How to.. lose virginity?

[Apollo96]

Hey,
28yo m in Hampshire, UK looking to get rid of his v card but no idea how
Any conversations with women don't get to that stage and online dating sucks.

Anyone fancy sexy chat/tips?

 

[Pabiporffor]

Not taking a photo with a pile of toilet paper in the background might be a good start.

 

[YourSecretDesires]

Hey,
28yo m in Hampshire, UK looking to loose his v card but no idea how.
Any conversations with women don't get to that stage and online dating sucks.

Anyone fancy sexy chat/tips

Have you thought of just getting an escort? Losing the V card is overrated.

Otherwise, it's a matter of seduction.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Stay in school and learn the difference between lose and loose first? Smart is sexy!

 

[Apollo96]

Stay in school and learn the difference between lose and loose first? Smart is sexy!

I'm a bit beyond school now but noted! Haha

Have you thought of just getting an escort? Losing the V card is overrated.

Otherwise, it's a matter of seduction.

I have thought about getting one.. but part of me would like to think I man enough to loose it naturally and wouldn't need to pay for it...

 

[YourSecretDesires]

I'm a bit beyond school now but noted! Haha


I have.. but of me would like to think I would need to pay for it...

Sorry what?

 

[Apollo96]

Sorry what?

Boy needs more coffee am terrible with stringing a sentence together this morning! My bad

 

[YourSecretDesires]

Boy needs more coffee am terrible with stringing a sentence together this morning! My bad

Well if you don't want to pay that's understandable.

You will just have to be patient and not focus on it. The first step is meeting women. Gain their trust, so they feel comfortable around you. Ask them out. Enjoy their company. Make a move. There are seduction and dating forums dedicated to this if you're shy or inexperienced.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I'm a bit beyond school now but noted! Haha

Noted, and yet…

I have thought about getting one.. but part of me would like to think I man enough to loose it naturally and wouldn't need to pay for it...

I tried.

Not to be a grammar snob, but this isn’t PornHub or FetLife, this is Literotica. People tend to be more well-read here and have higher expectations. Plus, if you’re a straight man, you’re part of an estimated 10:1 ratio of guys competing for the attentions of straight/bi women.

 

[Apollo96]

Well if you don't want to pay that's understandable.

You will just have to be patient and not focus on it. The first step is meeting women. Gain their trust, so they feel comfortable around you. Ask them out. Enjoy their company. Make a move. There are seduction and dating forums dedicated to this if you're shy or inexperienced.

Thank you for your support

Noted, and yet…


I tried.

Oh for FFS -.- I give up I sorry bahaha

 

[TheOtherTeacher]

I was in a similar place to you. I spent my teenage /young adult years in a religious group. By the time I was out of it and wanted to meet women, I wasn't having any luck.

It was like they could tell I was still a virgin, and it put them off. I didn't know how to talk to them yet. I wasn't confident, and they were picking up on it.

In the end, I found an escort service. I went to the next town over (I was embarrassed) and met an escort I found online.

I'm not proud of it, and nobody in real life knows about it. BUT it took my V-card and it showed me how to treat a woman. (She even gave me tips)

And pretty soon after I met a girl I didn't need to pay! Never paid again after.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

Once you lose it, you can't get it back!
Also, while having sex is a thing, having had sex once isn't.
I suggest trying a gay bar.

 

[cdstefi]

Like you I was a late starter (27 to be exact, so my sexual life started where a lot of celebrities' ended tragically)

I can't give any specific tips that are sure fire other than don't appear needy, don't be a misogynist wanker (trust me, no woman wants an Andrew Tate in her life).

I lost mine to my first wife (yep, fucked and married) but it was a long friendship before it happened. We used to play music, she sang and I accompanied on guitar, and hang out as friends together with a shared love of that. She was getting tired of her then-boyfriend's unwillingness to commit to anything, and one evening it just happened. We'd played a particularly good set at a club, were feeling very positive and bouncy, and she kissed me then took me to bed where I made some awkward rookie quips but it happened and we became a couple straight away. I won her by being me and while I did fancy the arse off her I'd accidentally been reticent and hard-to-get for so long it was all her decision..

The main thing if you want an actual relationship is to be respectful, kind, funny and interesting in your own right (women don't want a partner who just gloms onto them for validation, they want to be with somebody who has a life). Have a hobby or a passion.

