How to...? (general sex)

[Frost0x0]

Just wondering on how to go about general sex? Best positions, how fast a girl expects the guy to put on the condom, foreplay neccessities (spelling?), and anything else really that will further help the experianced, or set the not-so-experianced (cough) on the right foot?

Its not so much that girls have come up to me after and said "you're terrible" or anything, but being 18 and having no idea what you're doing...well, it would be nice to have some kind of idea about what she wants, or the general female expectations.

 

[Bobmi357]

Of all the repetitive types of posts we see here, this one is of a type that I don't mind answering.

Your 18, at this age you're still suffering from a hormonal overload, and unfortunately if you're a typical male, looking at most women and thinking merely in terms of getting your rocks off.

My first suggestion, and this might not apply to you, but its worth hearing, is the simplest and the hardest of all. Get the idea of women being nothing more than a walking vagina out of your head. They are people. For every need you have, they have a corresponding need.

Now, the second suggestion is to learn the difference between fucking and making love. Fucking, is that cute little hottie you found at a party and will probably never see again. Making love is giving pleasure to a person you care deeply for, and in the act of giving pleasure, you take pleasure for yourself as well. Of the two, fucking is fun, but emotionally, making love is a much more rewarding experience.

Now lets say you're with a new girlfriend. You like her, want to impress her, but as you say, haven't a clue as to what your doing..... The key here is to start slow. Foreplay, lots of foreplay, observe her, she doesn't realize it, but she's giving off all sorts of subtle clues about what she likes and doesn't like. Talk with her, believe it or not if she is your age, this is probably a learning experience for her as well. Asking her what she wants will be a fresh experience for her as most guys she's known have probably just climbed on instead of trying to give her pleasure. Watch, talk and listen, not only to what she's saying, but what she's not saying, or saying with only sighes and breathing.

No one is born being a natural lover. We all stink in the beginning. But if you develop an attitude that you go into each encounter with the intent of pleasing your partner, you will find it a very rewarding experience. Sex should be mutually enjoyable, and from the moment you start stripping, you should recognize you have an obligation to your partner to make it as good for her as it is good for you. While your inexperience might not allow for that at first, if you just Watch, Listen and Talk to her, you'll do fine.

I'm from the old school and feel that some sort of emotional attachment really enhances the experience. Its the greatest feeling in the world when you're holding the woman you love in your arms and she's shuddering through an orgasm you gave her.

 

[I_Edwards]

Wow, nice advice.

 

[thegreenfairy]

The emotional stuff is very nice... but isn't always true. You can have great sex with an ex you hate, because they know your body. Start with learning about women - there is so much printed online. Also try asking her what she likes. Many women do know what they want, but are too shy to volunteer the information. If she's guiding your hand, or telling you what to do, that doesn't make you a bad lover - it makes you smart guy who is soon going to be a great lover.

As for etiquette - make sure you have condoms on hand. When the foreplay is getting hot and heavy, and you both have your clothes off, it is appropriate to ask "should I get a condom?" That way, she knows what's coming, and you give her an opportunity to say no to the sex if she doesn't want it. I'd suggest using a lubed condom, and its not a bad idea to have a bottle of lube stashed under your bed.


Good luck!

 

[Limbhugger]

Very well said Bobmi!

First let me say (I believe) the best sex you will ever have is with someone yu have a real emotional connection with.

Second, never forget that a woman is the most special wonderous creature ever created.

The best you can hope for Frost is to get in her mind. Excite her mind, her soul, her body. You have to think like a woman but not lose touch with your own manly mind. I know, I know. WTF? Trust me, when you get it, you'll get it. It takes a little time and practice and active thought.

In GENERAL women love to be seduced. We tend to want to get in there and get at it. And there isn't anything necessarily wrong with that and women often have the same urges it is just that we have them a lot more than they do...lol.

Just keep this in mind, if you do your job basically right, you're going to have an orgasm. I mean, our orgasms aren't generally that hard to convince into appereing. So don't worry so much about your own orgasm and focus on her. And don't be afraid to talk to her. Not like a science exam but ask her if things feel good, how she likes it, etc.

Now if you do your job well, you'll be the talk of the town. Especially at 18.

And never, never stop learning!

 

[Weird Harold]

Start with learning about women - there is so much printed online.

Good advice -- there really is a LOT of information online about pleasing women.

However, very little of it is in the stories at Lit and other Erotic Stories sites!

There is a LOT of bad information in most erotic stories. There are a very few erotic stories that have good advice and realistic sex, but other sites -- medical sites, advice sites, and the like are more likely to have good information for someone trying to learn about women.

I'd recommend that you have the condom ready but wait as long as possible to put it on -- there's less chance of accidental loss or damage if you wait until just before it's needed. Your girlfriend(s) may prefer something different, so ask her, or suggest she put it on you when she feels it's needed.

PS: If you go into a sexual encounter with the goal of pleasing your partner, she's more likely to want you to do it again. Your pleasure will come in the process of pleasing her, but if you don't please her because you're worried about getting yours, it will almost always be a one-night-stand.