another knowing that they will accept what you say--and you--without judgment is very liberating, and it's natural and normal to feel emotionally close to that person. Acceptance is a thing we crave, and when we find it we want to hang onto it."

He rose from his chair. "And now, let's continue with your development of your 'inner slut', if you'll pardon the expression." He opened the door to the little room. "I think you know what to do, now; if you don't feel the gown is necessary any more, simply take off your clothes, lie down on the table on your belly and call when you're ready."

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine winced at the expression. She didn’t want to be a slut, although admittedly she loved these secret sessions with Paul. But, part of her knew it was just therapy for her; he was a professional. He had no personal attraction to her, or if he did, he certainly hadn’t voiced or acted upon it. For all she knew, he had a wife and girlfriend who were wildly sexual.

Catherine removed her clothes, but chose to wear the gown. If he wanted to see her, then she’d enjoy watching him undress her. She settled back onto the examination table, belly down, took a deep breath, and hoped that she would be able to handle whatever step was next in her therapy.

“I’m ready, Paul.”

 

[BurningMonkey]

Paul entered the room to find Catherine lying prone on the table, the gown encasing her but for the small gap at the back. He didn't remark on that fact; she would dispense with it when and if she was ready to do so.

He went about the usual preparations, setting the scent-dispenser going and soft music--strings and harp, in soothing arpeggios calculated to relax. He gently undid the ties at the back of the gown and unsnapped the closures at the shoulder, taking his time in softly drawing the fabric open to expose her smooth, soft skin. He squirted some of the massage oil on his hands, warming it between his palms, then commenced the ritual stroking and caressing, beginning at her shoulders and moving slowly down her back and flanks.

"I noticed your grimace of distaste just now in the other room when I used the term 'inner slut'," he said as he worked. "I find it unfortunate that the term has collected so many negative onnotations in the modern world, like barnacles collecting on a ship's hull.

"Objectively speaking, what constitutes a 'slut', really? Boiled to its essence, it is merely a woman who feels unconstrained to freely express her sexuality. For some reason this has been equated to someone who's promiscuous and unselective, jumping on any available cock, if you will pardon the crudeness. And yes, some women are that way, just as some men are ready and willing to have sex with any woman who wants it, or will allow it.

"But that doesn't define the vast majority of women, all of whom have a sexual side that they don't wish to show in public for fear of censure. But sexuality can only be imperfectly repressed; women cover their breasts with clothing, then wear undergarments that accentuate the shape and size of them. They shorten their skirts, or lower the waistlines of their pants, or wear tight-fitting clothes like yoga pants and T-tops--all in the name and under the cover of 'fashion', yet all with the same underlying purpose: to show off their bodies as sexy and desirable, if unavailable.

"And many skirt the edge of what's 'permissible' in public, such as wearing thongs which show above their low-cut jeans. They want to express their sexuality, but are still fearful of condemnation.

"Yet such free and open expression of one's sexual nature is not only permissible but desirable in the proper context. It promotes good mental health in the woman, and strong and healthy relationships between couples. But many women repress their sexual urges and inclinations to the extent that they have difficulty expressing them even privately.

"Hence the term 'inner slut'. All women have an 'inner slut', in the sense that they have sexual urges and desires. Many women read so-called 'smut' or watch porn with the aim of arousing themselves; many women entertain sexual fantasies, and almost all women gratify themselves.

"And most women wish to have a partner with whom they can openly express their sexuality. It is partially the job of the sexual therapist to bring you to the realization that such free and open expression is not only permitted but desirable; it promotes good mental health in the woman, and is a key underpinning of strong emotional and sexual relationships."

He was down at her ankles by now, and worked his way slowly up her calves and the back of her thighs to begin kneading and massaging her smooth, tight, rounded cheeks. "So we are working to release your 'inner slut', Catherine; we're working to allow you to release her whenever you want, without restriction, to come out and play freely. That is the key to easy arousal, and easy orgasm."

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine found her body easily responding to Paul’s light massage, which was now becoming a comforting ritual which occurred during the first few minutes of their session. After the first few moments, she found herself able to easily relax and trust his hands, his therapy, and to give herself over to him completely.

Catherine had never really given much thought to sexuality, or analyzed it. She definitely had a negative connotation with the word “slut”. But, she found herself paying keen attention to Paul’s explanation of how important it was to have a healthy relationship with one’s inner slut.

Particularly this: "Yet such free and open expression of one's sexual nature is not only permissible but desirable in the proper context. It promotes good mental health in the woman, and strong and healthy relationships between couples.”

Catherine sensed, almost viscerally, the truth of his statement. She knew she felt an underlying anxiety about her inability to fully express her inner slut. . .and she knew it would be healthy for both she and Paul if she could learn to be more openly expressive sexually. In fact, she had so much guilt or unease, that she needed a therapist to give her permission and walk her through the process. She realized her inner slut wanted to come out. . . but, not necessarily with her husband just yet.

