How to do your first threesome...

[WCUGrad01]

My first message on the board detailed my first Bi experiance which was more of a rape then anything. You would think this would have made me either a homophobe or at least a gay basher but for some reason I am leaning toward being bi...no idea why. Recently I confessed to my GF of three years that I would want to try a threesome with another man where would would play with eachother. We are starting to move forward but I was wondering if anyone else has ever done a bi threesome and if so what are some of the things we should do, shouldn't do, talk about beforehand, etc... We are very new to this lifestyle and looking for advice. Thanks.

Chris

 

[Stefani]

Threesomes are not for everyone.

My boyfriend suggested we do one with another guy one time. I knew it wouldn't work because my boyfriend was the jealous type. I warned him, but he wanted to try it anyway, so I said okay. Then, when we got back to his place, as soon as this other guy took me in his arms and started kissing me and touching my body... my boyfriend went BESERK! He started screaming at the guy to get the F--- out and calling me a whore. Ack.

The only 3somes i was ever involved in that worked, was when i was the 3rd party with other couples. Have been with 2 women, married couples, and with 2 men. The two men were the most fun, because the two of them took turns making love to me all night long. Loved it!

One word of caution. If you go about doing this with your girlfriend, make sure you show her lots of love and attention. If you show too much attention to the other guy, she may get jealous, or she may begin to doubt that you like men more than women. Just be careful.

 

[WCUGrad01]

Thank you Stefani, I was hoping the news wouldn't all be good. Well, we are both selecting out guy from a website and we are both talking to him. We are hoping for another couple but couples where there are 2 bi people are few and far between aroubnd out age aparently (mid 20's). We are hoping bu talking it slow and doing the online and phone chat thing that everyone will be come comfortible. Thank you again.

 

[SweetErika]

Hi Chris. I'd suggest asking this in GLBT Chatter as well...a ton of people who have experience with threesomes and moresomes regularly post there. Overall, I don't know how much the genders of the people involved matter...you always want to talk about everything beforehand, set firm boundaries and "outs", think of all of the worst-case scenarios and have a plan, make sure everyone is on the same page, and make safety your top priority.

If your gf's still looking to experiment, you might want to consider looking for other bi couples, possibly in the Swingers community, although I don't doubt you'll find lots of single bi/bicurious men there as well. Swingers Board has tons of great info and people to talk about the emotional, groundrules, and logistics aspects with, and Swing Life Style might be a good resource for you too. Just an idea.

 

[Eilan]

Stefani and SweetErika have offered really good advice. I'm going to try to add to it without being too repetitive.

Make sure that your relationship is stable to begin with. Swinging/threesomes shouldn't be used to resurrect a dying relationship.

Also--make sure that this is something that you both ABSOLUTELY want to do. If one of you is having misgivings, then don't do it. Maybe you'll try again later, maybe you won't. Respect each other's wishes.

Emails and phone calls are a good start, but I would suggest meeting whomever that you're interesting in inviting to join you at least once in a nonsexual public setting, like a restaurant. If he/she refuses to do this, find someone who's worth your time.

Finally, remember that sometimes fantasy is best left as fantasy, though you don't always know this until it becomes reality. Tread carefully.

Good luck to both of you.

 

[hogjack]

Gather up to three people, get the Twister game out, and see what happens.

 

[SecretWindow]

hogjack, you're forgeting the oil. greasy, naked twister is guaranteed to work.

 

[hogjack]

hogjack, you're forgeting the oil. greasy, naked twister is guaranteed to work.

I assumed that lubrication was a given. However, explicit instructions do make sense. Thanks for adding those details.

 

[College_geek]

My boyfriend suggested we do one with another guy one time. I knew it wouldn't work because my boyfriend was the jealous type. I warned him, but he wanted to try it anyway, so I said okay. Then, when we got back to his place, as soon as this other guy took me in his arms and started kissing me and touching my body... my boyfriend went BESERK! He started screaming at the guy to get the F--- out and calling me a whore. Ack.

Goodness!

 

[silverwhisper]

stefani: that really stinks.

WCUgrad: let us know how it goes?

ed