BobYesTheBob
Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2024
- Posts
- 38
Hey, y'all - it's me! BobYesTheBob! I know you've been pining for more Bob and, well, I'm sorry. Truthfully, I never meant for this to be an actual account, it was just a throwaway to post my infamous "My Fellow Americans" comedy letter. And high comedy it was and is. But surprisingly, many people got really angry about it! I have to admit, I never expected that to be the reaction. I mean, I thought, sure, it might annoy some people but I never expected it to be so fucking successful! I heard rumors that Dems have no sense of humor but I didn't believe it. Now I owe Gary $5 the fuckin' genius he is. Thank god I came from money, otherwise that $5...?
Still, I was not going to keep BobYesTheBob as a viable identity. I mean, I post all the time, just not under this name (hint hint). I mean, "Bob"? What parent who loves their kid would name that kid "Bob"! Wait, hold on a sec....(what? what do you mean Bob is short for "Robert"? Robert is a great name but no way in hell...I mean, next thing you'll try and get me to believe is that, I dunno, "Peggy" is short for Margaret, haha, and....oh you gotta be fucking kidding)...I'm back. OK, people, look. Maybe I acted a bit rash naming this Bob in an attempt to be funny. So all you "Roberts" (I swear she better have been telling me the truth) please, um...accept my apology.
Where was I? Oh yeah, that letter? I mean, it was awesome the reactions! Yet even with the stunning success of that piece of just genius comedy, I wasn't going to keep this account but for one man, Sct73. His reaction to that piece was in-fucking-sprirational. He got SO angry and accused me of "pushing religion down people's throats". OK, not caring about people politics, read that again and tell me it pushes religion. I fucking MOCK religion relentlessly and that piece was no exception! It really pointed something out to me - the amazing Public School system in the U.S. There's reading...and comprehension. They are not the same, are they? No, Bob, no they are not.
So I just wanted to announce my return to this forum and I wanted to give a very very special thanks to the....well, I said "man" but that was rude of me. Yes, I was being sarcastic. No man would get his panties in a bunch like Sct73 and no, I don't truly think you are a man, Sct73...or male, for that matter. I won't "gender" you, god knows no Dem even knows what a woman is, which begs the question of why the fuck y'all get so bent out of shape with a word whose meaning confuses the Party of Science. You know, self-labeling is a bit cringe, right? Party of Scientology, maybe...not science. Not in the Karl Popper "good science" science. Maybe pseudoscience? That's a type of science...I guess.
Or maybe you are all just bad with words. And meaning. And attaching meaning...to words. Is that it? It fits - after all, the term "gender" does not even apply to biology. You...DO know that, right? Gender is a linguistic term for the fact that a handful of languages have two forms of certain words - a female form and a male form. And female is NOT woman nor is male man, why? Because we're talking linguistics - language. Not people. But y'all can think as you wish...well, my wish is that you WOULD think instead of what you do, which is react. And parrot. "Trump is Nazi I know CNN told me so" (see how I created a mini-poem?). I say CNN I'm giving you all credit because if you are getting your "news" from MSNBC? Mythical god help us all (see Sct73? I mock religion. Mock. Make mockery of. Look it up. Where? oh my fucking lord a Dictionary. Yes. What's a....wow...a Dictionary is a book, ok? You with me? It's a book filled with words, yes, I know, many books have words. Most do, I know not yours but...most. This one is filled not just with words but for each word, it tells you lots of things like what the word means, and guess what? Sometimes a word can mean more than one thing! Yes! I know, you're clapping your hands together, Sct73 that means you are happy, right? Oh good! I hate to think of you weeping uncontrollably like a schoolgirl who skinned her knee and then a bee stung her knee in the same spot and then Brian didn't sit by her at lunch and so she's just crushed...I don't want to picture you, Sct73, crying like that! No, it doesn't make me sad it makes me break out in laughter and that is really really not what I need when at my job as Funeral Director, ok? It makes me appear...insensitive. Look it up. Dictionary.).
Anyway, I'm back and I would not have been without the strong support of Sct73 and so to you, whomever you are? Thank you. I think of you as less a commenter and more as...well, yes...a friend. A friend. And, I must say...oh no...I promised myself I wasn't going to cry....dammit, look what you made me do! Break my own promise! Give me a sec, ok? OK, I'm back. NOW who was crying like a little schoolgirl? I guess me and Sct73 have more in common than at first inspection! But...I know words and their meanings. I'm not saying that makes me smarter than Sct73, I'm saying that makes me better. In all dimensions. I'm saying if one did a multidimensional analysis I would be up here (hand raised really high) and Sct73 would be....(stooping low, hand touching the ground)...here. That's all. I'm not overgeneralizing, I'm not making comparative statements, I'm just saying....I'm better. But, as a friend, I would just say to Sct73 hey...you have work to do but guess what? You have me to look up to and emulate! And if you practice? Really really hard? For a long-ass time? You just might be as cool as me. Look, I would not give you that goal if I didn't think you had it in you. I do. I have faith - not in some "savior" who happens to have the same name as my gardener...in YOU. YOU, Sct73. You. Baby steps!
