how to know if you're bisexual or not?
- Thread starter marielle
- Start date
Noor
Citizen of the World
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Posts
- 33,310
marielle said:hey,
was wondering what your thoughts were on this...i have a <cough cough> friend, 20/f with a bf of 3 yrs, who is not sure...hmm...what should i tell <cough> her?
That unless she is sure this is the one for the next 50yrs, she should shouldn't get tied down at 17!!!! She should go out and experiment.
I don't really believe in these labels, I believe that sex is an extended form of communication and it is person specific not gender specific.
Being identified as "bi" can be a bit difficult, there is much more support for being straight or gay.
If your *cough* friend thinks she may be bi I would say check it out. Do you know any other girls who are or may feel the same way? If so, get together but without ANY expectations. I never would have thought of myself as BI. Geez I always said "THere's not enough drugs, alcohol or rope to make me be with a girl" And now I"ve done and will do it again. lol. You'll ummm SHE'LL never know till she tries.
bayou_boy
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2002
- Posts
- 127
R U Bi?
you never know till you try. my suggestion is this, you should try first, without telling your bf. if you like it enough to do it again but not enough to give up men, you are probably bi. if that is the case, talk to your boyfriend, it might be something you can share togeter with a willing female partner. my wife and i are both bi but love each other very much. we, er, play regularly with another (both) bi couple. its enough for us to tickle our sexual itch and we do it together so there is no jealousy or "going behind the other's back."
I say do it first without telling your man because if you hate it, you don't want to potentially hurt your partner by telling him you did something that you will never do again anyway.
good luck and remember to always be true to yourself!
you never know till you try. my suggestion is this, you should try first, without telling your bf. if you like it enough to do it again but not enough to give up men, you are probably bi. if that is the case, talk to your boyfriend, it might be something you can share togeter with a willing female partner. my wife and i are both bi but love each other very much. we, er, play regularly with another (both) bi couple. its enough for us to tickle our sexual itch and we do it together so there is no jealousy or "going behind the other's back."
I say do it first without telling your man because if you hate it, you don't want to potentially hurt your partner by telling him you did something that you will never do again anyway.
good luck and remember to always be true to yourself!
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2004
- Posts
- 13,442
Re: R U Bi?
I would not suggest not telling him. There are a lot of people who would be very hurt and consider that cheating. I know far too many women who are miserable living with their secret curiosity or desire for women.
Tell your bf about your curiosity and desire to experiment. I would suggest you experiment alone and then decide if (a) you want to do it again and (b) you want to involve him (which brings a whole new set of questions and potential problems). I am blessed to have an incredibly supportive spouse, but I still felt some guilt over not finding out before we got married. At any rate, you need to find out before you go any further with your current relationship.
As for knowing for sure, loving it is a good standard. I was positive when I knew I wanted to do it again and again completely sober.
Good luck and have fun...women are wonderful!
bayou_boy said:you never know till you try. my suggestion is this, you should try first, without telling your bf. if you like it enough to do it again but not enough to give up men, you are probably bi. if that is the case, talk to your boyfriend, it might be something you can share togeter with a willing female partner. my wife and i are both bi but love each other very much. we, er, play regularly with another (both) bi couple. its enough for us to tickle our sexual itch and we do it together so there is no jealousy or "going behind the other's back."
I say do it first without telling your man because if you hate it, you don't want to potentially hurt your partner by telling him you did something that you will never do again anyway.
good luck and remember to always be true to yourself!
I would not suggest not telling him. There are a lot of people who would be very hurt and consider that cheating. I know far too many women who are miserable living with their secret curiosity or desire for women.
Tell your bf about your curiosity and desire to experiment. I would suggest you experiment alone and then decide if (a) you want to do it again and (b) you want to involve him (which brings a whole new set of questions and potential problems). I am blessed to have an incredibly supportive spouse, but I still felt some guilt over not finding out before we got married. At any rate, you need to find out before you go any further with your current relationship.
As for knowing for sure, loving it is a good standard. I was positive when I knew I wanted to do it again and again completely sober.
Good luck and have fun...women are wonderful!
gbd
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2001
- Posts
- 395
I agree ...
... with Tempwife. What is with the labels. Ground rules with me are:
1- Are you male or
2- Are you female.
Sex is supposed to be fun. Now on my game board you cannot be a minor, no animals, no scat, not too much pain. Pretty Vanilla.
Any guilt you might have probably came from listening to your own peers or parental upbringing.
You are young, explore away and have a blast!!
... with Tempwife. What is with the labels. Ground rules with me are:
1- Are you male or
2- Are you female.
Sex is supposed to be fun. Now on my game board you cannot be a minor, no animals, no scat, not too much pain. Pretty Vanilla.
Any guilt you might have probably came from listening to your own peers or parental upbringing.
You are young, explore away and have a blast!!
sweetnpetite
Intellectual snob
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2003
- Posts
- 9,135
That rather than dump the boyfriend she should offer to let him watch her 'play' with another woman. Most guys really go for this. If it's not your thing, no harm no foul. (except explaining to the b/f that *no* you won't do it again!)
Err, this is if you want to explore the *sexual* nature of lesbianism, not the relationship nature. That would be like, whole different advice.
Plus, in the first case, even if you dump him, you've helped him fulfil a major male fantasy.
Err, this is if you want to explore the *sexual* nature of lesbianism, not the relationship nature. That would be like, whole different advice.
Plus, in the first case, even if you dump him, you've helped him fulfil a major male fantasy.
Vixandra
Everything well in hand!
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2003
- Posts
- 6,512
You know, your friend could always come out with it and just talk with her b/f.
Might find out that he would love to see her with another girl or more and never said so cause he didn't want to creep her out.
I can sypathise- hubby and I had that conversation and the outcome was that I could find a female to scene/play/whatever with once I'm done being Uncle Sam's little toy (military).
Have her talk to him- might create some of the most erotic memories either of you have ever had together.
Might find out that he would love to see her with another girl or more and never said so cause he didn't want to creep her out.
I can sypathise- hubby and I had that conversation and the outcome was that I could find a female to scene/play/whatever with once I'm done being Uncle Sam's little toy (military).
Have her talk to him- might create some of the most erotic memories either of you have ever had together.
Similar threads