Be nice - nice guys do get the girl and sex despite what the fucking manosphere PUAs tell you to exploit your insecurities. You can have a bit of the bad boy in you, but manifest it as cheekiness, naughtiness, good humoured and not nasty.

Do not believe anyone's out of your league or that you're out of theirs. The hottest women are often with men who aren't the most conventionally attractive but have other assets, the most vital being confidence and a good sense of who you are. Likewise, some plain looking women are absolute sex goddesses and you're a lucky man to find one like that.

If you just want a hookup without commitment, well good luck and I haven't a clue how you get that other than preying on insecure or drunk women, or having a very good slut radar for self-assured confident women who do just want that (I never developed this until much later in life!) I'd strongly recommend resisting the urge to predate though, it'll land you in more trouble in the end.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

Like you I was a late starter (27 to be exact, so my sexual life started where a lot of celebrities' ended tragically)

I can't give any specific tips that are sure fire other than don't appear needy, don't be a misogynist wanker (trust me, no woman wants an Andrew Tate in her life).

I lost mine to my first wife (yep, fucked and married) but it was a long friendship before it happened. We used to play music, she sang and I accompanied on guitar, and hang out as friends together with a shared love of that. She was getting tired of her then-boyfriend's unwillingness to commit to anything, and one evening it just happened. We'd played a particularly good set at a club, were feeling very positive and bouncy, and she kissed me then took me to bed where I made some awkward rookie quips but it happened and we became a couple straight away. I won her by being me and while I did fancy the arse off her I'd accidentally been reticent and hard-to-get for so long it was all her decision..

The main thing if you want an actual relationship is to be respectful, kind, funny and interesting in your own right (women don't want a partner who just gloms onto them for validation, they want to be with somebody who has a life). Have a hobby or a passion.

Be nice - nice guys do get the girl and sex despite what the fucking manosphere PUAs tell you to exploit your insecurities. You can have a bit of the bad boy in you, but manifest it as cheekiness, naughtiness, good humoured and not nasty.

Do not believe anyone's out of your league or that you're out of theirs. The hottest women are often with men who aren't the most conventionally attractive but have other assets, the most vital being confidence and a good sense of who you are. Likewise, some plain looking women are absolute sex goddesses and you're a lucky man to find one like that.

If you just want a hookup without commitment, well good luck and I haven't a clue how you get that other than preying on insecure or drunk women, or having a very good slut radar for self-assured confident women who do just want that (I never developed this until much later in life!) I'd strongly recommend resisting the urge to predate though, it'll land you in more trouble in the end.

You could start a Jedi order or something. You know?

 

[cdstefi]

You could start a Jedi order or something. You know?

Just sharing my 62 years' worth, bud

 

[VerbalAbuse]

Just sharing my 62 years' worth, bud

well, I need some serious life advice. guess I know who to ask now.

 

[cdstefi]

well, I need some serious life advice. guess I know who to ask now.

I feel like I'm having the piss taken but you're welcome

 

[cdstefi]

Oh that feels evil.

Yeah, wasn't a serious suggestion. Plenty do it though.

 

[Apollo96]

Thank you all for your comments and suggestion, I appreciate it greatly!

Time will tell what will happen... I've given myself just over a year (till my 30th in 2026) then if nothing has changed.. I'll start looking at paying for measures.... either that or go live a soloist life with the Monks on the mountains haha

 

[cdstefi]

Thank you all for your comments and suggestion, I appreciate it greatly!

Time will tell what will happen... I've given myself just over a year (till my 30th in 2026) then if nothing has changed.. I'll start looking at paying for measures.... either that or go live a soloist life with the Monks on the mountains haha

What is it you think holds you back? Shyness, lack of bravado, not finding someone you fancy enough? I know I used to be terrible at asking girls out, although it was easy enough being mates with them.

Got knocked back a couple of times early on and that hit my confidence, but I didn't have much about me when I was that young and was quite introverted. I'm not exactly the life and soul of the party now, but I do know that women like you to show your interest, it's flattering if done nicely, and if they're decent will let you down gently if you're not for them.

 

[Apollo96]

What is it you think holds you back? Shyness, lack of bravado, not finding someone you fancy enough? I know I used to be terrible at asking girls out, although it was easy enough being mates with them.

