How many

[Stewart_Pidd]

Do you want to deflower me?

he doesn't want shit on his dick bro!

Stew

 

[Learnsmith]

How would you know? What he got to take a test before you lay with him?

Got to get tested before every new partner. Sucks, but better than catching something. Or passing something along.

 

[Wife of Bath]

Got to get tested before every new partner. Sucks, but better than catching something. Or passing something along.

Making the assumption that every sexual partner has been honest about their status (also assuming that they even know) is foolish. Always better to make sure someone gets tested. Always.

 

[MissPrim]

Many Partners vs. a Few

Who knows why. Maybe lower count women do not feel they have as many options. Maybe they don't wonder what they are missing out on.

Or maybe it says more about the personality of the woman. Someone whose had many partners may just enjoy or need more variety and may find a single partner just doesn't scratch the itch. However, a woman with fewer sex partners may just enjoy her partner and doesn't need variety for a satisfying sex life.

 

[Learnsmith]

Making the assumption that every sexual partner has been honest about their status (also assuming that they even know) is foolish. Always better to make sure someone gets tested. Always.

Harder to have that talk, certainly, but worth it for everyone.

 

[bronzeage]

I hope my future husbands says "Anything around 100 but no more".

The last time I asked a woman how many lovers she had, she said, 'You mean, like today?"

 

[Mischka]

Regardless of whether you intend to marry, sociological studies of divorced couples show that the number of previous partners the woman has had is one of the best correlated numbers. Why that is, can only be speculated upon.

The number of partners that the man has had...did not correlate.

This means that low count women are better bets, all other things being equal than higher count women.

Who knows why. Maybe lower count women do not feel they have as many options. Maybe they don't wonder what they are missing out on.

Or maybe it says more about the personality of the woman. Someone whose had many partners may just enjoy or need more variety and may find a single partner just doesn't scratch the itch. However, a woman with fewer sex partners may just enjoy her partner and doesn't need variety for a satisfying sex life.

The study conflates correlation with causation. Furthermore, it makes several assumptions that I question - arbitrarily suggesting that the top 40% of respondents are "happy" (Why 40%? What is "happy"?); suggesting that long-term monogamous marriage is an end result everyone should strive to achieve; and, indeed, that monogamy is required for a happy marriage.

As MissPrim suggests, I think there is more to it than just looking at x number of partners leading to a single outcome. Human sexuality is a complex thing. Perhaps the reason those with few sexual partners are more satisfied in monogamous marriages is that they are more naturally inclined to a monogamous model, be it from societal conditioning or natural proclivity. Perhaps those that chafe under those same rules are going against their preferred status of serial monogamy or polygamy.

Unlike animals, no one sexual model fits all humans. We are not all monogamous. We are not all polygamous. We are not all heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. The fluidity in human sexuality demonstrates that different people can, and do, choose different paths, with varying degrees of success. Some people (truly, probably most) feel most comfortable in a monogamous situation, be it with one lifelong partner or a series of monogamous partners. Others want committed relationships with more than one partner at a time. Still others prefer a main partner with other side partners.

Before I met Mr Mischka, I did not commit to anyone. I was openly non-monogamous. Then I met him, and from that day forward - for well over a decade - I only had eyes for him. I stopped seeing anyone else in any sort of sexual light. I thought I had found the secret to monogamy, and in a way, I had. But then that feeling began to wane, and I blamed myself. I fought against my nature, doing my best to not think of others, to bury any thoughts not completely focused on Mr Mischka. Until one day, I realized I probably wasn't the only one battling these ideas.

We discussed it, and we both revealed we had been questioning whether monogamy was the best path for us. We are strongly committed to each other, but now we enjoy relationships with others as well. The side affairs are more of an occasional hobby - our lives are already busy with so many other things - but it's the breathing room that I appreciate. I indulge in others that have proclivities or interests that Mr Mischka may not have (or parts he does not possess), but ultimately, I get to choose and return to my husband time and again. This fluidity feels far better suited to our natural temperaments.