Hook up with college Profs ????

[JudyJ]

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[Dribble]

It depends on the department. Some are well-known for "extracurricular" activities (Art and Music).

In my field...it is very rare. And those that I know of were with coeds (or past students) NOT present students.

Overall, I think the reality is alot less than people think. But people always remember the exception and not the hundred that didn't.

 

[Carnevil9]

I have two friends who "hooked up" with their students. One was a TA, one was a professor. Both ended up marrying them after they graduated. Only one of the couples has since divorced. So far.

 

[airman2]

I'd say never in my area and I would be really surprised if it ever did. But I was in engineering in school so things are a bit different. I also find, regardless of class composition, that our profs were less 'buddy buddy' than some other faculty I have seen. Heck, I know other profs that have a holiday potluck etc that some of their upper year students attend .. nothing like that ever went down in our area.

 

[unregistered]

 

[silverwhisper]

judyj: did you by any odd chance happen to glimpse odyssean's thread in how to? :>

i'm sure it does happen, but i imagine it happens much less frequently than either horny students or professors would like, since it's almost universally a termination offense for the professor in question.

i think you should ask your friend what reason(s) he/she has for believing it's more common than anyone thinks. i'm rather curious about his/her thinking.

ed

 

[Eilan]

i think you should ask your friend what reason(s) he/she has for believing it's more common than anyone thinks.

Maybe there are lots of stories about prof-student sex. 'Cause there are lots of stories about incest, so that means everyone must be fucking their family members. Right?

Recently, my book groupies and I were talking about the profs in our building. Almost all of the male faculty members are married to (or have been married to) one of their former students. Only one female faculty member has married a former student. We have no idea why that's the case. Maybe the female students were actively pursuing their MRS degree?

I work in a building of dinosaurs, however, and at the time that most of these folks were marrying their students, it wasn't as frowned upon as it is today.

As a student, I thought the idea of having sex with my profs was gross, but I didn't have any particularly attractive profs.

As an instructor, I'm not gonna go there. I don't even fantasize about my students.

 

[silverwhisper]

eilan quoth:
there are lots of stories about incest, so that means everyone must be fucking their family members. right?

thanks eilan, you just reminded me that i have to get a christmas present for my sister/cousin/niece!



ed

 

[BongoGal]

I teach in a college, and I have managed to have sex with a student only once, and that was only after he was no longer a student of mine. (I do, however, have lots and lots of fantasies involving students. If they had any idea what prim and proper little me were thinking, they'd be shocked.)

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Exactly when did this become a fireable offense? When I was in college (mid 80s) it was fairly common. I even hooked up with an associate Spanish professor (a week after final grades were submitted). The only scandal I recall occurred when a department vice chairman had a breakdown in class and announced that he was divorcing his wife so that he could be with one of his students. He was put on leave for a semester, but he was back the following fall.

 

[silverwhisper]

it was an offense when i was in college not much after that, and everyone i know who's an instructor repeats the same.

[shrug]

ed

 

[Eilan]

thanks eilan, you just reminded me that i have to get a christmas present for my sister/cousin/niece!



ed

*cues "Dueling Banjos"*

Exactly when did this become a fireable offense? When I was in college (mid 80s) it was fairly common. I even hooked up with an associate Spanish professor (a week after final grades were submitted). The only scandal I recall occurred when a department vice chairman had a breakdown in class and announced that he was diverting his wife so that he could be with one of his students. He was put on leave for a semester, but he was back the following fall.

It's something that my employer has become more concerned with in the past decade or so. I think it's a CYA maneuver--people will sue for anything nowadays.

I don't know if we've had anyone disciplined or fired for sexual harassment/misconduct with either students or co-workers, but a few years ago, a professor who'd been teaching at our school for 40+ years was forced to retire for non-sexually, non-violently touching a student. I'm not going to go into more detail, but he was actually facing simple assault charges at one point. To say that my employer handled the situation poorly is an understatement.

 

[baphemetis]

Boy do I wish this were even a possibility! But I find that most of my professors are either married or strongly attached so I don't even try. (Of course, that doesn't stop me from ranting about how hot they are on ratemyprofessors.com)

However, a friend of mine had a real problem with one of the art professors (not her teacher in any class) not just hitting on her, but outright harassing her. She had just gotten married. Her husband lives in Europe. This professor (a former Catholic seminarian) was trying to convince her (a Muslim) that a secular marriage is invalid in the eyes of God. What a scumbag! I told her that marriage is the only sacrament the Catholic Church recognizes among non-Christians. (They recognize emergency baptisms, but if you're getting baptized, you're becoming a Christian.)

