I Feel as Though

[lavender]

 

[Laurel]

No, you didn't. Truly wonderful doesn't end over 10 shitty minutes.

*hugs*

 

[Siren]

 

[Guest]

But you are creative and intelligent, darlin'.
I bet you can repair the damage.
Are you ok?

 

[AfterHours]

The Doctor is in..

What happened lavender?

 

[CAROSI]

You seem very caring.....I don't see how you can ruin anything. Sorry for drooling..... I just noticed Raindancer here as well

 

[lavender]

 

[patient1]

Whoever it is should have a sense of the genuine you by this point, and believe in it.

 

[sunstruck]

I'm betting anyone who's known you for 7 months knows you well enough to know you regret whatever it is you did and give you another chance.

 

[lavender]

 

[Laurel]

You've never seen my 10 shitty minutes.

True. But I bet I could match em & then some with 10 shitty ones of my own.

Seriously. It'll be okay. No one's wonderful 100% of the time, and cool people know this. You're being hard on yourself.

 

[Cheyenne]

No, you didn't. Truly wonderful doesn't end over 10 shitty minutes.

Unfortunately, I disagree. Not everyone forgives, some people hold grudges. I've learned that first hand fairly recently.

But I hope that isn't true in this case, whatever it is that happened.

 

[Guest]

I'm not about the belittle your feelings or reasoning. But, there are few things that warrant not forgiving- in my book anyways.

What can we do to help?

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Honey, I sure as fuck hope not.

 

[KillerMuffin]

This is what happens when it gets hot. We seriously need to do something about this global warming shit.


Well, the bad news is that those ten minutes can never be undone.

The good news is that you can move on from them. Really. I know, it seems like things will never be the same again, and they won't be. Whatever had been wonderful for 7 months has changed now.

The better news, though it doesn't seem like it, is that this is a strengthening moment. If this is a relationship, and I imagine that it is, this moment will strengthen the relationship. See, there is no happily ever after. HEA only happens in romance novels and it's why we love them so much. Instead, we have people who have good days, bad days, and worse days.

Sometimes we say things that we sincerely feel, and there is simply no good way to say them. But we have to because we're human. If you have a good relationship, then it will weather this hurricane. You can build on this foundation. There's something about opening up to raw emotion and then finding a new common ground that makes everything stronger.

We're strange people, we have to do everything the hard way. Our lives and our relationships are like steel, they must be tempered by fire. Pain, hurt, and suffering are the flames that temper our character. We can use them to grow stronger, better. Or we can use them to break ourselves and others.

Right now you're feeling some of that fire. Use it.

 

[lavender]

 

[Siren]

 

[Juspar Emvan]

drunkien sympath for Lavy. Perhaps, tomorrow, whoever it was will consider 10 minutes vs. 7 months and realise that the lows just make the highs that much sweeter.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Sometimes you are so brilliant I'll pass the stud and do you.

Then die.

 

[Laurel]

I should have gone home this weekend. But, at the last minute I promised to help with something here in town. So I stayed here and was generally miserable. I took that out in the worst way on someone who has been there for me through my whining, moaning, bitching, and generally not so great nature.

I took it out on them in the most unappealing and negative way imagineable. I haven't behaved so childishly since I was 17. That was almost 9 fucking years ago.

I duck my head in shame at my actions tonight. Fucking duck my head in shame.

If I were still a kid I would deserve a good spanking with the belt. And definitely not in any pleasurable type of way.

I am so disappointed in myself.

I'm trying to figure out if I have some subconscious thing that is trying to push people away right now. I don't know. I don't know why in the hell I would behave this way. It's just fucked up.

I'm not too pleased with myself. That's a thing that is certain.

I think maybe this person is the one who needs to hear this too?

Call them. Read that to them.

 

[lavender]

 

[sunstruck]

Write it down. People may ignore a ringing phone, but they'll open a letter.

 

[Guest]

Laurel is right. Though you made a mistake, this person knows all the crap you've been enduring. He/she knows due to supporting you through the bitching, moaning, etc. Yea, he/she might not be able to take it in, right now. But, I think, in the end, you'll be forgiven. We all have our shitty moments. ALL of us.

 

[KillerMuffin]

That bad huh?

Take out a piece of paper and a pen. Write out what you've just said and add whatever you sincerely feel. In the morning, read it over and see if it sums you up.

Then mail it to the person.

It may not come of anything, but at least you tried. And you did it in a way that shows permanence and true contrition. You will have a feeling of closure on this event because you did something proactive to try to start making up for your behavior.

And writing is a lot easier than talking to someone on the phone because you can spill more without having to actually face them.

 

[Siren]