How To: Get Over Her

[DrBones123]

Posted this in the cafe but figured I would post it over here also looking for some more responses...

This is my first time posting in this section but it seems like the people here offer good advice so I'll take my chances.. I met this girl a couple of months back and we hit it off instantly, leading to her being my first time.. We were together for a while and then she ended it because she didn't want to be in a serious relationship.. Everything was going great in my eyes so I was kind of surprised and it has taken me so long to get over.. I've made some passes to try to get back with her because I still like her but even though she's sent out signs she feels the same way, she rebuffs any attempt.. My question is, and might not be able to answered, but how I do get over her? I think about her all the time and no matter what I do I just cannot stop thinking about her...

 

[M's girl]

Same answer still. All you need is time, really.

 

[beachgirl4206]

my favorite four-letter word

You need to be nice to yourself. Spend your time on someone who will care about you back the way you care about them. you deserve someone who will love you back,,, If she doesnt want to be with you, she isnt worth your time and effort. You are probably missing out on someone who might be right under your nose because you are distracted by someone who is wasting your time. Dont rent out space in your head to someone who doesnt pay rent... When it comes to getting over a past relationship, you have to constantly re-think your thinking and be real with yourself --- face the truth, she isnt interested, it is unkind to yourself to delude yourself and waste your time....... Learn my favorite four-letter word when one relationship doesnt work out.... N E X T!!!!!!!! Only you can control what and who you think about!!!

 

[SweetErika]

I'd stop trying to get back with her if I were you; that won't help you move on.

Just a friendly reminder that it's generally considered poor form to cross-post on forums (not just here, but everywhere). If you think you posted in the wrong place (in this case, here would have been better because it gets more traffic than the Cafe), ask the forum's moderator to move the thread to where you want it. Re-posting the same thread kind of says the responses they got weren't good enough and/or the starter's impatient; not that you are or you meant it that way, I'm just passing on why it's usually not a good idea to cross-post.

 

[FurryFury]

Try to focus your thoughts on things that don't cause you pain, i.e. the failed possible relationship with her. Get busy with things in your life that bring you joy or are simply needed to keep your life on track and your bills paid. In time, unless you make yourself keep focusing on her, things will get better. Someday you might even forget her name or face. Good luck and keep moving forward.

Fury

 

[wickedlady31]

....

Posted this in the cafe but figured I would post it over here also looking for some more responses...

This is my first time posting in this section but it seems like the people here offer good advice so I'll take my chances.. I met this girl a couple of months back and we hit it off instantly, leading to her being my first time.. We were together for a while and then she ended it because she didn't want to be in a serious relationship.. Everything was going great in my eyes so I was kind of surprised and it has taken me so long to get over.. I've made some passes to try to get back with her because I still like her but even though she's sent out signs she feels the same way, she rebuffs any attempt.. My question is, and might not be able to answered, but how I do get over her? I think about her all the time and no matter what I do I just cannot stop thinking about her...

I've been there...stagnantly waiting for something..some semblance of a relationship to rekindle. To no avail...I was left alone...waiting.
Time does heal the broken heart and even still, despite time...you may think of her even a few years from now...but the thought won't be so painful..and with each thought...there is closure....
One thing you need to do is tell yourself..there is not a chance...to get back with her...it is over. Remind yourself daily if you have to.stop reading between the lines and searching for signs...you are only disappointing yourself.

 

[Cathleen]

I'll add another 4 letter word... time. It might sound cold but once you find another girl the pain goes away like *poof* (another 4 letter word).

So with beachgirl's next I say go forward.

 

[fgarvb1]

Posted this in the cafe but figured I would post it over here also looking for some more responses...

This is my first time posting in this section but it seems like the people here offer good advice so I'll take my chances.. I met this girl a couple of months back and we hit it off instantly, leading to her being my first time.. We were together for a while and then she ended it because she didn't want to be in a serious relationship.. Everything was going great in my eyes so I was kind of surprised and it has taken me so long to get over.. I've made some passes to try to get back with her because I still like her but even though she's sent out signs she feels the same way, she rebuffs any attempt.. My question is, and might not be able to answered, but how I do get over her? I think about her all the time and no matter what I do I just cannot stop thinking about her...

..................................................................................................................................
You will... it takes a while sometimes.

If you really want some pain. Fall in love at first sight, Marry them a couple years later when you are head over heels in love with them. Get in deeper and deeper each day for several more years and than have them suddenly, with out any Discernible warning leave you for someone else.

One can manage the pain fairly well in a few years but, getting over them?

Well...April 15 will be twenty seven years.

In twelve step programs you will often here the term "fake it 'till you make it"

That and try to live your life and be as happy and fall in love again as best as you can.

 

[subwannabe]

I've been there, done that, a long time ago. So, time does eventually heal all wounds. You need to get back up on the saddle and just go out - even with someone you are not interested in being serious with - just to get the ball rolling. As Erika basically said, you will never get over her until you quit trying to get back together.

 

[SesameStreet]

Keep busy. Do things that you enjoy with a group of your friends that does not include her. Go places with them and hopefully you will meet someone that you like well enough to date. The best way to forget one woman is to find a new one. But you have to cut the ties to the first one including deluding yourself that she is going to come back.

 

[DrBones123]

Thanks for all the replies people... I appreciate it... I think I know what I have to do