)
... wait... there's a PM function?
.
This was an actual PM I received...just one of some real doosies...
" or pretend like we didn't notice how desperate you are.
So let me just preface this with, I know most if not all of these things can be used about women also. But when I wrote this, I was heavy in the online dating scene. So I wrote my Top Ten Annoying Habits lists, with males in mind, and posted it to my online profiles on said dating sites. It helped me weed out the unwanteds. And call me a bitch or whatever you want, but I found my fiancé because of this list. So here you go.
Top Ten Annoying Online Dating Habits of Men
1.) If you send a woman a message, there are generally 3 major categories of which we won't respond to. If you just write "Hey", 9 out of 10 times we will ignore you. The ratio of men to women on these sites is usually about 2/1. Therefore, we get a lot of mail, one word isn't going to get you noticed.
2.) Secondly, the copy/paste job. These are almost funny because these men obviously believe they are really clever. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but most women worth your time can tell when you've sent a mass produced email. It goes something like, "Hello beautiful! I came across your profile and I found your profile to be very interesting and intriguing. You have beautiful eyes. If you'd like to chat sometime, hit me up!" I'm only slightly more impressed when their message reads like a mad lib, "hey gorgeous, you have beautiful ____NOUN___. I read your profile and found that you like ____VERB___. So do I!" At least they read your profile then.
3.) Third, and most ridiculous, and possibly most important, we are not fond of messages that say, "hey, nice rack" or any other vulgar compliments that outline your desire to get laid. Thanks, but no thanks.
4.) Be HONEST. Duh. For the sake of covering all the bases though, if you are on the dating scene and looking for more than a one night stand, they are going to find out eventually that you aren't a 28 year old venture capitalist, you're actually a 38 year old garbage man. Nothing wrong with that.
5.) Once you've managed to actually get a woman to talk to you, guess what? You can still screw it up. Unless she brings it up first or asks you, do not send unsolicited pictures of your junk. No matter how big you think it is, we won't be especially impressed. All it does is create an awkward moment in which we have to decide to either send you a response like, "Ooh, wow...
6.) While we are on the subject, I don't mind getting pictures of you. That's awesome. But please stop fishing for compliments. Male or female, if you choose to send pics, don't then proceed to ask 20 questions about whether or not I like it. This is that whole desperate insecurity thing we mentioned already, no one likes that smell. If you're hot, I'll tell you. If you aren't, I probably won't say anything at all and change the subject. Rude? Yeah, probably. Don't ask questions you don't want the real answer to.
7.) This one is a little more subtle, so pay attention. One of the more irritating things I see is a man (women do this too), saying something like, "So, what do you want to know about me?" or, "do you have any questions for me?" I absolutely refuse to respond to this. If I've decided to get to know you, I'd rather not do it in an interview format, and if I want to know something about you, I will ask. I don't need the added pressure of trying to think of something stupid to say. It's trite, and it should be a natural flow of conversation that allows me to get to know who you are. If you are so desperate to talk about yourself, start a blog. Write a memoir. Maybe I'll read it. Or maybe I don't care. But don't force me to pretend to give a rats ass
by telling me to ask you questions. Here's a thought, if the conversation isn't going the way you want, ask ME something about myself and I bet you I'll ask it right back. That's how it works.
8.) Do not profess your secret crush on me or tell me how much you like me before we have even met. Newsflash, till you meet me, I can be anyone I want to be, and if I only just started talking to you yesterday, you do not know me. At all. It's flattering if you think I'm funny, smart, beautiful, or sweet... But don't get ahead of yourself.
9.) Don't be a downer. This should need no more explanation but I'm going to give one anyway. I honestly do not mind sharing sob stories, we all have them and it helps to talk about it. However, if you use every opportunity presented to tell me how lonely, sad, and miserable you are in your bed all by yourself, I'm going to lose all sympathy for you. Besides the fact that talking to you depresses me, I also refuse to be the key to your happiness. If you can't be happy alone, someone else can't do it for you. At least try to be upbeat even if your life sucks.
10.) Be pro-active not passive aggressive. If you would like to go on a date, ask me. Time, place, pertinent information. Saying, "So when are we gonna go out?" shows a lack of true interest if you're not willing to actually set a date. If you want something, don't leave the details to someone else. Go out on a limb and let them know you are free such and such day at blah blah time, would you like to go to yadda yadda place with me? Being specific encourages a specific response rather than, "oh, I dunno... I'm free whenever."
Just trying to be helpful.
