I need help to create a character

[Jenny_Jackson]

I'm just going to play Devil's Advocate for the fun of it. At my high school, the most attractive girls were actually on the competitive dance team, and didn't have time for cheerleading. Now, a lot of the cheerleaders were "above average", and the vast majority were attractive in their own right, but it's not totally unrealistic to have a cheerleader who grossly underestimates her own attractiveness. Sadly, most teenage girls and young women (and many older) have self-esteem and body image issues, even quite attractive ones. There are tons of 18 and 19 year old women out there that every straight man in America would enjoy seeing naked, but who thinks her body is "average" or worse.

While I agree that most Cheerleaders are outgoing, "joiners", I disagree strongly on the narcissism. At least at my high school, it was more about "school spirit" and wanting to be part of something bigger than oneself.

I'm not sure I agree. Cheerleading is PERFORMANCE. You don't find a lot of people in cheerleading who have self-esteem problems.

 

[gauchecritic]

Before I comment, and it may be that I don't comment at all, I'd like a bit of your writing history. Have you submitted smut to lit before? Have you tried your hand at short stories? Is this your first attempt at writing?

On another site there are about half of the posters that ask questions about their first or latest novel. More than a few of them will post excerpts asking for advice about plot development or character progression and the excerpts themselves are almost unreadable for many and varied reasons.

Now I'm all for enthusiasm and self belief but the first requirement of being a writer is being able to write. The best way to learn about writing is by writing (and reading). THE best way to find out your weaknesses and strengths is by asking others for their views. (So you at least made a good start there)

Ogg's advice is good and sensible, as is a lot of advice that you can glean here in the AH. The one thing I will comment on is Ogg's advice and point out that if there is one thing that is common to the vast majority of writers it is that they write about people. If there is one thing that the majority of writers know about it is about people. So this is one common thread to professionals and amateurs alike, in writing about people they are all writing about what they know.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Now I'm all for enthusiasm and self belief but the first requirement of being a writer is being able to write. The best way to learn about writing is by writing (and reading). THE best way to find out your weaknesses and strengths is by asking others for their views. (So you at least made a good start there)

HA! Got you all fooled. I suck at writing. Neener neener

 

[TheeGoatPig]

HA! Got you all fooled. I suck at writing. Neener neener

I think you're the only one who is fooled by that statement. You're a very engaging writer, and I have enjoyed all of your stories that I have read (which admitedly is only two or three, but they were all goo )

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I think you're the only one who is fooled by that statement. You're a very engaging writer, and I have enjoyed all of your stories that I have read (which admitedly is only two or three, but they were all goo )

That's right, Thee...They're GOO

 

[gauchecritic]

HA! Got you all fooled. I suck at writing. Neener neener

 

[3113]

While I agree that most Cheerleaders are outgoing, "joiners", I disagree strongly on the narcissism. At least at my high school, it was more about "school spirit" and wanting to be part of something bigger than oneself.

Hey, I only said a "bit" of a narcissist I'm not saying they're completely narcissistic, but they do have to have some confidence in themselves and their talent (or beauty) otherwise they'd say, "What's the use of trying out for cheerleading squad? I'm too ulgy and untalented to ever be a cheerleader...."

Hey, we writers have some narcissism come to that. We think what we have to say is good enough that we should post it for thousands of people to read. It's not a bad thing. Narcissism allows you to put yourself out there and take criticism without wilting away.

Now, there are others who put themselves out there without narcissism--with humility instead. But they usually become, well, Mother Teresas not Cheerleaders. People with grand causes. And yeah, sure, a girl could put herself on the cheerleading squad just to be part of something, or for the sake of school spirit. Could happen.

But we're walking a thin line here. Especially if this cheerleader also didn't know what effect she had on boys. Speaking of which, it's not whether they're the best looking girls in school. They HAVE to have good bodies, athletic bodies, and few Cheerleading outfits are that modest. I assure you, those cheerleaders with their flips and back bends and bouncing breasts ARE turning the boys on even if, alas, they're only the second best looking girls in school

But here's the real point: There's only so many hard-to-believe things you can feed a reader in one story. We might believe a story where an ex-cheerleader goes to her 10 year reunion and learns she turned on a lot of guys--but she herself naively never suspected it.

The reader might buy that. But NOT if it's pulling several train cars of OTHER hard to believe things. Pulling a rich husband, working as a CPA, a modeling job that lands her on perfume billboards, success that makes her realize her body is alluring for the first time ever in her life?

How many impossible things can you believe before breakfast?

In the end, the cheerleader who doesn't know she's alluring might be believable, but not if it's merely one hard-to-believe step on the way up so many other hard to believe steps. Like I said before, this story is carrying too much baggage.

 

[JamesSD]

I'm not sure I agree. Cheerleading is PERFORMANCE. You don't find a lot of people in cheerleading who have self-esteem problems.

Stripping and starring in porn are performance. Do you think those women, as a whole, have high or low self-esteem?

But we're walking a thin line here. Especially if this cheerleader also didn't know what effect she had on boys. Speaking of which, it's not whether they're the best looking girls in school. They HAVE to have good bodies, athletic bodies, and few Cheerleading outfits are that modest. I assure you, those cheerleaders with their flips and back bends and bouncing breasts ARE turning the boys on even if, alas, they're only the second best looking girls in school

From my observation, pretty much every young woman underestimates how attractive she is to the opposite sex, from the hottest of the hotties, to those who aren't conventionally attractive, but have a good feature or two. Women tend to look at their own bodies and focus on the "flaws"; men look at women and focus on features we like looking at.

It is harder to have a college cheerleader who doesn't know that men find her attractive and want to fuck her. Cheerleading in college involves much more of a time commitment, especially at a major Division I school.

 

[MadelynW]

This is fantastic feedback

Sorry. No icon. None of the icons look as happy as I feel.

Yes, you're right - to be believable, she's got to know she's attractive. Good lord, what does that feel like?

How's this: She and her good friend begin hobby modelling in high school. Both girls want to be models, but my character's mum keeps at her about having something to fall back on - accounting. By third year at college, her friend is desperate and signs both of them up to do the Playboy College Coed thing.

Yes, up till then she's been aware of her effect on men, but at the Playboy test shoot she... um...

Not sure what happens after that.

How do I credit all the help you guys are giving me?

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Just write a good story, MW. This is the same exercise we all go through with our characters on every damn story.