How can I determine where emails are coming from?

[sheath]

Thanks for the responses!

Wantonica: Just out of curiousity, how did it turn out with your friend? And I agree, going with gut instinct is almost always correct. Though I haven't confronted Tom yet, I did bring it up casually a few days ago...and his response was sudden anger, followed by something that seemed to be fear. It would have been puzzling as hell, had I not suspected in the first place. So...the confrontation is coming soon. A gentle, understanding confrontation.

Spin: Luckily, this is the first time I have really had this problem...and I hope it's the last!

dollface: Tom is a friend online and offline. We met on the internet and became friends in 'real time' from there. I hate to cut off the friendship completely...but I do know by now that I cannot trust him, and so is it worth keeping the friendship intact? That's what I'm struggling with right now.

Whisper: "Tom and Jerry" are not their real names, but my pseudonyms for them. I'm glad you got the reference! Fitting, huh?

Confused: Thanks...and I will try that soon.

I appreciate the responses!

S.

 

[systeman]

I'm

much more inclined to hide form myself (long story) than anyone I value as a friend - whether locally or online. Yes you can have different names on here, but you are still you.

 

[James G 5]

Re: cat & mouse

Tom and Jerry could be a subconscious indicator on his part.

Tom & Jerry = cat & mouse

Get it?

She read my mind

 

[James G 5]

Betcha a homecooked meal over a bottle of wine it's one guy with issues darlin'
Sounds WAYYYYYYY too much like other situations I've seen
there's a guy on AOL who was pulling crap like this in our pagan chat rooms
One of the women he picked up there went to his home and ended up seeing his computer room
4 computers, 4 AOL acconts
One each for him & his three "band members" who would often be in chat with him

IMHO yanno

 

[sheath]

Betcha a homecooked meal over a bottle of wine it's one guy with issues darlin'
Sounds WAYYYYYYY too much like other situations I've seen
there's a guy on AOL who was pulling crap like this in our pagan chat rooms
One of the women he picked up there went to his home and ended up seeing his computer room
4 computers, 4 AOL acconts
One each for him & his three "band members" who would often be in chat with him

IMHO yanno

I'm pretty sure Tom isn't quite THAT bad. I really think that he did it for reasons unknown, and now simply doesn't know how to stop. It's hard to bow out gracefully, even when you know you have fucked up royally, I guess.

I haven't confronted him yet...but ironically? I am not hearing a peep from "Jerry". Not one single word. Nothing. I've even written to "Jerry", asking him where he has gone, and no response. So...I think maybe Tom is just hoping this thing will die. And if that is the case, I will probably just let it die, too. But I will never, ever trust him again.

But I'll take the bet anyway. A homecooked meal? By the gourmet James? Bring the finest wine you've got, and bring Pouty. We'll make an evening of it.

S.

 

[James G 5]

I'm pretty sure Tom isn't quite THAT bad. I really think that he did it for reasons unknown, and now simply doesn't know how to stop. It's hard to bow out gracefully, even when you know you have fucked up royally, I guess.

I haven't confronted him yet...but ironically? I am not hearing a peep from "Jerry". Not one single word. Nothing. I've even written to "Jerry", asking him where he has gone, and no response. So...I think maybe Tom is just hoping this thing will die. And if that is the case, I will probably just let it die, too. But I will never, ever trust him again.

But I'll take the bet anyway. A homecooked meal? By the gourmet James? Bring the finest wine you've got, and bring Pouty. We'll make an evening of it.

S.

Never said he was that bad, just pointing out the lengths to which some folk will go to sustain the illusion online...see my comments in LOTS of other threads about why online "Love" is bullshit

I would agree that confrontation is pointless but you are wise to be careful of this guy in the future

The finest wine huh? For what a few of THOSE bottle cost your man better play us a mini concert after dinner

 

[sheath]

Never said he was that bad, just pointing out the lengths to which some folk will go to sustain the illusion online...see my comments in LOTS of other threads about why online "Love" is bullshit

I would agree that confrontation is pointless but you are wise to be careful of this guy in the future

The finest wine huh? For what a few of THOSE bottle cost your man better play us a mini concert after dinner

Online love is bullshit, eh? If I didn't know better, I would think you were baiting me with that one, m'dear.

And a private concert would be NO problem. As long as I didn't attack him halfway through.

But then, maybe that would be a GREAT end to the evening, lol.

S.

 

[James G 5]

Online love is bullshit, eh? If I didn't know better, I would think you were baiting me with that one, m'dear.

And a private concert would be NO problem. As long as I didn't attack him halfway through.

But then, maybe that would be a GREAT end to the evening, lol.

S.

ME?
Baiting YOU? Why bother when I know you'd never latch on my pole?

Hmmmm....restraints might be in order? I travel with rope...I could even leave you that way for him when we were ready to go

Oh SURE, a GREAT ending...Pouty could take pics while I sat in the corner not getting off, a typical night

 

[sheath]

ME?
Baiting YOU? Why bother when I know you'd never latch on my pole?

Hmmmm....restraints might be in order? I travel with rope...I could even leave you that way for him when we were ready to go

Oh SURE, a GREAT ending...Pouty could take pics while I sat in the corner not getting off, a typical night

Bring the rope, and you can MAKE me latch onto that pole.

Who knows, my man might even like it.

S.

 

[James G 5]

Bring the rope, and you can MAKE me latch onto that pole.

Who knows, my man might even like it.

S.

Nashville sounds better ALLL the tme....too bad Pouty loathes country so much LOL

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[James G 5]

If you guys let me come to the dinner, I'll serve it, French maid's uniform and all.

how about just the apron, high heels, fishnets, and little cap?

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Lust Engine]

Only if I can add a little shelf bra that lets my nipple peek out....

