Rob_Royale
with cheese
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2022
- Posts
- 8,382
I swear I did. She was from a very small southern town and her mother, man, her mother would just not stop with the religious banter. Crosses everywhere, hymns on the radio, and I swear she practically lived at their church.
So, when my girlfriend started talking about her relationship with Jesus, I just assumed you know? I figured the apple hadn't fallen very far and that was that. But she just kept on about how serious she was about how much she loved how Jesus touched her. And supposedly, Jesus just loved her too.
I mean, I'm not a religious sort, so there was no conflict, you know? I'm an open sort of dude and I figured ... hey whatever makes her happy. And fuck, what a freak in the sheets! I had to force myself to not propose to her every time we fucked. It was just that good, you know? Which surprised me a bit. I never knew the religious sorts were that into all the shit she had me try with her.
So, when one day we were lying there on the damp sheets covered in each other's cum, she rolled over, kissed me and said, "You're almost as good as Jesus."
Call me a moron if you want, but I thought she was just poking a little fun with me and I laughed. "Second to the son of God? Hell, I'll take that any day. He's two-thousand years old, so he's learned some tricks, he knows what he's doing, right?" I joked back at her and she just sort of stared at me blankly.
"No. I mean Jesus. The Latin guy who runs the Autozone?" she said and blushed a bright red.
I'll admit I was taken aback and I blinked hard. "Oh. Hun, I think they pronounce it 'heh-soos'."
Now it was her turn to be surprised. "OH! Is that what he was saying every time I screamed his name?"
So, when my girlfriend started talking about her relationship with Jesus, I just assumed you know? I figured the apple hadn't fallen very far and that was that. But she just kept on about how serious she was about how much she loved how Jesus touched her. And supposedly, Jesus just loved her too.
I mean, I'm not a religious sort, so there was no conflict, you know? I'm an open sort of dude and I figured ... hey whatever makes her happy. And fuck, what a freak in the sheets! I had to force myself to not propose to her every time we fucked. It was just that good, you know? Which surprised me a bit. I never knew the religious sorts were that into all the shit she had me try with her.
So, when one day we were lying there on the damp sheets covered in each other's cum, she rolled over, kissed me and said, "You're almost as good as Jesus."
Call me a moron if you want, but I thought she was just poking a little fun with me and I laughed. "Second to the son of God? Hell, I'll take that any day. He's two-thousand years old, so he's learned some tricks, he knows what he's doing, right?" I joked back at her and she just sort of stared at me blankly.
"No. I mean Jesus. The Latin guy who runs the Autozone?" she said and blushed a bright red.
I'll admit I was taken aback and I blinked hard. "Oh. Hun, I think they pronounce it 'heh-soos'."
Now it was her turn to be surprised. "OH! Is that what he was saying every time I screamed his name?"
