How long to date before becoming "exclusive"?

[Guest]

I know there is no hard and fast rule on this but as a general rule fo thumb, how long would two people need to be dating before the relationship could be safely assumed to be exclusive? Obviously this would be discussed between the two people involved beforehand. Just curious as to what the Lit thinks is a common timeframe.

 

[Noor]

I know there is no hard and fast rule on this but as a general rule fo thumb, how long would two people need to be dating before the relationship could be safely assumed to be exclusive? Obviously this would be discussed between the two people involved beforehand. Just curious as to what the Lit thinks is a common timeframe.

You can never safely assume exclusivity. How long? Until you can't even think of dating anyone else? Some people on lit don't have exclusive relationships.

 

[fgarvb1]

When its time you will know it. It just happens.

or not.

 

[ozbloke1980]

Honestly I don't think there is a difinitive answer to the question. It depends really. Even if you have had sex with them a number of time there's no guarentees.

 

[sharpchick]

I always vote for specific conversation about exclusivity and no assumptions. As to when, it just depends on how well you click (although I'll never again get exclusive with someone whose sex drive doesn't at least match mine).

 

[Meat Whistler]

There isn't a hard and fast rule for something of this nature. You really have to see how the both of you are feeling and if the time is right, you will know.

 

[sheath]

I think it just happens. When two people get to that point of wanting that person and no one else, then it's time to be exclusive and set some further ground rules for the relationship.

So far as a timeline...it depends. I married my ex-husband three weeks after I met him, and we were exclusive after the first date. There was another relationship that never became exclusive, yet lasted for quite a while. It just depends on what feels right.

S.

 

[watergirl]

You'll know...

Sometimes it's immediately, sometimes it's never.

I've always been pretty much a 'one at a time' girl... for a while in college I wasn't, when I was a freshman, and for a while after a four & a half year relationship ended, I wasn't ready for commitment... but even if I'm just in a fuck-buddy arrangement, I've become very much a one guy at a time girl. It's just better for my clarity of mind and emotions that way.

But, not everyone is like that, so talking to your partner is important.

 

[NaiveOne]

I'm probably one of the few people here on Lit who thinks this way, but when I date someone I date only them. I'm a one guy girl. You get to know the person for awhile, then you kiss and fool around and "go out" or "date" until you realize that you would not be happy being with this person for the rest of your life. And you don't date them at all if you know this in the first place, no matter how much chemistry there is.

What can I say, that's how I operate.

Good question.

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Pretty much in line what I had in my head but it's nice to see that others think the same way.

 

[H0wl]

Exclusivity has never been an issue for me.

I just don't usually feel the need to date anyone else even when I'm at the beginning of a relationship.

 

[frisky]

Definately one at a time. The stories we've all heard from blurting out the wrong name....

 

[Xt4cY]

Definately one at a time. The stories we've all heard from blurting out the wrong name....

I definately second that, just turn the tables and think...u go on a great date and you really enjoying the persons company, you definately want to see them again, so you ask for a second date, and they tell u that day they are going on another date...i dunno but that would kill it all together for me..