How to have an affair

[SweetSam42]

But I also understand why some men don't want to put the effort into a more original approach/greeting. There's often very little return on the investment. It's a numbers game; any woman who doesn't appear to be a bot or spammer is going to be overwhelmed with messages.

Sadly, you're probably right.

 

[john7771]

Really?

 

[Erochic]

I just found this very interesting "How To" article on the literotica main site
http://www.literotica.com/s/guys-guide-to-casual-encounters

You want to get casual sex from craigslist - here a woman tells you how.

 

[Erochic]

Interesting that the Craigslisting Litsters haven't chimed in with how they score their CL flings.

It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

[GrimWraith]

Have you ever thought about becoming a Mormon?

No seriously you should talk to your wife about how you feel or even adding a third person. The drama you get while cheating isn't worth it. If its that bad then divorce or seek marriage counciling.

 

[Noor]

I've tried Ashley Madison and Craigslist, but no takers. I NEED to meet a discrete woman who, like me, is trapped in a loveless, sexless marriage that she can't leave. How/where do you meet a such a woman? Any advice will be appreciated.

Most women who are in loveless, sexless marriages leave them.
What is holding you there?

 

[Noor]

Time to bring out Noor's advice for married men contemplating affairs.

It's directed at office workers but much of it still holds.

 

[wife40uk]

Need to

You need to capture the imagination of the woman

 

[Hosebloke]

So very true

 

[Gerry_111]

It takes time and effort. You need to engage in a conversation and find about her as a person at the same time telling her about yourself. You should be happy to end up with a friend, if you become lovers consider it as a great success. Over time I made many friends but few lovers. Lit AM or others are good places to start. You will learn about yourself as much as about the women during this process . It is not a fast food restaurant. Be patient and nice.

 

[Eilan]

It takes time and effort. You need to engage in a conversation and find about her as a person at the same time telling her about yourself. You should be happy to end up with a friend, if you become lovers consider it as a great success. Over time I made many friends but few lovers. Lit AM or others are good places to start. You will learn about yourself as much as about the women during this process . It is not a fast food restaurant. Be patient and nice.

This is key. Seriously, go beyond the "Hey, how are you?" response, and for the love of all that is holy, DON'T wave your dick around!

 

[Blase]

But I also understand why some men don't want to put the effort into a more original approach/greeting. There's often very little return on the investment. It's a numbers game; any woman who doesn't appear to be a bot or spammer is going to be overwhelmed with messages.

Actually, Eilan, that's a reason for guys to step it up; not to get careless.

Saying "It's a numbers game" only tells part of the story. Sure, women get inundated with messages - many of which are crass, vulgar, poorly written, copied and pasted, sent without reading the recipient's profile, or just plain forgettable. Among other things.

It's a crowd, alright, but it's not always as difficult to stand out from that crowd as one might think.

Take the time to read someone's profile and at least a few of their posts to see if your interests, styles and viewpoints seem to match up. Address something in your message that you've seen them actually talking about. Oh, and do always remember to be polite.

Yes, your message may still get lost in the shuffle... But it's surprising how much difference it can make if you simply learn not to eliminate yourself right off the bat.

(I'm using you in the abstract, of course. I realize you're female.)

[Edited to say that this is perhaps a bit redundant, given the comments made immediately above.]

 

[sheddoctor]

Ask youself first is your relationship as bad as you say. I have a wife and am in a very loving
relationship, it is however sexless and has been for some time. I am lucky it could be said, as my
lover is also in a similar relatioship. The guilt is the thing that is hard to live with, as the euphoria
of the sex is by comparison short lived. I did try first of talking to my wife about our boring, sex
life but she was happy withe way things are, maybe like me you will get lucky and an adventurous
woman will come to you and take you!,,,,,,,,

 

[littlecordelera]

I've tried Ashley Madison and Craigslist, but no takers. I NEED to meet a discrete woman who, like me, is trapped in a loveless, sexless marriage that she can't leave. How/where do you meet a such a woman? Any advice will be appreciated.

I used Ashley Madison years ago and several of the guys I met complained about how difficult it was to get a response. So let me tell you what I told them.

When I first signed up, I got like 80-something responses the first day. The next day was not too different and finally, over the course or about a week, it settled to stay at about 30 messages a day. Imagine how much work that is. Consequently, you need an approach that stands out. 99% of the messages I got were guys just tossing out a message to see who would bite. Find a woman who you feel has a particular appeal, and approach her and tell her why she appeals to you.

You would be surprised how many women (and men) are on AM with their spouses knowledge. Having spent time on there and much more time in the swinger community, it is because the swinger community is mostly about couples. AM is one of the few sites where a married person can date as a "single."

If I can be of further assistance, feel free to send me a PM.

 

[Eilan]

Protip: Guys, it's a terrible idea to accuse a woman of being a fake in your first message. Some poor bastage on OKCupid just got a smackdown, Eilan-style.

 

[BonaFideBlonde]

The original poster just disappeared after asking his question and ignored all this good advice. I don't think he really wants to know how to have an affair.

 

[Eilan]

The original poster just disappeared after asking his question and ignored all this good advice. I don't think he really wants to know how to have an affair.

He just doesn't want to work for it.

 

[Bigspurt]

Paid For It

I dunno. I just can't get on board with paying a woman for something she supposedly enjoys as much as I do. And if she isn't enjoying it, that's a turn off for me too. For me, the seduction is a big part of sex. I guess I just like the chase!

I have but only about 7 times and three were great 3 were so so and one was awful.

I have been seeing another woman for about 12 years now but we don't get together very often.

When we do we have a good time. Got to call her.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Protip: Guys, it's a terrible idea to accuse a woman of being a fake in your first message. Some poor bastage on OKCupid just got a smackdown, Eilan-style.

I'm surprised you didn't use the word 'literally'.