I'm sure the rest of us will be doing enough peeking (and peaking) on our own.

 

[James G 5]

Only if I can add a little shelf bra that lets my nipple peek out....

mmm, that sounds ok

 

[sheath]

Hell, I've got a big house. Old as hell, so you can hear things creak through the walls. Like bedsprings.

And you are all invited.

S.

 

[jeepman6]

I like the phone idea too.

The overall attitudes of both Tom and Jerry are so much alike, it's like talking with the same person. It's eerie. So either it's a serious identity crisis with Tom, or they are so close they are like clones. *shrugs*

Join in on the gossip! This thread could get interesting.

S.

you can also go to google.com type in the phone number and if it's listed it will give you the name of who it is registered to. This also works with cell phones.

 

[James G 5]

Hell, I've got a big house. Old as hell, so you can hear things creak through the walls. Like bedsprings.

And you are all invited.

S.

Yep, gonna need more Bourbon

 

[CelticFrog]

Hell, I've got a big house. Old as hell, so you can hear things creak through the walls. Like bedsprings.

And you are all invited.

S.

OOH OOH OOH!!!
Serious? I'll drag him AWOL for a few days...
Hell, I'd even bring all my work and you could tell me if it's any good... the MUSIC not the stories!!! lol
I am SOOO dehydrated. Must... get... water... before I soput off more random blatherings about the green men riding the winged ninja monkeys (okay, I stole that one from SO)
S, interesting thread... odd, yet interesting. I particularly agree with the textual analysis... I have a great textbook on handwriting analysis I had to buy once and never took the class, but I stand by that sort of thing 99 percent. It also saves me everytime I think J is lying -- I usually tell him to write me a note with what he did that day or something so I can read it when I get home. Boy, he hates that! Gets him to cut down on the stupid little white lies that he normally can't help. Don't get me going on "you shouldn't be with someone who lies" crap. That's not how it is, there's medical crap behind it, blah blah blah.
Water. Yes, definitely Water.
Ang

 

[sheath]

OOH OOH OOH!!!
Serious? I'll drag him AWOL for a few days...
Hell, I'd even bring all my work and you could tell me if it's any good... the MUSIC not the stories!!! lol
I am SOOO dehydrated. Must... get... water... before I soput off more random blatherings about the green men riding the winged ninja monkeys (okay, I stole that one from SO)
S, interesting thread... odd, yet interesting. I particularly agree with the textual analysis... I have a great textbook on handwriting analysis I had to buy once and never took the class, but I stand by that sort of thing 99 percent. It also saves me everytime I think J is lying -- I usually tell him to write me a note with what he did that day or something so I can read it when I get home. Boy, he hates that! Gets him to cut down on the stupid little white lies that he normally can't help. Don't get me going on "you shouldn't be with someone who lies" crap. That's not how it is, there's medical crap behind it, blah blah blah.
Water. Yes, definitely Water.
Ang

Good to see you again, Ang!

Of course you are welcome to lovely Tennessee. Just tell me in advance, so I can make more than enough sweet tea and get enough mint for the juleps!

I have looked back over those emails from Tom and Jerry (hehe) and I think, I'm 99 percent sure, that they are the same person. There is just way too much evidence there.

But now...what to do? I haven't heard from "Jerry" in a long while. Tom has completely stopped talking about him. Do I let it die? Do I confront him? Or do I just keep the knowledge to myself, and be more careful about what I trust him with in the future?

I'm not sure. I just know that I'm not angry, only highly confused. And kinda amused. Sadly amused. *sigh*

S.

 

[James G 5]

I'm not sure. I just know that I'm not angry, only highly confused. And kinda amused. Sadly amused. *sigh*

S.

Well, when one has no sex life, one must look for amusement where one can

 

[sheath]

Well, when one has no sex life, one must look for amusement where one can

LMAO

I can get a sex life, real quick.

Does yelling "Fuck you, James!" at the top of my lungs count?



S.

 

[James G 5]

LMAO

I can get a sex life, real quick.

Does yelling "Fuck you, James!" at the top of my lungs count?



S.

Works better if you yell "Fuck ME, James!"

 

[sheath]

Works better if you yell "Fuck ME, James!"

LMAO!

S.

 

[sheath]

I'm updating old threads tonight!

I've had a lot of time at home this week, and I've been doing some 'cleaning house' in more ways than one.

I decided to check up on "Jerry". I called the college where Jerry and Tom supposedly attended together. When I got in touch with the alumni association, I told them I was an old college friend who was looking for a new address for Jerry, since I had received some returned mail. The woman searched through the computer system and found no one by that name, and furthermore, no one with that LAST name in the system. She went through the last five years. Jerry supposedly graduated last year. So that confirmed a little of my suspicions.

Then I asked Tom, casually, where Jerry was working now. He shot off the name of a company based in his town. So I called them and asked to speak with Mr. Jerry. Their response? "Ma'am, no one by that name works here." So I asked if I might possibly have the wrong company branch, and she told me that she would check...after searching the company directory, no Jerry. Hmmmm.

I took this information and called Tom. I informed him very calmly of what I knew. Then I asked him what he had to say. He didn't respond for a long moment, then told me that he didn't know what to say. I agreed that in his position, I wouldn't know what to say, either. I told Tom that I would still like to have his friendship...that I was sure he had some sort of reason for all of it...and that I would like to talk with him again when he was comfortable with it.

And that was it. I'm not expecting to hear from him anytime soon.

So that's where it stands. Turns out the emails were coming from the same person. I'm still wondering why he felt it necessary to keep up the farce, and I'll probably never really know.

So thanks for all the info about emails and such. I have learned a lot! I hope I've learned enough that this doesn't happen again.

Thanks, all.

S.