I’m Laying Down the Gauntlet - Your Dumbest Poems Based on Terrible Ideas

[nudeblaqgirl]

I think i'm winning here. Three absolute dogshit poems in a row, nobody else is even close.

LOCK IN, PEOPLE!!!

 

[woodsman44]

i was a [pretty terrible] diver in college...this was for my coach so i could leave practice early for a local poetry slam

Diving

Climb the steps
Can’t look down
Careful, don’t slip
There are people around.

Stand up straight
Picture yourself
About to jump
And way beyond help.

Five steps
Start with your left
Shut the noise out
To all you are deaf.

Step--pace yourself;
Step--don’t forget;
Step--eyes forward;
Step--no regrets.

Hurdle--last chance--
Too late now
You’ve jumped off
You’re headed down.

Knees straight
Toes pointed too
Lean back
Look for blue.

Wait, no water?
You stupid fool
You cannot dive
Into an empty pool.

 

[woodsman44]

make a decision
one that matters.
but wait-
don’t think about the matter
because it doesn’t now
even though then it mattered.

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

Two pence fourpenxe sixpence a dollar
Still usin' pennies? Then u aint a baller
Suck and bite black diamond nipples
No more nickels of wood or nickel

Soon they're coming after dimes
At least that one's an easy rhyne
Lick my pussy gird my loins
Fuck me, we've run out of coins

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

Don't bring a knife to a gun fight
Don't bring your weewee to a cockfight
Size Queens rule the house tonight
If you're packin' don't pack light

 

[SmilingLez]

This was going to be the first stanza for my free verse about processed food. Needless to say I never finished it.


Time waits
while you empty yourself
of what you chose to eat,
what you swallowed,
what you let harden inside.

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

This was going to be the first stanza for my free verse about processed food. Needless to say I never finished it.


Time waits
while you empty yourself
of what you chose to eat,
what you swallowed,
what you let harden inside.

Brilliant

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

Sex is what she's built for
Careful, you'll get MILF'd, or,
Cougar scratched and clawed
Her nails write stories on your bod

Older women light his fire
How much older? I'm no liar
Four score, and then some, years I think
Fall within his elder kink

Our cougar, how young will she go
Pretty goddam young, although
To stay within the rules, I'd say
18+ is where she plays

Why oh why do I write this
Some verse hits, this one's a miss
Maturity is just a number
Young guys really bring the lumber

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

I am so good at
Piss poor poetry, laid down
But which style to use?
Might as well go with Tanka
When there's nothing much to say

 

[latent_heat]

I already wrote one (and even foolishly published it!) It is a lurid description of a consensually nonconsensual gang bang in the style of a nursery rhyme. Each verse gains another line, and ends with all eight gentlemen inseminating the lass. Does this count as a terrible idea? Probably. A dumb poem? Certainly!

(It's fun to recite, though some of the rhythms are tricky. If only I could work up the gumption to post a recording of myself reading it...)

Eight wealthy gentlemen standing 'round a slut.

One steps up and slaps her butt.

Two get the shackles out, and tie her to a chair,
Her wrists are held down tightly while her ass in in the air.

Three fill up her gaping holes; that bitch is now airtight
She squirms and gags and quakes and shags,
and puts up such a fight.

Four leering gentlemen record the scene on phones.
Their buddies need the evidence: both visual and moans.
No one would believe them, without the vids or pix,
So when they gangbanged Vicky, they all showed off their big dicks.

Five dirty gentlemen opt to nail the lass.
They all know what vagina's like, and want to sample ass.
They lube her up aplenty and knock on her back door,
Each takes a turn to fuck her butt, and rut but not quite nut,
They use her tight pink rosebud, and treat her like a whore.

Six horny gentlemen standing in a file.
They watch the first as he assaults her pussy doggy-style.
He inserts his turgid pecker, and asserts his right to breed,
Then he squirts her fertile tunnel and cervix white with seed.
Vicky squeals in mock protest as the shaft within her throbs.
She knows too well the contents of those gooey inner blobs.

Seven nasty gentleman awaiting sloppy seconds.
They all observe in envy until the man before them beckons.
'It's safe for us, but not for her,' every one of them soon reckons,
Not seeming to be worried 'bout the possible infections.
They're aware that she's fertile, from hearing her beg.
This point in her cycle is releasing an egg!
Safe she is not, from their plentiful erections.

Eight filthy gentlemen finish in her cunt.
Whether buried in her dirty rear, or on her tongue in front,
When it comes time their potent slime to throbbingly deliver,
They all plunge deep in her sweet poon and joyfully they quiver.
And with each load of potent jizz, accumulating deep,
She feels her cooter overflow, and sticky semen seep.
She knows it's in her fertile womb, and though it wasn't said,
Everyone who came in her could tell that she was bred.

 

[calmlikeabomb]

She rides like a jockey,
Amazing at giving head,
Left me panting and drained,
Made a mess of my bed.

I was drowning in her,
Hoping we would be wed,
And on our wedding night,
She be cuffed and legs spread.

Luckily I escaped just in time,
Intact dignity and sanity, I fled,
Showed me her true colours,
I'll curse her from my deathbed.

Can't believe I was violated,
No more tears I will shed,
"Dumbledore beats Gandalf. Duh!"
The Satan spawn had said.

 

[Hotcoffee123]

KISS ME

Staring at your lips, it’s all I can do to prevent myself from kissing you

I’m a little bit closer you start to blush

You move your hand to make sure we touch

I dare to glance

Look into those eyes and take a chance

Your hand on my forearm, I lean in

Our lips are touching

Once again.

We both smile shyly

This must be a sign

That I am yours, and you are mine

I say hello you say hello

I kiss your lips you grabbed my hips

I rip off your shirt you hike up my skirt

Our eyes meet again

Ecstasy, and delicious sin

 

[Ash999]

Lightning flashes across the sky...
She bends over:
Skirts fly high!?
Panties down
Ass: cute, round , brown
His Rod Erects.....
Her Pussy:
Rod inspects......
Then squeezes Kegels
Precum outed, dribbles....
Ruined Orgasm results.....
Exhibitionist Bitch exults!!?

 

[Hotcoffee123]

Lightning flashes across the sky...
She bends over:
Skirts fly high!?
Panties down
Ass: cute, round , brown
His Rod Erects.....
Her Pussy:
Rod inspects......
Then squeezes Kegels
Precum outed, dribbles....
Ruined Orgasm results.....
Exhibitionist Bitch exults!!?

I loved this much!

 

[Ash999]

I loved this much!

Thank U

 

[calmlikeabomb]

Roses are red, violets are blue,
A hermaphrodite wants love and passion,
I don't know which hole I'm supposed to "do".

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

Free verse, i love it so
Because i don't have to rhyme...
No
I just say some stupid shit
And then don't have to rhyme
With it

Rhyming's not the point, you dig?
You should avoid rhymes and meter
You pig
Now you understand free verse
And now you're subject to its curse...yo

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

COCKMOCKERY
by nudeblaqgirl

Can you poem? It's not hard
Neither is your dick, you bard
Rock your rhyme and roll your meter
Then show off your flaccid peter

I write this verse about your cock
And yes, intent here is to mock
We're here all day, aint you seen us?
We are laughing at your penis

We could also mock your balls
So tiny, can't see them at all
Your cock it gives me double vision
Get a refund on your circumcision

Not for all the tea in china
Would i let you near my vagina
Bad poems, now that's my trick
To use in mocking your small dick