How to match with your partners

[thirty]

I'm talking about the time of sex.
I realized that it was not "the longer, the better" even for women.
Sometimes, I don't want to cum too early, but in the middle of it, I may feel my partner is getting "dry", then I have to hurry up, but I can't cum before it's too dry.

 

[M's girl]

PartnerS ?

What can I say? Communication (in- and outside the bedroom) and listen to (her) body language are the keys. Also, not every sex encounter, even with the same partner, is the same. I don't react to M / sex the same all the time. No one does. Tune in and stay focussed on what you are both doing and how it effects you and her... that's all

 

[sunandshadow]

Add a squirt of lube?

 

[thirty]

PartnerS ?

"Your partners", by "your", I meant not only one person.

Also, I used to have more than one partner, big deal?

 

[thirty]

Add a squirt of lube?

Probably it sounds weird, but it's very hard for our Chinese to get down to this.

 

[M's girl]

"Your partners", by "your", I meant not only one person.

Also, I used to have more than one partner, big deal?

Big deal? I guess not. Just sounds like a lot to handle, especially when you have trouble getting it right with one, let alone more partners moist-wise

 

[LadyJeanne]

I'm talking about the time of sex.
I realized that it was not "the longer, the better" even for women.
Sometimes, I don't want to cum too early, but in the middle of it, I may feel my partner is getting "dry", then I have to hurry up, but I can't cum before it's too dry.

When women talk about wanting their partners to last and endurance, they typically are not referring to steady fucking the whole time. They mean a partner who will make a sex session last for a long time, rather than fuck fuck fuck until he comes and then rolls over to go to sleep. We mean, kiss her, lick her, fuck her, then stop fucking and go back to touching and licking nipples and fingering pussy, and then maybe fuck a little more, and then maybe she can go down on you for a while and so on, until you're ready to come.

So you're totally right about 'the longer, the better' not being what women want in terms of actual PIV fucking time.

If she's getting dry, and you don't want to use lube, I'd recommend mixing it up a little. When she gets dry, stop fucking her and go down on her for more oral sex. Not only will you get her more wet that way, you also make the sex session last longer, possibly giver her an orgasm via oral, and prevent her pussy from getting sore with too much thrusting without lubrication.

Another thing to try is to stimulate her clit while you are fucking. The added stimulation may help make her wetter. Use your fingers, her fingers, or a small vibe that can fit between the two of you.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Probably it sounds weird, but it's very hard for our Chinese to get down to this.

I'm curious as to why it is that way in your culture.

In the US, we love our lube! It just makes everything so much more fun when it's all slippery. I especially like it for handjobs and clit stimulation. Seriously, it's goooood. There is no taboo about using it; most men already have lube on hand for masturbation. And anyone that uses condoms knows how much easier it is when everything is slippery.

 

[Chicklet]

Add a squirt of lube?

A lot of times I'll still be excited and wanting sex, but my body will start to dry up. A little bit of lube can go a long way, I have to say.

 

[thirty]

I'm curious as to why it is that way in your culture.

In the US, we love our lube! It just makes everything so much more fun when it's all slippery. I especially like it for handjobs and clit stimulation. Seriously, it's goooood. There is no taboo about using it; most men already have lube on hand for masturbation. And anyone that uses condoms knows how much easier it is when everything is slippery.

Unconsciously, Chinese may think that the tools for sex are dirty.
I'm a quite open guy, another problem for me is that we have less availability of lube in China. We have to go special adult shop to buy it.
Actually ,I have been thinking about the lube things for a while, I just can't find the gut to buy it. It's unbelievable, right?

 

[LadyJeanne]

Unconsciously, Chinese may think that the tools for sex are dirty.
I'm a quite open guy, another problem for me is that we have less availability of lube in China. We have to go special adult shop to buy it.
Actually ,I have been thinking about the lube things for a while, I just can't find the gut to buy it. It's unbelievable, right?

Maybe it's one of those things that if you can conquer your hesitations and buy it the first time, you won't think it's such a big deal.

The other option is K-Y jelly. I don't know if you have that in China, but it's commonly used in gynocologists offices during pelvic exams, as well as for pediatrics (slipping a rectal thermometer to check temperature) and other medical procedures. So it's not solely for sex, but for medical purposes, if that makes it feel less taboo? In the US, it's sold in drugstores near the tampons and near the condoms.

 

[kaledonia]

a different lube

Instead of using the stuff available in sex shops (and incidentally, easily bought online) try using pure aloe vera gel, which is easy to source here in health food shops, and hopefully also in china. it doesnt have to be a specially designed aid, but you do have to be careful what goes into a vagina! how do you think thousands of years of human encounters were lubricated before 'astroglide' and other products were available? ps there isnt a shop selling such stuff within a hundred miles of me, but I notice the local Tescos (uk supermarket chain) are starting to sell lubes and clit stimulators.