Catherine groaned with pleasure as Paul massaged the tight muscles on her fleshy ass. But, didn’t it make her slutty to crave his touch? To fantasize about him? To be turned on by his touch and the soft, reassuring tones of his voice? How her body craved to open itself and discover herself with him. . .because she felt so safe and protected with him?

“Mmm, I never thought about my ‘inner slut’ in those terms. And yes, I’d love to release my inner slut, my ability to enjoy sex and have easy arousal and easy orgasms. ..I love working on that with you. But, is it slutty to love these sessions with you? To allow you to arouse me? We’re just practicing and learning, right? But, I do love when you touch me and part of me will really miss these intimate sessions. But, I know I have a lot to experience and learn about myself before we have to stop. And besides, you might have a wife or girlfriend, right? I. .. .I just don’t want to crave our sessions in an unhealthy way. Not everyone is as intuitive and knowledgeable about my body as you are. . . “

Catherine knew she was babbling and was embarrassed. She was already beginning to crave Paul’s touch in her more intimate areas. She had a strong feeling that today she would turn a corner and befriend her inner slut.

“Paul, I love my therapy with you. I love learning to get in touch with my inner slut and you’re really helping me. I . . . I can feel my body already responding to your touch and I feel very sexual right now.” Catherine confessed.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Paul stopped his slow, sensuous, gently kneading massage long enough to reach below the table and produce a pillow. "Raise your hips," he instructed, and when she did he slipped the pillow under them so that her ass was now raised. He used his hands to gently spread her legs, opening them so that the glistening moistness of her sex was visible between her thighs. Then he resumed his massage, now concentrating on her inner upper thighs and the valleys between her legs and her mound as well as her cheeks.

"You know, Catherine..." he said softly, "we've explored all the surfaces of your outer body, but we have yet to introduce you to your inner body..." And he slowly and expertly slipped one finger inside her already wet tunnel, gently moving it in and out as his other hand continued its slow circuit of the cheeks and inner thighs.

"You know," he said softly, "the clitoris is a marvelous organ. It's much larger than we assume; this," and he briefly ran his massaging hand up and across the engorged bud at the top of her lower lips, "is just the tip of it. It extends deep into the lower body, entirely surrounding the vagina," he moved his inserted finger vigorously a few times, then went back to his steady in-out pace. "And the G-spot," he said, using his inserted finger to find and rub that little wrinkled patch, "is another organ of pleasure. And many women report the most intense orgasms from stimulating both together..."

He inserted a second finger beside the first and began vigorously rubbing at that little swollen patch just inside her opening, while simultaneously leaving off his massaging to concentrate on rubbing and caressing her pink joy button.

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine couldn’t believe Paul had slipped his fingers inside of her. His words and soothing voice had once again charmed her into opening her legs, her pussy, her sexual being . . .her inner slut to his care.

She had moaned softly when he had slid one finger in and out of her languorously and then explained about her clitoris as his finger teased over it as if to prove his point. She was slick with moisture and lust and she wanted him. She felt like a slut for well. . . indulging herself in these sessions with him. For letting him help her to love sex, love herself, her body’s abilities, and for kissing him and enjoying their therapy time.

Catherine knew she’d have to drill this down with him at another time.

Her body was way too lustful right now. He had two fingers inside of her and one of them was rubbing intently on an area that was making her body jerk and have a strong urge to urinate. Additionally, another finger caressed her clitoris.

“Paul, please. . . it’s too much. This is intense, and I’m afraid I’m going to have a heart attack or seizure. I don’t know what it is, but I feel panicky. There’s just. . . too much going on down there. I feel too many weird things. It’s too intense. Can we slow it down?”

Catherine’s body was shaking from all the nerves that he was activating, but she felt a cold sweat of fear. As much as she wanted to progress and to please Paul, this was just too much, too fast.

 

[BurningMonkey]

He moved his hand from her clitoris, and slowed his caress of her G-spot. "I know it can be frightening," he said soothingly. "The fear of loss of control is strong. But you must hold to the thought that even though your body can lose all control in an orgasm, it's perfectly safe--you'll emerge on the other side utterly unharmed, and you'll find the world moving on in a perfectly normal way.

"We'll just slow the pace a little, to give you time to get used to the feelings entering your body. But don't fight them; let them flow into you, through you, build as they wish...I'm here, you're safe. No harm will come to you, I promise. Have courage."

He continued stroking her warm, firm ass cheek and continued more gently rubbing her G-spot.

 

[Sidney_1]

No, no, I will have a seizure if things get that intense, Catherine thought to herself.

But, thankfully, Paul adjusted the therapy so that he was soothingly caressing her buttocks while a single finger continued to stroke in a very specific place in her vagina.

The sensation of feeling like she had to urinate was still present, but she found the combination of his caress and his voice calming, and she deliberately tried to not to resist any feelings.

“That feels better. Very new, but I like it. I’m sorry, it might take me a few minutes to relax and be open and fully present with all these sensations. But, please know that I find you very . . . reassuring. And if my body is going to respond to anyone, it will be to you.”

