How to be safe

[aurally]

I'm intensely bi-curious and looking to suck that first delicious cock, the way I've imagined a thousand times.
The question is:how can I be safe from STDs?
Do people agree to get tested? I'd happily pay for that for him.
Appreciate your help on this

 

[Britva415]

Would you be this apprehensive if you were pursuing women? Don’t let the fact that you’re interested in men make you misjudge the risks.

Anyway, in my case, I have a doctor I can talk to about this stuff. I get tested regularly. I can get pre and post exposure medications to prevent infections. And I don’t let this fear stop me from going out and getting it.

AND I don’t have to hide it from my wife. If you do, you have more to worry about than infections.

You can’t count on your potential partner to jump though all your testing hoops. You can ask, but they might just move on to someone who’s less effort. Then again, they might have a suite of recent test results ready to show you, no problem. Be willing to ask and not take it personally if they are looking for someone “easier.”

And don’t be so afraid. I understand you fear the worst, but you’ll probably not acquire anything, and if you do, your tests will catch it. And for the most part, treatment will knock it out with just a few pills.

 

[aurally]

Thank you

Would you be this apprehensive if you were pursuing women? Don’t let the fact that you’re interested in men make you misjudge the risks.

Anyway, in my case, I have a doctor I can talk to about this stuff. I get tested regularly. I can get pre and post exposure medications to prevent infections. And I don’t let this fear stop me from going out and getting it.

AND I don’t have to hide it from my wife. If you do, you have more to worry about than infections.

You can’t count on your potential partner to jump though all your testing hoops. You can ask, but they might just move on to someone who’s less effort. Then again, they might have a suite of recent test results ready to show you, no problem. Be willing to ask and not take it personally if they are looking for someone “easier.”

And don’t be so afraid. I understand you fear the worst, but you’ll probably not acquire anything, and if you do, your tests will catch it. And for the most part, treatment will knock it out with just a few pills.

I've been married for 10+ years so I haven't had to think about this. If I chased women I would indeed have the same concerns.

Forgive me if this seems stupid but are there guys who'd be okay just starting with a hand job? I'd love to give them, especially in a semi-public place, and I know I would be really good at it. I'd have no worries about them cumming on me vs in my mouth. Is it realistic? Sorry but these are my first attempts to act on my feelings and I'm a newbie.

 

[Phxjwb]

I'm intensely bi-curious and looking to suck that first delicious cock, the way I've imagined a thousand times.
The question is:how can I be safe from STDs?
Do people agree to get tested? I'd happily pay for that for him.
Appreciate your help on this

You just need to find an old dude who's wife is no longer wanting sex and his is in a dead bedroom.

 

[aurally]

You just need to find an old dude who's wife is no longer wanting sex and his is in a dead bedroom.

Yeah I've thought about this exact thing. Another married guy. But how?

 

[Britva415]

There are lots of those guys on all the apps. Sniffles, Grindr, Silverdaddies, etc. And at all the cruising spots. The only way to find them is to put yourself out there. They aren't going to come to you because they're picky, not sure it's worth it, fearing all the same stuff you fear, so, they dither and flake a lot.

But you might find someone who isn't exactly who you think has to fit your expectations - maybe they're divorced. Or gay. Why limit your consideration? Someone like this is way less likely to waste your time with endless chat and never dare to meet.

This really comes down to "how bad do you want it." The fact that millions of bi-curious married guys anonymously say they do doesn't translate to many of them ever actually daring to do it. So you have to try harder than those guys do. Make the effort. Sift through the game players and only-chatters till you figure out which guys will meet and drop trou.

the safety and confidentiality risks are very manageable, especially with a bit of willingness to pick a doc to talk to, or even just a public health counselor. I get it - you want to be safe. The tools are available and the willing guys are everywhere. How bad do you want it?

 

[aurally]

There are lots of those guys on all the apps. Sniffles, Grindr, Silverdaddies, etc. And at all the cruising spots. The only way to find them is to put yourself out there. They aren't going to come to you because they're picky, not sure it's worth it, fearing all the same stuff you fear, so, they dither and flake a lot.

But you might find someone who isn't exactly who you think has to fit your expectations - maybe they're divorced. Or gay. Why limit your consideration? Someone like this is way less likely to waste your time with endless chat and never dare to meet.

This really comes down to "how bad do you want it." The fact that millions of bi-curious married guys anonymously say they do doesn't translate to many of them ever actually daring to do it. So you have to try harder than those guys do. Make the effort. Sift through the game players and only-chatters till you figure out which guys will meet and drop trou.

the safety and confidentiality risks are very manageable, especially with a bit of willingness to pick a doc to talk to, or even just a public health counselor. I get it - you want to be safe. The tools are available and the willing guys are everywhere. How bad do you want it?

Makes sense -thanks for the honesty

 

[Kevinjkson]

One man's view: anyone who won't talk to you about their sexual behaviors (so that you can know how risky they are to play with) and provide you with recent clean test results (blood test, not just an "at home" test); isn't worth bothering to play with.

Doesn't matter to me whether it is a man or a woman, how old they are, or where you met them. If they want to play, they should answer your questions honestly, and you should answer theirs.

 

[CKTC]

Yeah I've thought about this exact thing. Another married guy. But how?

Silverdaddies is pretty good for this. I’m pretty similar to how you described yourself and I was able to find a married guy I could have hooked up with pretty easily on there. Ultimately, I was still not ready to take the plunge, but it wasn’t hard at all to find someone.

 

[aurally]

One man's view: anyone who won't talk to you about their sexual behaviors (so that you can know how risky they are to play with) and provide you with recent clean test results (blood test, not just an "at home" test); isn't worth bothering to play with.

Doesn't matter to me whether it is a man or a woman, how old they are, or where you met them. If they want to play, they should answer your questions honestly, and you should answer theirs.

Thank you. That's pretty much my view too. I'd be happy to pay for testing if they hadn't done it recently. I just wasn't sure what the "rules" were and if that question was handled another way. For example, someone once told me they only give BJs cause they can't catch anything from that!

 

[aurally]

Silverdaddies is pretty good for this. I’m pretty similar to how you described yourself and I was able to find a married guy I could have hooked up with pretty easily on there. Ultimately, I was still not ready to take the plunge, but it wasn’t hard at all to find someone.

do they come with testing in hand? I mean if they're on SD then they might be as risky as anyone else right?

 

[CKTC]

do they come with testing in hand? I mean if they're on SD then they might be as risky as anyone else right?

I think you’ll have to accept that you’ll have to ask and filter guys based on their answer/willingness to get tested. If you are looking for a service where you can order the perfect, tested hook up, it probably doesn’t exist. In my very limited experience chatting with potential partners, testing was not uncommon and people were willing to share results upfront.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

I'm intensely bi-curious and looking to suck that first delicious cock, the way I've imagined a thousand times.
The question is:how can I be safe from STDs?
Do people agree to get tested? I'd happily pay for that for him.
Appreciate your help on this

It’s a dangerous world.

 

[OralAllOver]

Re Safety

Sophisticated AI robots out soon. (Coming out of China, not the closet)

That's safest bet. Get tetnus shot