Still, I was not going to keep BobYesTheBob as a viable identity. I mean, I post all the time, just not under this name (hint hint). I mean, "Bob"? What parent who loves their kid would name that kid "Bob"! Wait, hold on a sec....(what? what do you mean Bob is short for "Robert"? Robert is a great name but no way in hell...I mean, next thing you'll try and get me to believe is that, I dunno, "Peggy" is short for Margaret, haha, and....oh you gotta be fucking kidding)...I'm back. OK, people, look. Maybe I acted a bit rash naming this Bob in an attempt to be funny. So all you "Roberts" (I swear she better have been telling me the truth) please, um...accept my apology.
Where was I? Oh yeah, that letter? I mean, it was awesome the reactions! Yet even with the stunning success of that piece of just genius comedy, I wasn't going to keep this account but for one man, Sct73. His reaction to that piece was in-fucking-sprirational. He got SO angry and accused me of "pushing religion down people's throats". OK, not caring about people politics, read that again and tell me it pushes religion. I fucking MOCK religion relentlessly and that piece was no exception! It really pointed something out to me - the amazing Public School system in the U.S. There's reading...and comprehension. They are not the same, are they? No, Bob, no they are not.
So I just wanted to announce my return to this forum and I wanted to give a very very special thanks to the....well, I said "man" but that was rude of me. Yes, I was being sarcastic. No man would get his panties in a bunch like Sct73 and no, I don't truly think you are a man, Sct73...or male, for that matter. I won't "gender" you, god knows no Dem even knows what a woman is, which begs the question of why the fuck y'all get so bent out of shape with a word whose meaning confuses the Party of Science. You know, self-labeling is a bit cringe, right? Party of Scientology, maybe...not science. Not in the Karl Popper "good science" science. Maybe pseudoscience? That's a type of science...I guess.
Or maybe you are all just bad with words. And meaning. And attaching meaning...to words. Is that it? It fits - after all, the term "gender" does not even apply to biology. You...DO know that, right? Gender is a linguistic term for the fact that a handful of languages have two forms of certain words - a female form and a male form. And female is NOT woman nor is male man, why? Because we're talking linguistics - language. Not people. But y'all can think as you wish...well, my wish is that you WOULD think instead of what you do, which is react. And parrot. "Trump is Nazi I know CNN told me so" (see how I created a mini-poem?). I say CNN I'm giving you all credit because if you are getting your "news" from MSNBC? Mythical god help us all (see Sct73? I mock religion. Mock. Make mockery of. Look it up. Where? oh my fucking lord a Dictionary. Yes. What's a....wow...a Dictionary is a book, ok? You with me? It's a book filled with words, yes, I know, many books have words. Most do, I know not yours but...most. This one is filled not just with words but for each word, it tells you lots of things like what the word means, and guess what? Sometimes a word can mean more than one thing! Yes! I know, you're clapping your hands together, Sct73 that means you are happy, right? Oh good! I hate to think of you weeping uncontrollably like a schoolgirl who skinned her knee and then a bee stung her knee in the same spot and then Brian didn't sit by her at lunch and so she's just crushed...I don't want to picture you, Sct73, crying like that! No, it doesn't make me sad it makes me break out in laughter and that is really really not what I need when at my job as Funeral Director, ok? It makes me appear...insensitive. Look it up. Dictionary.).
Anyway, I'm back and I would not have been without the strong support of Sct73 and so to you, whomever you are? Thank you. I think of you as less a commenter and more as...well, yes...a friend. A friend. And, I must say...oh no...I promised myself I wasn't going to cry....dammit, look what you made me do! Break my own promise! Give me a sec, ok? OK, I'm back. NOW who was crying like a little schoolgirl? I guess me and Sct73 have more in common than at first inspection! But...I know words and their meanings. I'm not saying that makes me smarter than Sct73, I'm saying that makes me better. In all dimensions. I'm saying if one did a multidimensional analysis I would be up here (hand raised really high) and Sct73 would be....(stooping low, hand touching the ground)...here. That's all. I'm not overgeneralizing, I'm not making comparative statements, I'm just saying....I'm better. But, as a friend, I would just say to Sct73 hey...you have work to do but guess what? You have me to look up to and emulate! And if you practice? Really really hard? For a long-ass time? You just might be as cool as me. Look, I would not give you that goal if I didn't think you had it in you. I do. I have faith - not in some "savior" who happens to have the same name as my gardener...in YOU. YOU, Sct73. You. Baby steps!