Catherine felt a swell of love towards Paul and all the patience, tenderness, and sensitivity he had shown to her. Michael had been patient, too, but he hadn’t known how to help her cross the bridge back to her sexual self. Or, to go even further than she had ever been, sexually.

After a few minutes and some deep breaths, Catherine felt calmer and less inhibited, less resistant, and she was able to focus on her vagina and enjoy the way Paul was fingering her in a very specific fashion.

Her buttocks began to quiver occasionally.

“This is scary. I know it might be hard to imagine since you’re a man and it’s so easy to orgasm. . .but, for some reason, for me, oooohh. . .” Catherine whispered, “it’s still a challenge to relax. I think I’m beginning to give my body over to your trust, now.”

Catherine parted her legs slightly to further enjoy the new sensations. Even if all she did was tremble, she was still being brave.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Paul said nothing, but the out spreading of her legs told him everything he wanted to know. Without speaking he slowly inserted a second finger next to the first, and continued the slow, gentle stroking of her G-spot. His hands didn't confine themselves to just her ass cheeks, however; he began moving up her flanks and down between her legs as well, though not touching her clitoris just yet.

"Let the feelings build, Catherine," he said softly, gently. "Let them build slowly; let them crest. and peak, and overwhelm the breakwaters you've built to keep them out, keep them at a distance...I'm here. Nothing can harm you..."

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine let Paul’s voice soothe her and she tried to give her body completely over to his trust. He had two hands on her, and she was lying down on a table. If she shook uncontrollably, he would make sure . . . well, he’d hold her or stop if she begged. . . she trusted him enough to know that he wouldn’t let her feel to out of control to the point of panic.

Catherine loosened her gaze so that she could just focus on a spot in Paul’s exam room. His finger was at a very tingly spot inside of her and it was making her butt shake. Eventually, with some breathing and relaxation techniques she gave in to the sensations and embarrassment of her body shaking.

After a few minutes, she no longer felt bashful about the jerking movements. In fact, she felt proud that she could expand her sexual comfort to let her body shake in front of Paul. As she relaxed, Paul inserted another finger and now the intensity was a step further inside of her. He slowed his tempo, the speed of his strokes in order for her to adjust.

Catherine’s body began to jerk with less frequency but with more intensity.

“Paul, this is intense. I think you have me on an edge. . . I. . .I think I’m ready for more if you can talk me through it. The shaking when I orgasm scares me.”

 

[BurningMonkey]

Paul continued his stroking, gradually intensifying his rubbing of her G-spot while simultaneously insinuating his other hand underneath her to briefly squeeze and stroke her breast. "The intensity of the orgasm is scary at first," he said calmly, "but all new things are scary at first."

"Just relax, and go with the flow. Be present in the moment, and let the feelings wash over and through you. You will soon discover that nothing bad will happen. You'll be transported, yes, but into a world of bliss and ecstasy. And when you come down, all will be as it was before, and you'll wonder just what you were frightened of..."

And you'll want it again, he added silently as the hand that had been playing with her breasts withdrew and began lightly--oh, so lightly!--rubbing her clitoris.

 

[Sidney_1]

Catherine moaned softly as Paul continued to talk her through this new sexual experience. She had never been “fingered” in this way.

His reassuring tone soothed her and she let go of the self-consciousness of the jerking of her body. She realized that part of the jerking was probably her own resistance to the pleasure. . . to the fear of soaring, and not landing back on earth. But, Catherine knew she was in good hands, and had to push past her fears.

“Ohh. . .” she exhaled, as his finger firmly massaged inside her vagina while the other hand managed to stimulate her breast. Catherine’s body trembled with pleasure and lust and she let herself relax and be open to the new sensations.

Before she knew it, Paul was lightly touching her clit, while his finger kept a firm rhythm inside of her. Each time he brushed against her nub, she moaned and trembled.

Somehow, she knew he had the skills to help her explore her sexuality and have a solid, intense sexual orgasm.

“Oh, Paul….mmmm. . .” Catherine groaned, as she relished in her newfound libido.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Time to step it up a notch, Paul thought. He began rubbing her clitoris in earnest, running his fingers up and down her nether lips while keeping up and intensifying his massage of her G-spot. "Feel it," he crooned. "Feel the tension leaving your body--or rather, the old tension being replaced with a new, different, pleasurable tension...one waiting eagerly to be released, to soar high above the earth and touch the sun when the time is right..."

He leaned over slowly and planted is lips gently on her firm, delicious ass cheek as she quivered and jerked under his hands; the way she was positioned, with her ass in the air on the pillows, made it easy.

"Tell me, Catherine," he said as he began planting butterfly kisses slowly all across her rounded lopes. "Have you ever been...kissed?" he whispered. "There?" And he wiggled the fingers on her swollen bud so there was no question in either of their minds as to what he referred by 'there'.

The scent of her arousal was almost overwhelming, this close. It smelled slightly tangy, a little salty--and thoroughly delicious. It was all he could do to keep from diving in...