Got knocked back a couple of times early on and that hit my confidence, but I didn't have much about me when I was that young and was quite introverted. I'm not exactly the life and soul of the party now, but I do know that women like you to show your interest, it's flattering if done nicely, and if they're decent will let you down gently if you're not for them.

A mixture of things really - we lived outside of town during school and never got to socialize with people outside of school- had to be home to cook dinner for when parents were in and have dog walked. Then at Uni, was caught up on one girl for 3 years and since then.. was just never 'out out' and became a workaholic in a remote job so got used to being on my own. Have been in therapy for a while combating depression, social phobias, anxiety and addiction - not drink, drugs or gambling, was actually Onlyfans and I started living virtual fantasy relationships

so coming back to reality has been.... an adjustment.. but confidence to talk to women is definitely an issue, and then to not instantly thinking about sex or sexual talkings - as that was 99% of all I talked about to women in OF. My view of what i wanted in a woman was tainted too, even using dating apps i was looking for petite unrealistic models and was discarding any profiles of people i didn't think were pretty or thin enough. BAD I KNOW, brief time on here is teaching about alsorts of body types are beautiful and sexy.

Is deffo a journey, but we'll get there... eventually haha

 

[cdstefi]

Yes, you definitely need to wean yourself off of the social media and OF view, it's unrealistic and sets daft expectations.

I really would suggest, if you're thinking possible relationships, making a nice interesting looking profile on a dating site (not Tinder, a more old school one where you need to message people rather than just swiping), try messaging a few people in a non-pushy way and see if you can get real life dates. Don't expect first-date sex; it can happen if both are instantly attracted but the expectation of it from a guy is a real red flag to most women. Get to know somebody and see where it goes. You'll get knockbacks of course but be polite and friendly and accept them and move on.

I dated loads between marriages and probably went out with 15-20 women on first dates, second-dated half a dozen or so and got laid on second dates with all of them. Not because I'm some Adonis or player, I'm not by any means, but because women like sex and they like it with a guy they feel they can trust. They didn't turn into long relationships because that's a different thing, but they were all nice people and I liked knowing them.

 

[cdstefi]

A mixture of things really - we lived outside of town during school and never got to socialize with people outside of school- had to be home to cook dinner for when parents were in and have dog walked. Then at Uni, was caught up on one girl for 3 years and since then.. was just never 'out out' and became a workaholic in a remote job so got used to being on my own. Have been in therapy for a while combating depression, social phobias, anxiety and addiction - not drink, drugs or gambling, was actually Onlyfans and I started living virtual fantasy relationships

so coming back to reality has been.... an adjustment.. but confidence to talk to women is definitely an issue, and then to not instantly thinking about sex or sexual talkings - as that was 99% of all I talked about to women in OF. My view of what i wanted in a woman was tainted too, even using dating apps i was looking for petite unrealistic models and was discarding any profiles of people i didn't think were pretty or thin enough. BAD I KNOW, brief time on here is teaching about alsorts of body types are beautiful and sexy.

Is deffo a journey, but we'll get there... eventually haha

Also, the way you're able to write and articulate your thoughts is a good sign. It suggests to me that you'd be more than capable of holding a conversation, and women like that too. Most don't want a caveman

 

[Apollo96]

able to write and articulate your thoughts

i'm great at text talk, is in person talk that i struggle with haha

dating site

i have tried many different apps, unfortunately they became part of the issue. I had 8 different ones on the go from Tinder, Bumble, Badoo, Plenty of Fish, Boo, Hinge, Local radio status dating, Facebook dating.... alsorts and i found myself getting annoyed at either the no likes or the ones where i got likes but i never matched with them thus spending for the premuims to see the profiles that had liked or viewed me, for me to deicide i didn't like the look of them; vicious cycle I was caught in.
so dating apps are off table for now but possible in future, we'll see

 

[KatieDoes]

Hey,
28yo m in Hampshire, UK looking to get rid of his v card but no idea how
Any conversations with women don't get to that stage and online dating sucks.

Anyone fancy sexy chat/tips?

Are you looking for a relationship with a woman who you like as a person to be your partner? Or are you looking for a dick receptacle? Those are different things and require different approaches.