How many dirty fantasies have you revealed in your relationship(s)?

[ChasBozwell30]

In my relationship with a professional domme, of course I revealed all of my dirtiest fantasies to her and it was such a catharsis to be able to share these things, and explore them with someone.
But of course, she was a professional, and in the end, could not satisfy my need for a real, soulful romantic connection- I was just a cash cow for her to be milked and the relationship could not be sustained.

With all my vanilla romantic partners, I have not shared any of my dirty fantasies, for fear that it would lead to... them no longer being my vanilla romantic partners.

I could imagine such a conversation going like this:

"You know babe, it really turns me on to prostrate naked in front of you and lick your leather boots. And I, uh, like being spanked, peed on, and forced to worship a plastic dildo. I, uh, hope you don't think that's weird..."

Her response: "EEEW! What's wrong with you! That's creepy and gross! Ick! I'm leaving. Bye!"

That's how I am, saw a domme for a few sessions and felt a fantastic sense of catharsis and release, but i don't want to rely on her for that. That's not going to go anywhere, sadly.
It would be great to find something real with someone else, but how on earth do you bring these things up? What if they don't react well? It feels like you have to settle for living half a life, but at least then you have a shot at being happy...

 

[EoghanDubhara]

Sadly, none. The guys I've dated have been pretty vanilla, and I don't know how to bring up that I'm so kinky.

 

[9to5]

Sadly, none. The guys I've dated have been pretty vanilla, and I don't know how to bring up that I'm so kinky.

after reading some of your stories I do hope you get to act them out sometime, very exciting read

 

[sandybrooke]

My wife knows of ALL my fucked up fantasies. She has quite a few herself!

 

[cdstefi]

My wife's heard all mine. But then we did meet on fetlife so she was already aware I was a crossdresser and loved wearing lingerie.

Because she likes to reads gay erotica, our latest game is I'll talk man sex to her while she's masturbating, describing taking a large hard cock up my ass and riding it till his cum erupts inside my rectum, or being a bukkake toy for a queue of men lining up to ejaculate on my bra and panties; that kind of thing does actually turn her on a lot.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I hid this side of me from my ex-husband. We had been together since high school and grew differently. He is very vanilla and, over time, I learned that I am not so vanilla (although I find some vanilla from time to time to be delicious). I didn’t know I had these interests until we had been together more than a decade and I tried to bring them up and he flipped out. I learned very quickly he didn’t want to talk about sex at all, but especially not any level of kink.

I explored here. Made friends here. Made more than friends here… About 7 years ago when I got together with the guy I’m still with, I brought up BDSM during the first conversation we had about sex. To say he lit up was an understatement. Turns out we had this in common, hallelujah. It’s pretty amazing to not have to hide it. We are fortunate that our kinks mostly line up, too. And, if I start a conversation about sex and sexual fantasies, he smirks and his eyes twinkle and he will stop whatever he was doing to be fully in this conversation. Very different than what I experienced with my ex, and it’s wonderful.

 

[EoghanDubhara]

after reading some of your stories I do hope you get to act them out sometime, very exciting read

Aw, thank you! Those are obviously some of my fantasies. A lot of them would be difficult to play out in real life, but I'd love to find a partner who would enjoy more than a plain vanilla sex life. One day!

 

[pumperguy191]

I told my wife about 1 particular fantasy a few years ago and totally regret it. She made fun of me and told several others. I was quite embarrassed

 

[Dreamer110]

I told my wife about 1 particular fantasy a few years ago and totally regret it. She made fun of me and told several others. I was quite embarrassed

Ah c'mon. Now you just gotta tell us.

 

[seela]

And how much is exactly left that you keep hidden away? Do you think D/s leads to more openness and honesty, or is that just delusional hubris? Do submissives or dominants worry less about scaring their partner away compared to vanilla couples?

I don’t believe that D/s leads to more openness and honesty. It’s a pretty goal to strive for in any relationship, I suppose, but it needs work and effort and isn’t something that just happens simply because people get off on power imbalance. People are people, relationships are relationships. Just because they’re D or s it doesn’t make them magical or automatically any better at relationship skills.