Anyway, not the erotic fantasy we probably think about. I lost touch with my friend, but I think she moved out of town before the semester started.

 

[Texguy84]

I know there was an Intro to Sociology professor that I would have certainly done various questionable deeds in order to do the deed with her.

I mean, freaking gorgeous, with an ass that made me wish more than ever that I was a pair of blue jeans. I actually once missed a step and nearly face planted climbing into a van because I looked up and found myself face to face with that ass when she was climbing in ahead of me.

Her actual views on various social issues? Oi vey what a loon. But you know, that's what gags are handy for, right?

 

[mcevin]

Okay, when I was in junior college I had this kinda-sorta affair with one of the professors. I had him for math, but I wasn't taking his class when we had the affair.

Love,

Jamie

 

[blueberree]

professors and their students

I think that a professor who has sex with one of his/her students is asking for a load of trouble. Most universities have policies against it for good reasons. A student can argue that he/she agreed to sex because the professor required it to award a particular grade--whether it is the truth or not.

Suppose a student's parent finds out and files a complaint with the institution...the professor could lose their job tenured, or not. After the boundary has been crossed, there is no way to tell if a student's evaluation is based on their merits in class, or based on the sex. And there is the spouse of the professor in question in the original post. Ah...what an opportunity for career troublemaking.

It isn't unusual for either party to think about it, but to act on it is just a different matter. I bet it is far more common between grad students and their faculty advisors who often have much closer working relationships. And in that situation, the stakes are even higher if you are the student.

Seems like a really bad idea over all. As to the frequency, I think in the past it was something that the institution and the parties involved accepted and looked the other way. These days, not so much.

 

[DeceptiveSpeed]

I had an ongoing sexual relationship with my Drama TA in college. But it started before I had the class. Does that still count?

 

[Lost_Yonder]

It does happen, though given the legal situation these days, it is usually with former students. Though, I don't think it is that prevelant.

I always found that having students who flirt with you makes teaching that much more interesting and usually leads to a better class overall. It adds a degree of enticement and engagement that may not always be there or at times is hard to muster. Taking it to the next level though is something else, and usually the student moves on...

 

[Redhill123]

Had a steamy affair with a former prof. She found out I had been hired by a company she did some consulting for, invited me to a party she was having and we were off to the races. It lasted @ 3 months and to my suprise was not a well kept secret (on her part anyway). Another prof whom I was still friends with expressed suprise that I was not seeing her any more - and proceeds to tell me ...everyone knew! Don't know what rules were violated but nothing happened to her? Technically I was not her student but I was still at university.

 

[aspiringDOM]

I'd say it happens way too often. If you want to know how likely or often it happens, just take a look at the faculty / staff handbook and see if it says anything other than "discouraging" sexual relationships. Without a policy forbidding it and stating a specific disciplinary action for it, the faculty is free to hunt the young game.

I know my undergrad didn't go any further than stating that they were "discouraged" and there were several such hookups. I have a problem with it, but at the same time, I'm not sure what the right answer is.

 

[strapon_tales]

Not exactly. But a girl I was in school with started dating a teacher from the school once she was in college.

 

[Omegaop]

I teach in a college, and I have managed to have sex with a student only once, and that was only after he was no longer a student of mine. (I do, however, have lots and lots of fantasies involving students. If they had any idea what prim and proper little me were thinking, they'd be shocked.)

So will you share with us, Bongogal?

 

[acynlacy]

My college GF's roommate, who was very ditzy, tried sex to get better a grade. But she did it with the GA, who of course had no power to change a anyone's grade. She didn't find out her error until she bragged to us one night, when I explained it to her she said "I think I've been raped".

She flunked the course and dropped out anyway.

 

[ticklish709]

I did and for me it worked

I hooked up with a professor in college and it was fun. I needed this grade for my degree but working my part-time job and doing the lab work was killing me. One night he came in the lab and we talked and did other things. Long story short--I got the grade I needed and well--he got a young girl. My poor roommate had the same class and never could figure out how I got though my labs so easily. LOL Looking back on it--maybe I shouldn't have but he was a gorgeous older man and I would've been interested in him anyway.

Ticklish709

 

[sillypanda]

I think there are more students engaging in this than profs.

Put another way, I think a relatively small percentage of professors hook up with students, but there are a number of professors who do get together with students getting together with more than one.

Just my own observations/experiences. Plus, I think it depends on how you define "hook up" - are we talking sex or just, well, "hooking up"?