How To: Ever get over an ex?

[biggieds]

I can't get over my ex-girlfriend.

I'm not going to call her I'm going to give her space.

I want her so bad.

I can clear my mind for hours of her, but she always comes back to me in the mornings, in the evenings, in the late afternoon.

I know it takes time.


Does it take long to get over an Ex? Is it worth trying to get her back [after a gap in the relashionship]?

Dave

 

[phoenix1224]

It varies from person to person and relationship to relationship regarding how long it takes to get over a break up... There's no set time limit.

But I wouldn't suggest trying to get her back... An ex is an ex for a reason (even if that reason is HER'S).

I suspect that because it's YOU that's having a hard time getting over it, SHE broke up with YOU? If that's the case, I've been there and I know it sucks... But it'll get better with time.

I would suggest that you fill up the time that you would have spent with HER with OTHER THINGS... Go to the gym, take up a hobby, read a book... Something... Anything to help keep your mind occupied with other things besides HER.

Before you know it, you'll find yourself feeling just fine about the break up.

 

[TirelessTongue]

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone !

 

[EJFan]

tireless tongue makes a great point! lol. i like that philosophy.

there was one g/f i had about ten years ago and i'm STILL not over her in a lot of ways. there aren't any physical reminders of her around... i have no pictures, letters, gifts, etc. but i often think of her and the things we did several times a week even though we haven't spoken in at least 6 years.

it was just a special relationship and memories never really die. depending on how long you were together and how emotionally close you were, it could take a very long time... maybe even forever. the people we share our lives with are part of us. in many ways, they're the reason we are who we are at present. for better or worse, when two objects cross paths (be it atoms, people, plants, whatever) they take on components of one another and shape each other's future.

i think the bigger point is not to focus on getting over her, per se, but focusing on moving on to other things and people. having lingering thoughts is fine, just don't obsess over it.

 

[corkie2]

I think sometimes we think "getting over" someone/thing means we no longer have any thoughts or feelings about it/them. Instead I feel that we learn to accept the reality that is.

The best we can do when a relationship ends is look at it objectively. Try and learn what went wrong and what we need to do to keep it from happening again. If we don't learn from our mistakes we are fated to keep making them over and over again.

Keep busy and don't dwell on the loss.......give yourself a bit of time but keep tellinging yourself that you will accept what is. As time passes it WILL get better as you said you already know.

Corkie

 

[LadyJeanne]

I've heard the 'getting over someone' rule is it takes at least half the time you were together to get over someone. So if you'd been together for a year, it would take 6 months to fully stop thinking about them. But, your mileage might vary.

As for getting back together, it depends on the reasons you brok up in the first place. If she did the breaking-up, she's the one who needs to make an effort to get back together. If she said she needed space, it's possible she might want to try it again once she's had time to herself. It's not likely that she will, but it's possible. But you'd really have to wait for her to do it, and do you really want to wait around for her when she's said she rather not be with you?

Stay busy, spend a lot of time with your friends, enjoy your life, and you'll likely meet someone who wants to be with you without reservations.

 

[cuz cracker]

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone !

yes, that and time is the only two things i know of.

 

[nycphoto]

There are two things to miss about an ex. It would be genuine love or it could be that you miss the sex desperatly. We have all been there and sometimes troubled with both these problems.
The best way to get over her body is to go ahead and get yourself another woman. It will be odd at first because you will have to conquest her and then she will not be used to how you guys had sex before. However I can tell you this new flesh will make you forget quick about old flesh. Best type to get is slutty women.
However if you were in love you will have the hardest time in hell forgetting her. This is especially true if you feel that because of you you made her go away. The only thing that will solve that is time. If the love was so powerfull you might never stop missing her. Now the reality of it is the pain will diminish and life goes on. As far as entering another relationship go for it. If it does not work out at least you have been able to sample another woman.

 

[done_got_old]

I found that listing all the things that annoyed me about the ex helps.......then list all the things I knew annoyed the ex about me. Once I looked at the list, I wondered why I stayed so long.

If the relationship was working, there wouldn't be an ex to talk about. I think someone alluded to that earlier. Sometimes I think we miss being in a relationship more than being with someone.

 

[cmmots]

Get a bottle of Jim Beam and drink heavily. Repeat as needed.

 

[Candee]

The hardest part of getting over the ex for me was learning to be on my own again. When the ex and I had broken up we had been together for only 3 years yet during that three years we went everywhere together and did almost everything together. I had stopped being myself and was part of a couple. Only time we were appart was when we fought and broke up for short periods of time.

Once I learned to enjoy being on my own it was much easier to get over the ex in the sense that I no longer needed to be with him to enjoy myself. I will always care for my ex's and am friends with almost all of them. They are ex's for a reason and we know why. All of them are happy I've met someone who makes me happy and they are friends with him also. It's a strange little soap opera world but it works for us!

 

[sassykat]

~snip~
Sometimes I think we miss being in a relationship more than being with someone.

A relationship that I was in ended a couple months ago. At first it was really hard, and I thought I missed him all the time. But as time went on, I realized I missed having someone. It wasn't so much him, I do miss him too, but we were not good for each other and I think we both knew that, but I missed having someone to talk to on IM, and send silly or romantic cards too, or too just lay around and watch movies or tv with. I had been alone for 9 years when I met him and thought I was destined to be alone...but something really clicked with him and I let him in my life, as he did me, and it was really good at first. When things started not being good, I kept trying to hang on to him. But I think it was the relationship I was trying to hang on to. He was no longer the same guy that I had met, and everything he said he fell in love with me for, he now wanted to change. I kept thinking he would return to the guy I met and fell in love with and I think he thought he could mold me into the person he wanted. Don't know for sure what happened to us, just that we both went through some really hard times when we were together. It gets easier with time. You just need to look at the big picture and see what was good about the person/relationship and what was not good. Makes it easier to move on. Cherish the memories of the good times.

 

[Dstorage]

I think the only thing that helps is time.

 

[Roscollo]

That sucks man. It is just gonna be rough no matter what. The best thing to do is try to keep a normal life. Move slowly and you will start to notice that after a while you will begin to feel better. Someone else said to pick up a hobby or get outside. That's probably a good idea. When you're depressed you won't feel like doing anything but you have to force yourself to get out, even just to walk around the block. Once you take those first steps it will be easier to keep moving. Good Luck.

 

[Eritz]

I'm still lamenting over my ex, and we broke up three years ago. We've only spoken twice since, one time we met via work and it was heart breaking, I just felt so close to her and couldn't believe that I couldn't just reach out and cuddle her or kiss her.

I sort of don't mind being on my own. For the past three years most of that time it's not been a huge issue for me but I recently met another nice girl who I asked out and got turned down by, so now I really am starting to feel a bit lonesome again and spending a lot more time thinkig about my ex.