How To Remove Bollocks From a Coffee Mill

[neonlyte]

It's a question rather than a statement since the situation will arise sometime in the next forty-eight hours.

We had this small decoration job. After completing most of the first floor building work, we wanted to re-paint the stairwell and re-seal the natural timber staircase. We found a builder who arrived with an assistant who took detailed and copius notes of our requirements... in particular that the staircase timber was to be lightly rubbed down and sealed with a water based matt finished sealant.

We went away for 48 hours so they could do the job undisturbed.

We have a nice shiny varnished staircase with the varnish sealing in all the spills and spots of paint from painting the stairwell.

He hasn't been paid, so he has to come for his money... which is when his balls end up in the coffee grinder.

Any hints on how to remove testicular residues before the next time I need to grind coffee will be appreciated.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Thank you, no.

Make sure you use a burr free grinder. The good ones are a bit pricey, but things will get rid of everything. I suggest before making a pot of your favorite brew to grind a heaping tablespoon full of Starbucks French roast coffee. That's the strongest brew that you can buy without traveling to Columbia.

The French roast has a natural oil to it that will remove any bitter taste of acrimony, should he give you some lip for not paying him. Plus, it will definitely remove any bloody residue from his ball sack, as well.

Now, if you have a regular Braun grinder, you can wipe out whatever contents remains of him with the brush tool that they give you with the grinder. Only, I'd wash both the brush and the grinder containeer out with soapy water afterwards.

If by chance you own a Kitchenmaid coffeemaker with the grinder built-in, you're not as fucked as you think you are. As soon as you're done grinding his balls, run a full coffee pot of white vinegar through it to make sure your pot is clean.

Uhm, by the way, thank you for the invitation, but I don't think I can make it over for coffee. Matter of fact, whenever I visit your home, I'll bring my own coffee, thank you very much.

 

[DesertPirate]

Well deserved but have you considered using a large hammer instead?
Much easier to clean

 

[OzoneRed]

Actually, a little bit of testosterone might add a little pick-me-up to your morning cup of coffee.