I’m Laying Down the Gauntlet - Your Dumbest Poems Based on Terrible Ideas

[nudeblaqgirl]

I think i'm winning here. Three absolute dogshit poems in a row, nobody else is even close.

LOCK IN, PEOPLE!!!

 

[woodsman44]

i was a [pretty terrible] diver in college...this was for my coach so i could leave practice early for a local poetry slam

Diving

Climb the steps
Can’t look down
Careful, don’t slip
There are people around.

Stand up straight
Picture yourself
About to jump
And way beyond help.

Five steps
Start with your left
Shut the noise out
To all you are deaf.

Step--pace yourself;
Step--don’t forget;
Step--eyes forward;
Step--no regrets.

Hurdle--last chance--
Too late now
You’ve jumped off
You’re headed down.

Knees straight
Toes pointed too
Lean back
Look for blue.

Wait, no water?
You stupid fool
You cannot dive
Into an empty pool.

 

[woodsman44]

make a decision
one that matters.
but wait-
don’t think about the matter
because it doesn’t now
even though then it mattered.

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

Two pence fourpenxe sixpence a dollar
Still usin' pennies? Then u aint a baller
Suck and bite black diamond nipples
No more nickels of wood or nickel

Soon they're coming after dimes
At least that one's an easy rhyne
Lick my pussy gird my loins
Fuck me, we've run out of coins

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

Don't bring a knife to a gun fight
Don't bring your weewee to a cockfight
Size Queens rule the house tonight
If you're packin' don't pack light

 

[SmilingLez]

This was going to be the first stanza for my free verse about processed food. Needless to say I never finished it.


Time waits
while you empty yourself
of what you chose to eat,
what you swallowed,
what you let harden inside.

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

This was going to be the first stanza for my free verse about processed food. Needless to say I never finished it.


Time waits
while you empty yourself
of what you chose to eat,
what you swallowed,
what you let harden inside.

Brilliant

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

Sex is what she's built for
Careful, you'll get MILF'd, or,
Cougar scratched and clawed
Her nails write stories on your bod

Older women light his fire
How much older? I'm no liar
Four score, and then some, years I think
Fall within his elder kink

Our cougar, how young will she go
Pretty goddam young, although
To stay within the rules, I'd say
18+ is where she plays

Why oh why do I write this
Some verse hits, this one's a miss
Maturity is just a number
Young guys really bring the lumber

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

I am so good at
Piss poor poetry, laid down
But which style to use?
Might as well go with Tanka
When there's nothing much to say