As for my own fantasies, I have revealed most, but not all of them in my primary relationship, and some that I’ve revealed, I’ve only revealed partially without telling every little detail that gets me off.

I’ve never really stopped to think closer about why I haven’t shared all my fantasies, which is a little weird, so thanks for asking the question! I realized that with a couple of fantasies I’ve held back, because they’re later add-ons into my spank bank, and I can remember my partner making not super appreciative comments about those themes in the past, even if the topic has never really been discussed. I have other people in my life who know about these fantasies, though, or who have helped make them into reality.

It’s a little silly not to talk about these things with my primary partner, though. We’ve been together for close to 20 years now, the chances are that his thoughts on the topics have evolved one way or another. I’m not really even worried about grossing him out or scaring him off or anything, so really there’s no good reason not to share these. It’s time to have a discussion!

Another reason for not sharing is that I enjoy having something just for myself, too. They are mostly fantasies that I don’t want to make into reality or that cannot be made into reality and in a way I feel like if I try to verbalize the somewhat ephemeral thoughts, my words won’t do them justice and then the fantasy will break.

 

[Dreamboy994]

And how much is exactly left that you keep hidden away? Do you think D/s leads to more openness and honesty, or is that just delusional hubris? Do submissives or dominants worry less about scaring their partner away compared to vanilla couples?

I don't think the D/s dynamic is going to increase the level of honesty/openness between a couple.
It's not a matter of vanilla vs. D/s, but rather healthy communication, boundaries, and respect.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Another reason for not sharing is that I enjoy having something just for myself, too. They are mostly fantasies that I don’t want to make into reality or that cannot be made into reality and in a way I feel like if I try to verbalize the somewhat ephemeral thoughts, my words won’t do them justice and then the fantasy will break

I can very much relate.

 

[BiBunny]

There are definitely things I wish I could tell my Daddy. But I'm gonna be real with y'all: he's just not as kinky as I am. I knew it from the beginning, so I've made my bed. But the ex I could tell everything was a sociopath (which is why I could tell him anything). I wish there were some sort of happy medium, lol.

 

[BoredIndianaDad40]

Have revealed very few to the wife and she would be absolutely shocked

 

[van_delay]

Have revealed very few to the wife and she would be absolutely shocked

Same here

 

[Easypeter]

Sadly, none. The guys I've dated have been pretty vanilla, and I don't know how to bring up that I'm so kinky.

Only way to have a great relationship is to be honest and open from the beginning . You might be surprised at how your openness starts the ball rolling

 

[Purple_Fronds]

I hid this side of me from my ex-husband. We had been together since high school and grew differently. He is very vanilla and, over time, I learned that I am not so vanilla (although I find some vanilla from time to time to be delicious). I didn’t know I had these interests until we had been together more than a decade and I tried to bring them up and he flipped out. I learned very quickly he didn’t want to talk about sex at all, but especially not any level of kink.

I explored here. Made friends here. Made more than friends here… About 7 years ago when I got together with the guy I’m still with, I brought up BDSM during the first conversation we had about sex. To say he lit up was an understatement. Turns out we had this in common, hallelujah. It’s pretty amazing to not have to hide it. We are fortunate that our kinks mostly line up, too. And, if I start a conversation about sex and sexual fantasies, he smirks and his eyes twinkle and he will stop whatever he was doing to be fully in this conversation. Very different than what I experienced with my ex, and it’s wonderful.

That’s such a good story and yes Vanilla is pretty tasty too

 

[bichbo]

a lot, but it felt good

 

[Erosfan]

And how much is exactly left that you keep hidden away? Do you think D/s leads to more openness and honesty, or is that just delusional hubris? Do submissives or dominants worry less about scaring their partner away compared to vanilla couples?

I hid nothing from my wife. We had some amazing experiences over the years. She called me her slut and I loved being her slut. She knew she could do anything she wanted with me or to me, any time, anywhere. We were not into the cuckold thing. I just loved it when she took charge. I'm an exhibitionist with a strong leaning to CFNM. She used that to her advantage and my pleasure many times.