I have a conundrum.

[Jada59]

Jada, i think you need to avoid all three of these guys to break out the vicious circle you appear to be in.

If you do not have any luck finding a nice man that likes sex, then change where you are looking, i would have thought Lit personals would be ideal.

I have met two guys from here in person. I think one just stopped by. Don’t think he’s a regular. We met because he asked about restaurants here as he would be needing to stop for dinner on his way home. I would not call it a date. It was fine though.

The other guy came to my dinner party. Thus was several years ago. We had already chatted and I’m pretty sure we both knew we had nothing in common. It was still cool that he showed up though!

 

[Jada59]

I find it interesting to find we each have different ideas on what @Jada59 is looking for. Our interpretations slightly diffrent. Would it be inpolite to hold a vote?

The advise is unanimous.

I’m looking for a guy who likes sex but also wants a long term relationship. I tell people that if I only wanted sex, I’d go to Bert’s tavern. I do joke though. I’ve never actually been there. It might not even be that kind of place. But I don’t drink so I guess I’ll never know.

I also know that a lot of men will tell you whatever they think you want to hear so they can get sex. It’s often obvious but sometimes not.

Ah well. Things seem to be getting better but rather not make a public comment that’s any more specific.

Thanks for your input!

 

[Jada59]

Your welcome.

Although Im in the UK, let's say I've only been to Burt's Tavern once. I soon decided its not my idea of intimacy.

I know they used to have good nachos. But they have a new owner now. Heard the food isn’t as good.

 

[PattyJune500]

You need a hug.

I would ditch all three and find another man -- a real man. Life is too short....

Love, Patty

 

[Hmm72]

You need a hug.

I would ditch all three and find another man -- a real man. Life is too short....

Love, Patty

Well said

 

[deathlynx]

Wrong side of the continent. But I agree with the sentiment, that you clearly understand, and say you're best to stay away from them. I do hope you find someone. A quick glance suggests there are a fair number of lit-izens in your neck of the woods!

 

[paulman999]

In a nutshell: My divorce wss final not quite 8 years ago.

I’m not really actively looking for a new man. But if I did find one, it would be great!

What I seem to have is 3 different guys who keep trying to come back.

I got a message from one earlier. HE broke up with ME 3 times. He was one that I gave a second chance to. But… 2nd time around, things got bad. I won’t get into that unless you specifically ask me to. I don’t like to bad mouth people. I will just say that I caught him in a series of lies. I even gave him a chance to come clean. But he continued to lie. So now I feel like not only can I not trust him, but I never really knew him.

The other two are almost interchangeable in terms of what they do. They come on hot and heavy. But then after I see them, they kind of disappear. Then they at some future time, expect me to take them back as if nothing had happened!

The one guy texted me pretty much every day for like 7-8 months! But it seemed he was always busy or sick or his dad needed him or…. Mind you we’ve been together off and on for probably 6-7 years.

We had long talks. I flat out told him what I wanted. And if he couldn’t give me that, then to find someone else. He promised me he had changed. Um… Apparently not.

Same with the other guy. Together off and on for 6-7 years. The last time I saw him, he wanted me to marry him. I don’t know that I want marriage. But we had made some future plans.

And then? He disappeared. I got one half hearted message since. I just told him I didn’t believe he wanted to see me.

So I guess where I’m going with all of this is: I want a man. A local (Seattle area) man who isn’t going to keep disappearing or lying. Preferably long term. And someone who likes sex. I don’t want a relationship that is sex based only. But for some reason, I keep finding men who either hate sex or have no interest in it. They are not for me.

I will add that the second man I mentioned, does have some sex issues. I can deal with that! But maybe he can’t. And maybe that’s why he disappears. Idk. I would talk about it with him but I don’t want to be the one to bring it up. That might be awkward.

Anyhoo… I realize that I probably won’t find my guy here on Lit. I don’t think there are very many local to me. I have spoken to some and have met two IRL. We just didn’t have much in common but they seemed like great guys.

I’m to the point now that if any of these guys contact me again, I will tell them that I won’t see them. I did block the guy who contacted me earlier. But I doubt that will be his last attempt.

So… What can I do? Any suggestions? My trust level is down. I feel I am grasping at straws.

You can PM me if you want.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

My simple opinion is it’s fresh start time, be clear about expectations and have fun…

 

[Jada59]

My simple opinion is it’s fresh start time, be clear about expectations and have fun…

Yes. Agree. Thank you!

 

[Pad_Foot]

Phew ! I’m not part of the conundrum

Forget the old losers!!

You can find far better ! Until you do, get close to a whole stable of willing guys online to keep you feeling wanted !!

 

[deathlynx]

You can find far better ! Until you do, get close to a whole stable of willing guys online to keep you feeling wanted !!

She's clearly accomplished that part already! And, hey, Cally is at least on the correct coast!