how do covid-cautious people date nowadays? (or do they not?)

[stickygirl]

I was a teenager in Europe in the 1980s. Casual hook-ups were a big no-no then, because of AIDS.

Or at least, that was the excuse girls used to get rid of me.

Well I didn't want to be preachy, but yea - I've always been upfront and cautious. I'm sure I was routinely screened for hiv with all the blood tests I've had to have, given that I'm in a statistically high-risk group.

I've had one go of NSU and 'routine' bouts of yeast problems - candida. Several friends have discovered they had chlamydia through routine check-ups. Never fuck a student, but I gather the older swinger generation is full of it too.

Perhaps there should be a thread asking what STIs people have suffered, to raise awareness? Those bugs are out there and we're just a meat bag to them. Sorry I've gone off-topic.

 

[StillStunned]

Actually, I didn't have any view over your stance on vaccinations - I certainly didn't assume you were an anti-vaxxer. My response was to your seeming view that Covid has magically vanished merely because most people aren't talking about it and the media has, by and large, moved on to other things. However, for many people Covid is still an active anxiety, either because they have immunity issues or they are still suffering from its effects, and thus talking about it is hardly ridiculous as your previous contributions seemed to imply.

Published on the BBC website just today: https://www.bbc.com/news/health-67726685

 

[HordHolm]

I agree with you that for a segment of the population who have compromised immune systems or other serious health issues, covid is still a big problem. However, a lot of other things are life theatening for them as well. I might also ask should these people be dating or having sex at all? Probably not. So, yes, I still think the thread is ridiculous.

But why do you feel the need to comment? Frankly, if I think something isn't worth my attention I certainly don't then bother commenting on it. To do so suggests only the person doing so is oh, so keen to parade their own sense of superiority over those poor fools who are actually bothered by the issue in question - "Look how clever I am slating the thing you're talking about, idiots."

 

[HordHolm]

Normally I would not have bothered because there is so much nonsense on Lit. There was something about the continued covid hysteria that got me. From people who do not have any health issues.

I'm going to park this conversation here, because I've no intention of derailing it and taking it away from what the OP intended, or at least any further than it already has been taken. However, your reply is disingenuous and only sidesteps my point. If you aren't interested in something, have the courtesy to leave it to those who are. Or would you rather people delved into what you care about and then emulated your kind of negativity all over that in the name of trying to look superior?

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Start with something online, work up to some sexting and maybe zoom sex, then exchange vax cards and negative test results before meeting in person, for a picnic at a park in a very secluded place?

A two-week quarantine for each of the people followed by a way to meet face-to-face without interacting with other people ("dirty outsiders") could have potential.

Besides hanging a lampshade on the plot point which allows them to finally meet and share intimacy, the idea also provides development of anticipation, focus on motivation and desire, catharsis when the isolation ends, and a wild, hunger-fueled denouement when they overcome all the barriers and finally trust each other to be non-infectious.

First time they meet in person is at some isolated air BnB in the mountains for a wild weekend? Then you have that anticipation that Britva mentioned but you also have the angst, what if we don't "click" when we actually meet? Then I'm stuck here with this person for a week.

Maybe the answer is that they fall for each other so quickly and intensely that they can't NOT date?

I picture the following; They're in queue to get their vaccines. Facemasks on. Their eyes meet. Instant attraction. After getting their shots, they have to sit in a 'waiting area' for a bit to make sure there's no side effects or that they get nauseous before they're allowed to go home. They sit 'next to each other', but still many feet apart for safety reasons. But they keep exchanging glances, and start talking. They end up going on a spontaneous date together as they leave the medical centre, staying at a distance the whole time. When they finally feel too hot and bothered to keep away from each other, they go back on one of their places - and they're all over each other in a heartbeat.

... Then the masks come off and suddenly they realize that they used to know each other when they were kids or something. Some sort of dramatic twist! Could be spicy.

Maybe it starts as an online romance and builds from there. Kind of like 19th century mail romances with long flourishing letters full of all kinds of stuff. Some of those went on for years...

You can make their cautiousness as central or not central to the story as you like. For most COVID-cautious, the basic practice is masking indoors in public. They'd already be vaxxed and boostered, unless they have health issues that prevent vaccination. They'd probably have spent time Zooming together, or maybe they just meet outside, with or without masks. And there are such things as rapid tests; they would use those liberally if they think they might have been recently exposed. So meeting at a sidewalk cafe, a picnic in the park, a weekend at a cabin... all that could work.

As you mention, there are also communities and groups that have COVID-cautious meeting rules, particularly any groups that want to be inclusive. So a con might be meet-cute setting, amongst people who are masked and making Corsi-Rosenthal boxes together.

You could add an element of mystery between two masked people who've never seen each other's entire faces before - until the moment they do. And building trust and taking risks could be a significant part of their interaction, as would be coping with some level of social isolation. Even within these communities, people assess risk differently, so one might well be more cautious than the other.

When you finish the story, you should link to it in the thread! Good luck.

Thanks, these are all great ideas that treat the subject in a more insightful and fruitful way than I was able to accomplish on my own. Let's see what I can make of them.

@yibala Yes, will definitely link back here. Shameless self-promotion and I are good friends.

I wrote this one in April 2020, a month or so after Covid hit Australia and lock downs began - it caught the mood as it was then.

A Girl on the Bus, Part 7

I took characters from a previous story cycle, but it's basically stand-alone.

Shameless self-promotion! My Covid story: Closeness
Based on true events.

Thanks for these examples!

Taking all this into consideration, casual dating in-person isn't something I can do right now. Even if I met and connected with someone in-person first, we'd still have to talk online for a while first while the above requirements are met, and if we're still interested in each other, I'd be more open to meeting, kissing, and more.

Understandably, all of this limits my options, but at this point in my life, I'm fine with being picky enough to wait for someone who cares about my life and health.

I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for telling me your story. I hope I can write my story in a way that is both interesting for the readers on this site and also respectful of the reality in which people like you live.

I'm seeing an I/T story here...

I really want to write an I/T story, for the views if nothing else, but I just cannot wrap my mind around the mindset. I have an idea that kind of works (senile mom confuses son with dead husband, son plays along to avoid hurting her feelings) but it's almost a subversion of the core doctrine of I/T and anyway I haven't made any progress on actually writing the thing.